I feel like the debate on why people aren't having children often focuses on the affordability crisis and especially childcare costs. I think another reason people are choosing not to have kids is because a lot of younger people are doing the work, going to therapy, figuring out their issues and the shit their parents did that gave them those issues. Plenty of people are realizing that their parents shouldn't have been together and probably shouldn't have had kids. How many couples got together and started a family just because it was expected of them? -People marrying and having kids early before they even knew who they were? Millennials especially are often children of divorce. We witness what happens when two people get together and have kids without having a foundation or working through relationship issues. Think of all the people who divorced at the beginning of COVID because they finally had to spend time together and found out they hated each other?? How do you even get married to someone you can't hang out with for hours on end?

Many young people are waiting, ensuring their relationships are good; they're recognizing the traumas their parents had and passed on. Sometimes this means accepting that you would not be a good parent: accepting that the trauma you carry is something a child doesn't deserve. People are finally realizing that having kids just to have kids is a disservice to everyone and working on undoing generational trauma. There are still plenty of people having kids at 21, but it's becoming less and less. Literally none of the people in my high school group have had kids and most of us are turning 30 or 31 in the near future. My sister is pregnant with her first kid at 28.

There are plenty of people who want children who struggle with childcare affordability, but there's also plenty of people who just don't want children. Raising children is finally rightly being seen as the hard work and sacrifice it is and people are either ensuring they're ready for that work, or figuring out it's not for them. In either case it's a better outcome for the children. Children being born to homes that can support their growth is going to create more mentally healthy and resilient adults.