Man. I feel so thirsty lately.  I can’t drink enough water. I feel like the senator guy in that X-Men movie after getting exposed to Magneto’s mutant machine, and he keeps drinking drinking drinking water uncontrollably until he dives into the ocean and becomes a terrifying jellyfish creature and explodes.  Freaking Magneto. I was already sympathetic to the mutant cause. Why you gotta hate?

You’re not a mutant, honey, you’re a mermaid.  It’s all right.  Once your scales start coming in, you won’t be as thirsty.

You know, being a diagnostician in a world with more public magical creatures must be a trip and a half.  

“Have you considered that you may not, in fact, actually be a mammal?”

“Okay, I’m going to have to refer you to a specialist. It looks like your tertiary dentition is coming in.” “I think we need to check for allergic reactions to silver, iron, a few types of wood, garlic, and holy water. That’ll help us rule out some possible causes for this rash. In the mean time I think you should avoid Italian food and holy ground.”

“Have you noticed clusters of birds following you? Were they corvids? Hm, interesting. You ought to come in to the office so we can discuss this further.” “That itching sensation might be a rash, but I think we ought to give you an MRI and see if you’re about to grow horns.”

So basically, medicine in the Dark Ages, upgraded.

This is literally my dream as a writer and my worst nightmare as a nurse

So I imagine a supernatural version of House where almost every episode someone is like “it’s lycanthropy” and the House character goes “it’s never lycanthropy” except for the one episode it is where the title of the episode is lycanthropy.

it’s safe to say i think about this video at least four times a day, i can quote almost the whole thing from memory

[Caption:

Two people, both played by the same person, sit facing each other. One tells the story while the other responds with various, mildly distressed/discomfited expressions throughout.

Storyteller: “So I’m Christmas shopping for my niece at my favorite little boutique, Office Depot, and I ask the sales guy, ‘Hey, you got any printer-scan-fax combos?’

He says, ‘Printer-scan-fax combos? Pal, every child in America wants one of those. You’re too late.’

I say, ‘You don’t even have one left?’

He says, ‘Well, we’ve got one, but it has a problem.’

I say, ‘What’s the problem?’

He says, ‘This particular Hewlett Packard prints off thirst trap photos of Ted Cruz.’

I say, ‘It prints off thirst trap photos of Ted Cruz?! Well, I don’t want that.’

He says, ‘Yeah, nobody does. That’s why it’s the last one left.’

I say, ‘Can you turn that feature off?’

He says, ‘Not only can we not turn it off, we unplugged the damn thing and it still prints them out.’

I say, ‘You got yourself a cursed printer-scan-fax combo, pal.’

He says, ‘I know, but there’s nothing we can do.’

I say, ‘Hold on.  I know a guy.’ And I call up my old friend, Guillaume Mezzanine, the bush pilot. I say, ‘Guillaume, you used to exorcise office supplies back in the day?’

He said, ‘Sure did.’

I said, ‘Well, I got a Hewlett Packard here with some kind of Carly Fiorina-themed curse on it. You think you can help me out?’

He says, ‘I’m already on my way.’

And that’s when I hear the propellers of Guillaume’s biplane landing in the parking lot  – he has excellent timing – and Guillaume walks in wearing a priest’s outfit. I say, ‘Guillaume, you used to be a priest?’

He says, ‘I did, but I had to quit because I’m too good at sex.’

I said, ‘Guillaume, you’re one bad motherfucker!’

We high-five, and he starts throwing holy water on the Hewlett Packard, going ‘Let the power of Christ compel ya, let the power of Christ compel ya.’ It starts printing out nastier and nastier photos of Ted Cruz, one where he’s in a leopard-print thong bikini and sucking on a lollipop. Flies up into the face of the sales guy and he starts vomiting black ink all over the store. Hauugh, hauugh, hauugh.

Guillaume responds by pulling out a photo of Jude Law, and he says, ‘Let the power of Young Pope compel ya, let the power of Young Pope compel ya!’

The machine rises up off the ground, starts shaking. The photo of Jude Law bursts into flames. I go, ‘Guillaume, what’s going on?!’

He says, ‘It’s summoning beasts.’

All of a sudden, snakes and gerbils from the Petco next door start flooding in, and the fish, well, they’re just doing they’re best.

I say, ‘Guillaume, what do we do?’

He says, ‘I don’t know, I’ve never seen evil like this before!’

I say, ‘Hold on. I’ve got an idea so crazy it might just work.’

