Ravenclaw: Up until today I thought you were good at math.
Hufflepuff: I’m gay! What did you expect???
Ravenclaw: Why are you always so paranoid?
Hufflepuff: I threw a boomerang many years ago and it never came back. Now I live in constant fear.
Hufflepuff: You two seem kind of out of it today. What did you eat for breakfast?
Ravenclaw: Don’t be silly, what I ate this morning has nothing to do with my current state.
Hufflepuff: Gryffindor, what was your breakfast?
Gryffindor: M&M cereal.
Hufflepuff: Oh god, you see! That’s what I mean, I didn’t even know M&Ms made a cereal!
Gryffindor: They don’t, it’s just M&Ms in a bowl with milk.
Gryffindor: I’ll bet my whole month’s wages!
Slytherin: …You’re betting eight dollars?
Hufflepuff: Slytherin only pays you eight dollars a month?!
Gryffindor: He’s afraid if he gives me more, I’ll hop a train back to my hometown and leave him.
Ravenclaw: That’s stupid!
Gryffindor: No, not really.
Hufflepuff: Ravenclaw, you have a lot to offer. You’re funny, you’re smart.
Gryffindor: You’re creative, you’ve got great style.
Slytherin:
Slytherin: Oh, did you want me to say something? Uh, you have dark hair. Your name is Ravenclaw.
Ravenclaw: Thanks Slytherin.
Ravenclaw: It’s so frustrating.
Gryffindor: What?
Ravenclaw: How Hufflepuff keeps dropping such obvious hints that he’s into Slytherin but he’s just completely oblivious.
Gryffindor: *wearing a shirt with “PLEASE DATE ME RAVENCLAW” written on the front*
Gryffindor: Haha yeah.
Hufflepuff: It smells good. I didn’t know you could cook.
Ravenclaw: I can’t. This is take-out.
Hufflepuff: n…no!
Ravenclaw: A fair rebuttal. However, consider this counterpoint: Y…yes???
Hufflepuff: I’ve been here since 4am! I’ve already had three meals.
Ravenclaw: It’s not even seven!
Ravenclaw: That’s too many meals!
Hufflepuff: Ravenclaw you are the tighassiest tightass whoever tightened up an ass.
Gryffindor: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.
Ravenclaw: I sleep with a knife.
Hufflepuff: Both of you are pathetic.
Gryffindor: Oh, yeah? What do you sleep with?
Hufflepuff: Slytherin.
Huffleclaw|Sagittarius|Virgo Rising for @celineisstudying
Hufflepuff: What’s your biggest fear?
Ravenclaw: I don’t trust fish.
Hufflepuff:
Ravenclaw: They breathe water! That’s crazy!
Hufflepuff: I should say a reassuring thing right now, shouldn’t I?
Ravenclaw: Yeah, probably?
Hufflepuff: I’m still quite socially awkward.
Hufflepuff: So I’m just going to subtly walk over to the console, and look at something. And then, in a minute, I’ll think of something that I should have said, that might have been helpful.
Hufflepuff: Oh, are you done writing your speech for Gryffindor and Ravenclaw’s wedding?
Slytherin: Yep.
Hufflepuff: That’s just one sentence.
Slytherin: It’s perfect.
Hufflepuff: *reading aloud* “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”
Slytherin: Hufflepuff fills my heart with some sort of new emotion I’ve never felt before. They make me feel warm and want to smile!
Ravenclaw: Slytherin, I think that’s happiness.
Slytherin: I awoke at five in the morning so I could put spiders in Ravenclaw’s bed before he wakes.
Hufflepuff: I wish I could care about something as much as you care about ruining Ravenclaw’s life.