Chiedo scusa, sono ancora un re

Attention Whale Weekly fans: I saw some people that thought “white whales” were fictional but they are Not, and I’m not just talking about belugas. Albinism and leucistism has been recorded in over 20 species of cetacean! The most famous albino whale is a humpback named Migaloo. Look at this large impressive man!

There are also two more albino humpbacks alive currently, including a baby that we think may be Migaloo’s spawn.

There are also multiple albino orcas and dolphins, some in captivity and some in the wild.

And we recently found a white sperm whale. Just a lil baby. Look at the small man;

A teeny tiny Moby Dick. He will grow into a legendary beast someday just like his famous predecessor. I can feel it.

I think Ishmael Mobydick would really flip out if he learned how sperm whales sleep

#elaborate?

Ok

If Herman Melville knew this we'd have a whole chapter about the pillars of damnation

Me: time to catch up on some classic literature

Ishmael: in this chapter I am going to explain why whales would look stupid if they had noses

GERARD DUBOIS Moby Dick

this is legendary because you as you go you see the photo itself and you’re “oh this is some symbolic / surrealist art” and then the TITLE hits you like a shotgun shell

I feel I should mention for some readers that Ishmael IS supposed to sound kinda stupid here. Because the whole book is about the folly of man taking on God/Nature. The whaling industry is a vessel for that folly.

queequeg leaving a yelp review of the spouter inn like “great customer service, the room came with a complimentary husband”

Dracula Daily first email:

Vs Whale Weekly Second Email

me at the grocery store: The act of paying is perhaps the most uncomfortable infliction that the two orchard thieves entailed upon us.

me when i receive my paycheck: But being paid,—what will compare with it? The urbane activity with which a man receives money is really marvellous, considering that we so earnestly believe money to be the root of all earthly ills, and that on no account can a monied man enter heaven. Ah! how cheerfully we consign ourselves to perdition!

Virgin Jonathan: Y’all ever heard of paprika? Paprika’s pretty cool

Chad Ishmael: Y’ALL MOTHERFUCKERS GOT MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS??? GOT HEART DISEASE?????? TRY THE FUCKIN SEA, BITCHES