This is a direct threat

me as an outlaw: your affection, hand it over >:(

me *sobbing so hard that my gun is shaking*: p-please partner... just hand over a bit of affection... i’m askin’ you real kindly

Tumblr Code.

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: ”17 cocks”

always reblog tumblr identification

this post makes me want to gouge my eyes out

im laughins so hard who changed it

This is the funniest thing I've seen all day.

i know this please help me

if you seek skeek at my slorse you hate me at my worst

HOW THE FUCK DOES THE SYAING GO

cool news i think i have some thing wrong with me

it happened again

The names Practice

Mal Practice

Nice to meet you Dr. Practice, could you please tell me what’s wrong with my son :)

He needs surgery on all of his bones

Very well, here is my credit card :)

I accept no payment I do this because I love it

thief..

normal halloween fantasy world w/ vampires & monsters & all that good jazz but the skeletons are just normal people who happen to be deceased but stuck around

like ghosts get the option to stay w/ their corpses instead of passing on so now everyone’s family is made up of like 3 living generations and your great-aunt Bernadine

sometimes family members die but decides to like. stick around. there’s a polite period of seclusion while their corpse goes through the decaying process, bc of hygiene reasons. then once the bits and pieces fall away you get a nice clean skeleton haunted by the un-aging spirit of a family member. and it’s not like they’re another mouth to feed, so they just spent their afterlife being passed around by relatives and offering free babysitting i guess

But, you know, you can technically speed up the decaying process. I could go feed a big ass murder of crows. And then have a nice bleach bath to get rid of the itty-bitty bits that got stuck. And then go to a bone engraver to get very unique designs, to make sure its hard to fake my identity. And also to be a really cool tattooed skeleton. I’d get back to my family after a week tops. The future grandchildren could color in my cool tattoos.

Fuck you, now I want to be a cool ghost skeleton. And I can’t. Fuck you

1. everything about this comment is good and right, catch me laying my skeleton out to feed the birds

2. i completely FORGOT bones could be CARVED, and for that i am shamed

gonna be the most badass skeleton babysitter 

if you were a bare skeleton anyway I bet you could just Meccano in spare bits of unoccupied bone wanna be a bone centaur? find an unhaunted horse skeleton & stretch your legs

art prompt: BONE CENTAUR

I know your whole shtick is cursed-content but I couldn’t help but make something a little wholesome. An elderly couple, Liam (the skeleton) and Rose (the little old lady). Liam passed away before Rose, but he chose to stick around and take care of her since they live alone.

oh my bleeding goodness i love it

“Its great great great grandpa’s turn to take care of the kids.”

This post gave me a surge of inspiration so here ya go. The big sis is painting a dragon on her old man’s arm, while the little bro is placing a flower crown on his head. Sorry its a bit blurry.

oh my goodness. i would absolutely love to see this in color if anyone is interested

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses​ I never wanna do bones again with so many details, you’ve killed me you damn yogurt of hell, but this helped break through a bit of a art block so hindsight thank you XD

oh my gosh the DETAILS

@supersmashwolves

EXCUSE ME WHY

and yes this applies to anyone who simps for him too

found the funniest Tiktok of 2021 (so far)

I was going to rewatch 1931 Dracula again tonight and just as I turned it on a BAT started flying around at my window and wouldn’t go away and I’ve never seen a bat at my house before and let me tell you I’ve been so gay touched starved this quarantine I was about ready to risk letting a wild bat in my room if it meant it could possibly be one tall, Sexy vampire

Ah rabies

But what if the bat was from my secret gay vampire admirer

@spiritspodcast

Tolkien in this essay i’m reading: no good fantasy story should have street lamps in it, it would ruin the escapism factor by introducing something so mundane

c.s lewis, writing narnia: lol wanna fucking bet

Now YouTube has a habit of recommending me the weirdest stuff recently, but today i got this on my recommendations

And about halfway through listening to this, I went and read the comments, literally I could not stop reading I was there for hours, here are some of my favorites

First off, Oliviaalee’s channel is a godsend for writing. My favorites right now are:

Give them a try here

Also…honorable mention

@perditious

Hedge funds shorted more than 100% of all shares of gamestop, to do this that means they had to sell more shares than actually existed.

The hedge funds never actually owned these shares to begin with because they were short selling so they never actually paid for them.

Redditors saw this and decided to buy up all these shorted shares to gamestop a company that wasnt failing that the hedge funds would then be forced to buy back as they never actually owned the shares.

The beauty of this is if you knew what to look for you could’ve seen this coming too. It isn’t mystical, it isn’t magic. They made these billionaires pay back more than what they basically stole by being greedy, this is a good thing.

Let me explain a bit

rich hedge funds have the ability to sell stocks they havent paid for yet that other people actually own and then pay for them after a certain amount of time. they can sell these stocks trade them whatever but they will eventually have to buy them back.

So they shorted gamestop shares from 20 dollars all the way down to 3 dollars, meaning they borrowed shares to then massively sell.

they sold shares at like 20 dollars and then 18, etc. and because when investors see massive amounts of shares being sold they get nervous and then sell their shares which drives the price of the stock ever further down.

so they took something worth 20 that they sold for 20 dollars and all its downward prices and instead of paying for it at $3 dollars they thought theyd CONTINUE to short the market, meaning they kept driving the prices down because apparently this obscene amount of money wasnt good enough.

Redditors who dont say the stock market is magic and mystical astrology saw this very obvious evidence that these hedge funds would be forced to buy back all these fucking gamestop shares and decided to drive the price of these shares up knowing that the hedge funds would then be forced to buy back the shares they have yet to pay for at increasingly wild prices.

what they were looking for was over 100% of all stocks shorted on a company that wasnt even failing or in complete disarray

they used this knowledge to bring stock that was 20 dollars brought down to $3 all the way back up to $140

the hedge funds still have to pay for all of those shares they never technically even owned in the first place which these redditors knew so they held onto these stocks they bought in a company whose shares were oversold.

INSTEAD of acknowledging this they decided to have media campaigns lie and make the stock market look even more mystical and crazy to people who dont know shit about finance so that your average folks wouldnt catch them in the act of just getting a fucking 2 billion dollar bailout for being greedy fucking pieces of shit.

They also dont want your average person to KNOW they do this shit especially when they drive shares so deep into the ground ($3)

TL;DR: Every time you call the stock market magic and mystical and ooo makes no sense, you pretty much allow these motherfuckers to get away with robbery of the average person (given a government bailout is paying for this)

Understanding how these things happen and knowing what to look for allows people to work together and not only stop it but rob back from the billionaires when they pull this shit.

my point about financial illiteracy isnt to make anyone feel bad it’s more saying you shouldnt repeat the myth that these things dont make any sense especially when something like this happens because very set laws and rules allowed for this to happen and mystifying that only benefits hedge funds who dont want people catching them doing this.

the real TL;DR

thank you u/Scheebs_ for explaining this like i’m five years old

I honestly still don’t understand how this works but the fact that it’s working and making hedge fund managers upset is gold.