mouthporn.net
#medieval – @hermajestyschimera on Tumblr
Avatar

Antlers of Iron

@hermajestyschimera / hermajestyschimera.tumblr.com

Illustration, graphic design, fashion, dank memes. Some Toonami liveblogging spam on Saturday nights (US). Occasional posts on politics.
Avatar

The best notes written in manuscripts by medieval monks

Colophon: a statement at the end of a book containing the scribe or owner’s name, date of completion, or bitching about how hard it is to write a book in the dark ages

  • Oh, my hand
  • The parchment is very hairy
  • Thank God it will soon be dark
  • St. Patrick of Armagh, deliver me from writing
  • Now I’ve written the whole thing; for Christ’s sake give me a drink
  • Oh d fuckin abbot
  • Massive hangover
  • Whoever translated these Gospels did a very poor job
  • Cursed be the pesty cat that urinated over this book during the night
  • If someone else would like such a handsome book, come and look me up in Paris, across from the Notre Dame cathedral
  • I shall remember, O Christ, that I am writing of Thee, because I am wrecked today
  • Do not reproach me concerning the letters, the ink is bad and the parchment scanty and the day is dark
  • 11 golden letters, 8 shilling each; 700 letters with double shafts, 7 shilling for each hundred; and 35 quires of text, each 16 leaves, at 3 shilling each. For such an amount I won’t write again
  • Here ends the second part of the title work of Brother Thomas Aquinas of the Dominican Order; very long, very verbose; and very tedious for the scribe; thank God, thank God, and again thank God
  • If anyone take away this book, let him die the death, let him be fried in a pan; let the falling sickness and fever seize him; let him be broken on the wheel, and hanged. Amen
Avatar

Have you ever wondered what rabbits did in their spare time? According to Ms. Codex 724, a 13C Vulgate Bible from Arras, they seem to keep themselves quite busy. On 172v it sprints up the decorated border while dressed in a monk’s robe, on 280v it blows a horn, on 209v it pushes a plow, and on 313v it plays the cymbals. That’s a pretty full schedule.

Manuscript description and digital images can be found here at OPenn.

Avatar
thegetty

If your bunny pretends it can’t play the horn, cymbals or work in the garden, here’s proof it’s lying to you.

Avatar

Two Medieval Monks Invent Bestiaries

By Mallory Ortberg on The Toast

MONK #1: do birds have meetings MONK #2: absolutely they have a Meeting Hat and everything MONK #1: what do they have meetings about MONK #2: mostly who gets to wear the meeting hat

MONK #1: do human women sleep in beds or– MONK #2: no that’s dogs you’re thinking of MONK #1: right right

MONK #1: what part of the knight do fish go on MONK #2: the head MONK #1: thanks MONK #2: oh absolutely no problem at all MONK #1: both lying flatwise across the head, or…? MONK #2: no one on each side like ears MONK #1: ok great

MONK #1: so when a dog and a bird make out MONK #2: right MONK #1: it’s usually the bird that’s on top right? MONK #2: yeah usually MONK #1: great

MONK #1: hey is it owls or people that live in caves and build fires? MONK #2: owls

MONK #1: hey roughly what size are sparrows MONK #2: mm it kind of depends MONK #1: like AS big as a tree or not quite as big as a tree? MONK #2: oh pretty much the same size as a tree

MONK #1: can cows sail boats? MONK #2: hahaha no common misconception they have to put wheels on the boat and roll it over land

MONK #1: what do birds eat MONK #2: other birds mostly MONK #1: like different kinds of birds, or something else MONK #2: no birds only eat exactly the same kind of birds that they are

MONK #1: what kind of bird tucks people into bed at night usually I mean MONK #2: any bird any kind of walking bird MONK #1: and when it tucks you in, people usually look… MONK #2: incredibly worried it’s incredibly worrying when the bedbird tucks you in

MONK #1: ugh sorry to bother you again MONK #2: no no its fine this is what i’m here for what is it MONK #1: what part of a goat is a snail again like the front end or the back end MONK #2: what part do you feel like should be the snail part MONK #1: the back part? MONK #2: you shouldnt doubt yourself you know more about goats than you give yourself credit for

image

MONK #1: what usually rides horses like people or– MONK #2: fire

Avatar
effington

Tbh this is the funniest post on this dumb website

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net