Hey all! I got a request to make a masterpost of my fake banter, so here you go! Not too many right now but I do intend to keep this post pinned and update it with new banters as I write them. May eventually make categories but don’t think it’s necessary ATM
Fake Banter Requests are OPEN
Enjoy!
My man is fighting for his life
A compilation of Manfred during the final battle.
Everyone is so serious and stoic, then tensely sneaking around... while Manfred just rattles his bones along to the best of his abilities.
Bonus video: Manfred being a helpful little egg during the fight against the Venatori. The startled tiny "ah!" one of them lets out when Manfred jumps onto him is priceless.
ohhhyhhhmygod oghmygod ohmyfod
I am not kidding BioWare owes me compensation for Lucanis’ little nose scrunch and whispered “At least I know I’m doing it” during that infamous wall lean scene. It pops into my head at random and renders me incomprehensible. It genuinely interrupts my day to day life. Why does his voice sound like that. Why’d his face do that. HE JUST WALKS AWAY????
Taash is a bad influence on The Baby (Manfred) and Emmrich will not let that stand
Screenshot redraw
Scenes I really wish I'd gotten at a Certain Point tm Marra went through her whole life never really letting fear stop her from doing anything. To be truly afraid, truly hopeless, helpless for a real amount of time, facing multiple realities she had put off broke a decades thick damn and she had no time to process it, so I'll make her a little time.
Concept for the main Lighthouse table. This is the place where the crew is getting together to discuss latest events and plan ahead.
"Emmrich just being fancy" asdf
rook is going for a midnight snack
Hey guys! Here’s my opinion on the likelihood of certain characters returning in Dreadwolf. Please assume this counts potential DLCs and cameos, this is not a ranking of their role in the story just what I think the chance of them physically appearing on screen at some point is. Remember that I’m Just A Guy going off the same info as you and you may or may not agree
Confirmed (Characters whose appearances have been EXPLICITLY confirmed through trailers and promos)
Essentially Confirmed (Characters who have been heavily teased through promo and past content)
Very Likely (Characters whose return makes narrative sense aka if these characters aren’t there I will be annoyed)
Wiggly Hand Gestures (concept art featured a character that looked sorta like them)
I’ll Be Surprised (probably not but stranger things have happened)
We’re Never Seeing These Characters Again (Characters BioWare considers “complete” and REALLY doesn’t want you to ask about aka you MIGHT get a letter)
Dug out this gem from back in 2022. I was like 40% right in the end!
Okay but saying your media literacy isn’t bad and it’s Veilguard that’s the problem and then writing a whole essay about what a terrible protagonist Rook is, using no capitalization mind you, because they caused a double blight and are never held accountable, is actually wild behavior. That’s not good analysis it’s ranting.
Oh and it’s fun watching bigots latch onto your “essays” (you say essay I say incoherent rambling holy shit learn how to edit) because they need any excuse to shout “writing bad” because they turned VG into part of the culture war but you don’t care. Your bad media literacy is actively causing harm it’s that bad.
Rook didn’t let the Evanuris out. Solas did when he stabbed and killed his friend. He’s a liar. This isn’t my interpretation it’s the plot.
For like the 100th time critique Veilguard all you want just stop sucking at it so hard.
I think one of the funniest Veilguard complaints that I've seen people say genuinely ruins the game for them is "Why is Bellara, a mage, fighting with a BOW"
My guys. There is literally no reason mages can't use regular weapons. At all. The ability to shoot fire does not make you allergic to swords. It makes sense why the Chantry wouldn't teach circle mages to fight with martial weapons (makes them too scary), but not only is Veilguard determined not to talk about the circle, Bellara's DALISH
Why WOULDN'T Dalish mages know how to use a bow?? Why WOULDN'T they integrate it into their magic use?? Dalish from the Chargers already hinted at this!
The fact that Veilguard gave us a mage using a cool new technique for her magic that some people had even been asking for and a not-insubstantial part of the fandom got mad because it's not like the past games is hilarious. Not giving one thought to how cool a mage with a bow is. It's sorta the perfect analogy for critique of this game as a whole
Also one last thing about Davrook kids
I imagine Davrin tries to coach my poor Rook through the birth despite having absolutely no knowledge about how birth works. This is Mr. “Try To Keep Up!” He HAS to feel useful in these situations so he’s here telling her to breathe while she’s already breathing and push before she’s even fully dilated until she finally just turns to him and says:
“Shut the fuck up. I love you. I love you so much. Shut the FUCK up”
(Note: I imagine Uncle Eldrin is the one actually delivering the baby and he says nothing. He fully allows Davrin to put himself into this position. He’s deeply entertained)
say what you want about solas but you have to respect that he's a girl's girl. he's like one of those dogs that growls at all men and will only snuggle with women. elgar'nan? he's never despised anything to the core of his being more than that guy. falon'din? he can't help himself but to spill the tea about that psychopath. and yet mythal? even with all their weird and twisted history? she's an old friend. he hisses at elgar'nan for even deigning to speak her name. he calls ghilan'nain 'brilliant' and 'sensitive' even though she's always been transparent about the fact she thinks the blight is Good Actually. the only remark he has about andruil out of everything he could've said is that she's the god of sacrifice. sacrifice, king? i think that might be putting it mildly. i just fucking love that he turns into a chest-beating idiot in front of any man but he's for sure cried in front of every woman he's ever known
Can you imagine how tough it was for Taash when Rook and Lucanis were both in their want but no touching stage of their relationship? Both of them smelling of want around each other, but they don’t do anything about it, just stinking up the place for Taash. Then the almost kiss happens and the smells just get more intense. I’m sure they wanted to shake the pair multiple times to just do something. Like poor Taash would be minding their own business talking to Lucanis and then the smell of want is everywhere because Rook just entered the kitchen.
