Coming home from a long day at work and not having the energy to work on writing projects feels like

My best friend looked at me one day and said, "hey. It's always just the two of us hanging out. Like, always. That doesn't bother you, does it?"

I shook my head and said, "no."

"Seriously?" His eyebrows went up, like he didn't quite believe me. "Haven't you ever wanted a girlfriend, or something like that?"

"No." I shrugged. "Never really even thought about it much. Have you?"

He shrugged, too, and his eyes slid off me. He looked out the window at the cars below us on the street, and I looked, too. I always wonder, in the back of my mind, where all those cars are driving to in the middle of the day while we're stuck inside.

"Do you have any plans for this weekend?"

"No."

"Let's go on a trip somewhere, then," he said, looking back at me. "We can take the bike. Let's just get away for a little while. What do you think of that?"

I thought it was fine, and I said so.

I met him on Saturday and got on the back of his bike, and we drove for a couple hours. We stopped for gas, once, and we bought some food there, too. Then we kept going.

We eventually ended up in a deserted alleyway in some place just too big to be called a town, and just too small to be called a city. We sat by a streetlight and ate our food, and just talked. Just the two of us, a couple hours away from anyone else who's ever known us.

My best friend put his hand on my shoulder and spun me around and kissed me in that alleyway, and I kissed him back.

I kissed him right back.

Imagine being so nosy of a person that not only do you make investigative journalism your career, but you start using super secret spy technology just to get better dirt on celebrities, so you can write salacious tell-all biographies and expose everybody's darkest secrets in your gossip magazine.

One day you strike gold by getting close to an up-and-coming teen sensation, and of course you're doing your spy thing, following him around all the time and learning as much about his private life as you can. Except in the process, his 14 yo friend ends up figuring out what you've been doing, catches you in the act, and threatens to report you to the authorities if you don't leave the kid alone. You could face some pretty serious consequences for the spy tech shit alone so you reluctantly agree to comply, and she eventually drops the matter.

As a result, you don't actually face any consequences, and you don't learn your lesson.

Fast forward a couple years. Both that kid you were reporting on and the girl who caught you end up marrying into the same semi-well-known family in the area. It's like they're practically begging for publicity. You stay mostly out of it for a while but then comes your big chance- you get invited to be one of the commentators for the women's FIFA finals and they're all going to be there because what's-his-face's wife is one of the players.

Obviously you spend most of your time on the sidelines ignoring the game in favor of watching that family through your binoculars, making your typical stream-of-consciousness, over-the-top-sensationalized comments about everything you see, until eventually that guy's wife comes hurtling towards you, elbows you in the chest in the process of getting the ball back under her feet, then passes it off to one of her teammates and runs back into the thick of the action as if nothing ever happened. You get the wind knocked out of you on live television, and nobody even cries foul on your behalf. Imagine that.

Cause that's basically what happened to Rita Skeeter.

Long time no fic! Here's a post-canon Bleach story about zanpakuto, because they're my FAVORITE

One of those scenes where one character is like being held captive, and another character starts getting all up in their face, so they spit at them, but INSTEAD it's a character with a tooth gap shooting water directly into their eye like an archerfish. Is that anything

Davekat storytime! Come get your Davekat storytime, everyone!

Telemachus in book 1 expressing random doubt in his parents and Nestor in book 3 saying that he's never seen a god show so much open affection as Athena showed for Odysseus... Listen I know it makes no sense whatsoever for Athena to be Telemachus' real mother but that doesn't stop me from Thinking About It

"Since we're all together for the night," Bruce said loudly over the Wayne family dinner table chatter, "there's an idea I'd like to pitch to you all."

"Shoot," Dick invited, gesturing with his fork.

"What would you say if I said I was thinking about taking a family vacation this summer?"

"Bruce, my man," Oliver said loudly as he entered the Watchtower's cafeteria, "today would be a good day to delete your social media apps for a little while. Take a break, come back in a few months or so."

Bruce sighed. "What is it now?"

"Nnnnnnothing. Don't worry about it."

"Really," Barry added, seeing that Bruce was unconvinced, "it's nothing important. Just some random person stirring up drama."

"Hang on, you don't have a guy who handles that stuff for you, do you?" Hal asked. "Like a secretary, or something?"

"Wayne Enterprises has a social media team. Personally, I have Tim, who makes it his business to intervene on my behalf more often than not."

"Well, tell him to delete his socials for a while, too."

"It's just drama, right? Nothing either of us haven't seen before, I'm sure."

"Uhhh," Barry said, exchanging a nervous glance with Oliver, "well, this one's going kinda viral. Any kind of statement on your part would probably make it worse rather than better."

"Barry, I promise, I've been 'viral' lots of times in my life. You're probably worrying too much."

"Look, I'll tell you if you want to know," Oliver said. "I'll do it. Are you really sure you want to know? Are you really, really-"

"Oliver."

"Alright, fine. Have it your way. Earlier today, somebody posted, and I quote: 'billionaire playboy' is just a nice way of saying that Bruce Wayne is a SLUT."

This is probably one of the top 3 funniest comments anyone's ever left on my writing