:-)
The truth...
This sounds crazy,but I always wanted to say this to my best friend,but I was not able to say this to anymore.So my Tumblr is the only place where I am not afraid to say how I feel at the moment. The most of the time I just want that tje day just ends…I hope it doesn’t take long…the only moments which I enjoy and think “I hope this moment last forever” is while being with my best friend Alex or Lorena,while watching my favourite soap and while celebrating and being drunk…
I have friend,okay not just 'only' a friend,he is my best friend.Before I had depression,he did not know many about this,only some things,which nearly everyone knows.he was the first one who I told that I am depressive.He was shocked,but also told me that he is here for me and help me and he did this.He searched for information in the internet and asked me many questions,because he wanted to understand my disease.He did not thought 'omg she is a pschyo',even if I said I am a psycho,he just said 'No,you are just ill'.We talked and still talk so many times about depression and today he is like an expert,he knows how to help me the best and waht he can say and what makes me feel terrible.When he sees that I am crying,her knows that he just has to hug me tight.When I felt in the night really terrible,he tried to be awake aslong as possible and talked to me until I felt better.Before I started selfharm,he just thought people do this for attention,but when I began to hurt my body,he changed his opinion and tried to undertsnad why somebody does this.He wanted to know everything about my disease.I also had and still have sometimes suicide thoughts,but instead of saying 'Are you crazy?There are people who have a more terrible life and YOU wat to kill yourself?!'.he talked with me so many times about it and when I wanted to do it,he always helped me not to commit suicide.He always knows when I do not feel good,even while i am saying 'I feel fine'.He is a really wonderful person,and I really love my best friend!
This text is written in the past,but he still does all those things for my recovery.I am so glad to have him.Mine.
This night is such a nightmare...I need a cute message in Tumblr or Whatsapp or whatever....I need my best friend...I feel so bad and alone...
A
You are my everything.You are the only Person who really knows everything about me.I don't feel afraid to say all those things to you.I would never Tell You a lie.You can me make sooo happy but also can hurt me so much.Hugging you Feels Like having somebody who is able to take all my pain away.You always see when I feel Bad.But you are also the reason why I feel so much better today.You never left me alone.We so many conflicts,but there was not any which could tear us apart.You help me to get healthy and be a better Person.You know how exactly how I am And I know who you are.Being with you makes me feel Like never having a mentall illness.I often don't understand Ironic or Jokes,so You laugh at me und Tell me I am a typical blonde.You never left no matter how hard it was.I cried so often in Front of your eyes but you just hugged me and were cute.You are Mine.You helped me with my Fears and selfhate.We both did faults but we will be always best friends and I am so proud and happy to happy you.I love you,A!
I thought we belong together and nothing could seperate us.I thought.You was my everything.But last Night showed me who you are.Not my Guy anymore.I do not know how to Look in your eyes without thinking what a Person and Friend you are.There was something which fascinate me,but yesterday I realised because of a Friend,that I just had the wish that You would Show me that I am the most important,but you never did. And today I do not know what I should do.Maybe just end everything with you...I am dissapointed. A...
Today was not easy but Lorena saved my say and Alex and Ina my evening.
I really have the best friends in the world. Other people who have depression were left by their friends,but my friends never leave me alone,they are always there for me and help me.They are so amazing and I love them so much! A-A-A-E-I-L-L-L-N-N-S-S-S-V-V
06-07-2014
This day was so wonderful!
I was the whole day by Lorena.She is so wonderful and we laughed and talked so much.We are so many days together so it is already like we are sisters.My sis,I love her.Even if the day ist terrible,with her it is always a good day.The whole I wrote with my Alex and he made me smile.He just makes me happy and I am so happy if we meet on Tiesday.My boy.
Oh I can just day this was a good day!
Circa two years a ago I met a boy.We had two lessons every week together.We started writing.Since this day we write every day without pause.He became more and more important everyday,today he is the most important boy in my life.When we started talking,writing and doing things together,I never thought that he will have such an important role in my life.He was and is always ther for me.He is the only one who I can always talk to and tell everything.When I have a terrible day he helps me,he comes to me,he hugs me.Yes,he is amazing,I know.He is such a good human,somebody like him is so rare.He knows everything about me,and instead of leaving he never thought of leaving.I think without him I wouldn't be alive anymore.He can make me cry,because he is so important for me and I am always scared to lose him.But if we are together I am always happy,it feels like not having depression.He helps me to survive this nightmare.I need him so much.I already miss him after one day,this is the best sign that he is so important.We are so good firends,best friends and in some points more.Thanks for everything!
A