#bless this – @holyfudgemonkeys on Tumblr

Anonymous asked:

i don't know if you watch parks and rec, but if you do, have you ever thought about how good and pure a parks and rec/x-files crossover would be?

foxmulders answered:

have i ever thought about it? only every day of my life. it would go a little like this:

they’re investigating cow mutilations in muncy (ratio of cows to people: 4 to 1, which actually makes the mutilations that much stranger), and their car breaks down outside j.j.’s diner in pawnee. scully tries to avoid getting waffles, but the blonde woman two booths over is surprisingly demanding about it for a complete stranger. scully tells her she prefers pancakes, thanks, and leslie spills her coffee all over her polka-dot blouse in pure horror. mulder finds this somehow acutely funny and spills his orange juice laughing. scully and the blonde woman’s scrawny date make understanding eye-contact, mid-sigh. between cleaning the tables and offering to pay each other’s bills they somehow wind up agreeing to tour city hall. scully still isn’t sure how, but mulder kept whispering about the ghost of a mini-horse and that blond woman kept beaming and –
leslie is obsessed with scully, who doesn’t really know what to do with a 5′1 bureaucrat bursting with energy. actually, everyone in city hall is kind of obsessed with scully. it takes 10 minutes and one (1) eye-roll for april to mimic scully’s crossed arms and half-pout. she tells donna she can’t decide if she wants her to marry her or adopt her. ron “appreciates her silence” and “dislikes her line of work,” she informs him that he, too, works for the government and he doesn’t talk for the rest of the time they’re in town (but he shakes her hand when she leaves and is impressed by her grip.)
ann takes one look at scully and thinks “ohhhhhhhh i get it now!” she comes out two weeks later and leslie bakes her a rainbow cake
tom and donna rope mulder into a spontaneous treat yo self day and he buys huge inflatable ufo balloon that will never ever ever fit in their rental car
mulder and ben both gaze at scully and leslie respectively and pretend they totally aren’t. they bond over both being completely in awe of the women in their lives and also star trek vs star wars (they can both argue either side, it never comes to blows)
andy is a little bit freaked out by the fact that mulder and scully have guns. bert macklin, fbi, is totally into it though. mulder was going to take him into a field behind the closed e720 warehouse to do some target practice, but scully found out and his clip mysteriously disappeared from his sig sauer.
over a 2 hour tour ben and scully develop a very close relationship of mutual eye-rolls and affectionate calming-down of their equally excitable partners. leslie offers to show mulder the files on ufo activity (36 of them, 12 which were proven to be blimps from sweetums), witch craft (15 of which april definitely forged) and apocalyptic cults (too many to count) and he almost cries.
mulder: we’ll never get to meet lil sebastian, may he rest in peace. scully: wasn’t he just a pony?ben: THANK YOU
they never do see lil sebastian’s ghost haunting the courtyard, as leslie had claimed. they do, however, briefly mistake ethel beavers for a malevolent spirit. mulder promises to open an x-file on the 4th floor when they make it back to dc.
before they leave the whole department takes them back to jj’s. mulder and ben exchange phone numbers so they can compare notes on the upcoming star wars movies and the legitimacy of alien phenomenon in Spielberg films. leslie makes scully promise to come to galentine’s day if she’s ever in town, gives her a hand-bound scrapbook that says “your pawnee adventure” on the front that no one understands how she made so fast ( “magic,” mulder suggests and leslie smiles). this time, scully gets waffles. with extra whipped cream.

#bless this #Xfiles #Parks and Rec #q

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