I grab a stack of those nasty thirst traps and I tape them into a long chain. I shove one end into the paper supply tray. It starts printing thirst trap photos atop thirst trap photos. I connect the two ends together, creating an infinite loop of nasty, Republican smut! The belt of thirst trap photos starts spinning and spinning and spinning, faster and faster and faster. The sides of the printer start to crack, and amid this terrifying light, Guillaume says, ‘Don’t look into the light!’

Of course, the sales guy looks right into the light, and his face melts off like a pat of butter on a hot stack of flapjacks.

Then the printer IMPLODES, creating an unholy wind sucking everything in the store into it! The gerbils, the snakes, the thirst trap photos! Guillaume and I hold on for dear life! AHHHHHHH pff.

And it stops.  I look at Guillaume, I say, ‘Is it over?’

He says, ‘Yeah. It’s over.’

So I got my niece a gift card instead.

End caption]

oh goody a pony cleaning instruction vid-

WHAT THE FUCK

Linking the creator, Jenny Nicholson, and her vid Let's Fix Some Ponies, she gives her full process for cleaning/restoring the toys.

Captions:

Sometimes, when you've been collecting ponies for a while, you get one and then you realize that it was the last one you needed, in a set.

Today the pony I'm washing is called Mommy Bright Bouquet. She's part of the Loving Family pony line. These ponies were sold as families of three. In the United States, they came all in one big box. Although, I believe in the UK, they were packaged separately, and you could also buy an additional sibling. But whatever country you're collecting in, they are vintage toys and it's obviously really common for them to get separated over the years, so you're pretty much just gonna pick up one at a time.

In my case, I started actively collecting in, around 2004. And at that time Hasbro was not manufacturing any boy ponies, which means when I was looking at the vintage toys, I was very drawn to those. So, from the family sets, I tried to get the dad ponies. In the case of the Bright Bouquets, I actually already have a dad and a baby, so I was pretty excited when I was going through my big bag of ponies that need restoring, and I saw that the mom was in there.

I think this one cleaned up really nicely and it's going to look great on my shelf, next to the rest of the family, but. I have to wonder. From the pony's perspective, does she just accept this as a happy reunion? Can she not tell these apart from her original husband and child? Or, does she feel in her bones that something is not quite right? And, of the two possibilities, which one would be worse?

End captions.

ooomg do you remember me we were created in the same unethical lab! yeah i was like 2 green tubes down from you! i knew you looked familiar

[ID: comic of two people in movie t shirts. Caption: 1st Annual Convention for directors whose movies get wrongly attributed tio other people. Zoom in on one person who's shirt is nightmare before Christmas. On it is a name tag reading: Hello my name is Henry Selick. Next shirt is the poster for Goncharov and the name tag reads: Matteo JWHJ0715 /]

[Image description: tumblr loading gradients. The last image is a compilation of tags reading, “The cinematography is insane.

Oh my god, I loved that scene but the whole fandom seems to be sleeping on it!!!

Really enjoying this Renaissance. The third one lmao. Katya is so hot.

God, these gifs really encapsulate the vibe of the film. Incredibly well done. Took my lousy Wi-Fi ages to load though”

End ID.]

- Goncharov (1973)

[Image: a grainy photograph of pale hands holding a red apple. The person these hands belong to is wearing a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up. End description.]

Can we talk how in the iconic Market Scene™, when Katya and Sofia exchange the apple and pomegranate (respectively) it signifies the mutual tentation and desire they (secretly, unknowingly) feel for each other?????

Like, guy. GUYS. The fucking look they give each other. How Katya is tentation, how Sofia is being slowly trapped in the narrative by Katya, like persephone was trapped in the underground by Hades (or how she chooses to stay, and willingly decides to consume the seeds, like Sofia does in that other scene, just at the end).

In other words, Sofia best girl. Katya best girl (they both get the apartment Katya talked about with Andrey during that extended restaurant scene).

My favorite thing about Goncharov (1973) is that it's not about revenge. Nobody sets out to make someone pay for what they did. They're looking out for themselves, stepping over whoever they need to to stay on top, the proverbial crabs in a bucket. They hurt each other as a result but they never do it for revenge. Even with Katya's betrayal it wasn't done for righting some kind of wrong. She did it to get what she wanted, just like everyone else.

Religious Symbolism in Goncharov

As is apparent from a whole range of his movies and most of all Silence (2016), Scorsese grew up a devout catholic and even at some point considered the priesthood. That said, the religious symbolism in Goncharov (1973) is not overt, but still a very significant and often overlooked plot devise. To name just one example, a passing remark about Andrej’s conversion from the Russian orthodox to the Roman Catholic faith early on in the movie (at 10:45) can actually be read as an omen because it signals that he has indeed found a new home in Italy and will turn his back on Goncharov and Katya just as he did on his former Church. It’s subtle, but I think a very important trope worth exploring

“Take care, Andrey. You never know when your time could run out.”

