Every single time I say the phrase “I was classically trained in the art of multiple choice tests” everyone in the room who’s not a millennial laughs at my joke while all the other millennials in the room immediately look like they just walked in on a funeral by accident.
teach me please
Why? It has nothing to do with the real world and I’m mad that the school system taught me how to take multiple choice tests rather than write a report for a job or properly research what issues are important when deciding who to vote for in an election. Or like… accurate history. You know. Actual stuff you need to know to be a person.
im currently stuck in the school system and I want cheat codes
Okay, I completely understand wanting to know the actual stuff, I want to know those things too, and those are things im working on learning. but to be able to get to the information that tells me these things I need to survive this hellhole of a system and im bad at tests, which means i dont survive very well.
Okay fine.
- Read the entire question twice to look for tricky wording. If you’re allowed to write on it circle or underline words like NOT or EXCEPT or other things your brain might skip over. This will make it less likely you’ll skip over them.
- Read all the answers before answering. Sometimes the wrong answers are so stupid you don’t even have to work out the problem or try to remember the thing.
- If the entire test is about the same subject (Colonial America for example) answers might be found in previous questions. Like question #6 might ask who wrote Common Sense. You might remember that back in question one it said “In Common Sense by Thomas Paine” and there’s your answer. This happens a lot more often than you’d think.
- If you don’t know the answer cross out the answers you know are incorrect. If there are four answers but you know one of them is wrong your odds of guessing right just went up from 25% to 33%. If you can eliminate two answers then you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right.
- If you can’t eliminate any answers at all guess C. The placement of correct answers isn’t completely random and C is the answer slightly more often than other answers. If you guess randomly your odds of getting the answer right actually goes down.
- Read study guides and take practice tests. Actually read them. Especially if they’re written by the same person who wrote the test you’ll be taking. You’ll be more likely to pick up on their quirks and what kind of trick questions they write if you use the study material. You’ll also know what to study and what to leave.
- For sections where there’s a list of words you have to match to definitions read the words first. You’re probably more likely to know the definition of a word then the word that goes with a definition. (or time period or math method or whatever). Answer the ones you know and leave the ones you don’t until you’re completely done with that section. Then look at your remaining words and definitions and match them to the ones that sound the least ridiculous.
- Don’t take a test on an empty stomach unless you’re fasting for religious reasons. I don’t care if you haven’t eaten breakfast in twenty years. You’re gonna eat something before you take that test.
- Remember that taking multiple choice tests is a skill that not everyone is naturally good at and it’s a skill that means absolutely nothing in the real world. So however you do on this test doesn’t dictate your worth as a person.
As someone who is also classically trained in the art of multiple choice test, I can confirm
Yeah I learned all this shit too. And like while most things public school teaches you is such fucking bullshit, this is actually true.
The C trick isn’t always useful, especially when it’s a computer-generated test. But I would recommend choosing an option to stick to, if only because it limits the brain energy you use on questions you can’t answer.
Similarly, don’t panic if you’re getting A for five questions in a row: if the teacher has made any attempt to randomize answers, this is entirely possible. I’ve also known teachers who do this on purpose to mess with students (yes, really).
Also, this is very important: As long as your test doesn’t deduct points for wrong answers, you should always answer every question no matter what. Use the last 5 minutes to fill them all in.