GONCHAROV (1973) Dir. Martin Scorsese

When Katya said “Of course we’re in love. That’s why i tried to shoot you.” And Goncharov said “If we really were in love you wouldn’t have missed.” 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

when you realize those are the last words they speak to each other

This, and then when Andrey kills Goncharov at the end… Andrey didn’t miss.

[Image 1: it is raining heavily and the street has started flooding. There's a person laying in the water. Photographed from a distance, and a bit from above like the person holding the camera was at a window.

Images 2 to 5: each photo shows a person with an expressionless face. Two people are laying in bed on their backs and looking up. One is laying on their side and bundled in a blanket. One is sitting in a cardboard box.

Image 6, last: a stick figure on a red background. There are scribbles around them, getting thicker towards the edges of the image, to the point you can't see the background. They are sitting on the ground with their legs folded, leaning on their hand and looking down. The face isn't drawn.

End description.]

Goncharov score masterpost

I want to make a post to keep track of all the Goncharov score that’s been uploaded to tumblr, so I will link to all the one’s I’ve found so far and update with any new ones that come up (if you know any I’m missing please share the link!)

Main Theme uploaded by @caramiaaddio

Main Theme (End Titles) uploaded by @if-only-angels-could-prevail

The Bridge Breaks uploaded by @nicewizard

The Clocktower uploaded by @dungeonmastersconsortium

Farewell Scene uploaded by @levuna (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Tempus Fugit - “Clock Theme” uploaded by @trupowieszcz  (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Goncharov Theme in Minor uploaded by @mapplejuice  (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Katya’s Leitmotif (Vinyl Rip) uploaded by @unscharf-an-den-raendern  (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Andrey’s Theme uploaded by @the-frosty-mac (pointed out to me by @muzic4sewerratz , thank you!)

It Is True (Extract) uploaded by @hex-of-els (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Memories Of Water - Goncharov Soundtrack uploaded by @rismrus (pointed out to me by themself– please do feel free to toot your own horn!)

Katya’s Sonata uploaded by @arcanistvysoren

“For My Love” Andrey’s Serenade uploaded by @shits-getting-weird (pointed out to me by themself)

Stolen Time uploaded by @avatar-of-the-vast (I lost track of who pointed this one out to me I’m sorry but my notifications at the moment are A Lot, so thank you to whoever it was and I’m sorry I don’t know who you were)

Sharing A Dance uploaded by @the-frosty-mac (pointed out to me by themself)

In The Boathouse uploaded by @madame-karenina

What Was And Will Be uploaded by @piano-flute​

Overture on the Clocktower uploaded by @dead-minecraft-fandoms​ (pointed out to me by @mccoppinscrapyard, thank you!)

Privyet Goncharov uploaded by @rismrus (pointed out to me by themself)

Dockside #2, one of the unreleased tracks, uploaded by @reptilemodernism

Bonus:

Cover of the song Goncharov (2010) by @idiopathicsmile  (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

At Goncharov’s Gate (PC Version), song written for the PC game with a Super NES port released in 1994 for PC-DOS, uploaded by @badgraph1csghost (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

“Do you see me now, Goncharov?”

~

Katya was so real for this scene

[Image: drawing of Katya from the movie Goncharov (1973). She is blonde and blue eyed, wearing a pearl necklace and a blue outfit, clutching a fur shaw or coat, bunching around her elbows. She is looking at us with a slack expression. There's blood at the corner of her mouth, some on her neck and neckline, and a lot on the left side of her outfit, soaking the shaw. /End description.]

One of the most poignant unsung tragedies of Goncharov is that Goncharov never finds out Andrey's real name. I mean, it was incredibly noble of Sofia to take that secret to her grave, but even in the concrete cellar, Goncharov is still preoccupied with Andrey's identity. He never finds out who this fascinating man actually was, and neither do we. Leaving that question unanswered reinforces Andrey's heartbreaking position as a man lost in a wilderness of other people and deciding- against both his and Goncharov's best interests- to stay lost.

Guys, guys, guys.

I know everyone here is discussing the homoerotic tension subtext square polycule whatever you call it between Goncharov, Andrey, Katya and Sofia and I GET IT.

But are we going to just ignore the aroace icon that is Valery Michailov???

This is just the stuff out the top of my mind. If anyone has anything to add, feel free to contribute.

its so fucking funny when film bros r like "katya and sofia only kissed in the dressing room scene bc they were incognito and sofia was pretending to be her husband" as if they werent COMPLETELY ALONE IN THE DRESSING ROOM AND SOFIA WAS TAKING THE DISGUISE OFF?? LMAO???