Trying to write the first chapter of Tearing Tides rn (needed to clear my head a bit to be able to properly focus on Crimson Redux) and I’m having a hell of a time trawling through the endless web of articles and pages about the Scythians.
I feel like the general zeitgeist of the majority of my ships (both fanfic and original) can be explained by the fact that I read both Call Me By Your Name and the Song of Achilles as a tiny tot and both irreversibly changed my brain chemistry
Like, sorry, my babies, but my angst-loving heart says that you need to suffer for your love.
Oh, and the fact that Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens fucked me up the first time I heard it, and I don’t think I ever quite recovered
I love and hate reading and watching romance fics that arent contained to just the main pairing, because on one hand, they’re so cute, but on the other hand, I am so socially awkward that imagining myself in the characters’ shoes makes me want to puke
Hm, this character is a YouTuber who makes video essays, how do I depict hi-
writes an entire two thousand word video essay on the nature of truth and the role it plays in politics because I hate myself
Just listened to Chappell Roan’s Good Luck Babe (great song btw) and this idea popped into my head.
The characters depicted are from my upcoming story Crimson Redux, and its eventual unnamed prequel book. This story, however, is non-canonical, though it shares some elements with the canon
Being in that weird limbo state where you're so deep into your writing that you can think of basically nothing but your characters and your world, but also haven't yet published anything is so painful cause like, I wanna talk so badly about my wonderful little scrunklies but also without context I know I'll come off like a babbling madman
Writing is so painful because on the other hand putting these characters through hell is necessary for character development and plot progression, but on the other hand, I just want to let them be happy and together off in a cottage somewhere , and it is HURTING ME to do this to them
One thing I love about my story is that this person
Is the same person as this person
Who is the same person as this person
(Feat: my shit writing)
Writing sex has many different flavors, up to and including - these people are literally melding into one holy being, cannibalism but make it sexy, giving going at it like animals a whole new meaning, and Ordinary Sex Scene
Pro tip : if your sex scene comes across like the two characters are seconds away from eating each other, you’re doing something right. Although far be it for me to tell you how you take your sex scenes
God I love asshole protagonists with a softer side that they only show to certain people. Gotta be one of my favourite tropes fr fr
So like, have y’all ever heard of the Rise Up series ?
Apparently it’s a joint collaboration between Taylor Saracen and Helix Studios - yes, that Helix - about the lives of their porn stars.
I have no idea if they’re real stories or made up, and I haven’t even read that much of the sample I picked up (Electric Soul) yet, but they seem… like… really good ? Like Tumblr-would-should-eat-this-up good. Angst and coming-of-age down beautifully with humor to boot
Which made it even more surprising that no one’s talking about it ? Like did something happen ? Did Taylor Saracen do something wrong ?
I think it’s just sad that there’s essentially very little ways to get this - and I have no doubt that that is at least partially because of it’s unpopularity
It’s 17.99 on Amazon. Cheaper on Kindle by almost ten bucks, but still. Do you know how much that is in the currency of my country ? 1760
On Goodreads, the series are His Own Way Out, about pornstar Blake Mitchell, Twink about Kyle Ross, and Electric Soul about Joey Mills. The all-time high is 120 ratings on HOWO
There are 30 on Twink, and 36 on ES
That’s… tiny. Especially when you consider the fact that a book published THIS MONTH has over two hundred.
These books are six years old. No doubt the reason for their unpopularity is the fact that a) they’re based on pornstars, and B) they are ludicrously expensive
Really, it’s just… a shame
My brain just handed me an amazing line in a dream, and now I'm desperately trying to work backwards from there to try and figure out what the story it came from was
The biggest problem with being a creator is that you feel like you’re wasting time whenever you’re not actively in the process of creating
More worldbuilding about my story (Crimson Redux) - the Manifestations
So, remember how my world had three gods -Dysthymia, god of psychological aspects, Dysphoria, god of visceral existence, and Alexithymia, god of emotions and indulgences ?
Well, while the gods themselves are sequestered away in a border-reality (though they can be brought into our reality via the spilling of Host-blood and a very specific ritual), they can express themselves into our world in three ways - those being Hosts, Manifestations, and Artifacts
A Host occurs when a god decides to show itself through a human being, essentially creating a human to act as a pseudo-vessel of its will, like an extraneous limb. Generally, these Hosts tend to have their own free will, which may or may not clash with the god’s (though most of the gods don’t really have their own will, save for Dysthymia). These Hosts have authority over all powers of the gods, though they tend to specialise in singular aspects, if only because it is downright impossible for a human body to bear the full brunt of divinity
An Artifact occurs when a crack in reality appears, usually centered around an OOP, an Object of Power. These Artifacts generally tend to lack their own will (save for Dysthymia’s, which can express Dysthymia’s will through itself) and generally grant their wearer immense power, though with a catch. They can also be used to greatly amplify a Host’s strength, along with the strength of the divine bond
A Manifestation, which is what we’ll be focusing on today, is when a god presents itself in a manner deemed bestial or creature-like. More animal, less human. Generally, these beasts are linked only tangentially to their gods, and, with the exception of Paris, Dysthymia’s Manifestation, tend to be extremely obedient to the Hosts
The Manifestations include :
Circe, the Manifestation of Alexithymia : this Manifestation appears in large water bodies as a vast spider-crab-looking creature, with its back and eyes poking out of the surface of the water, even as its immense legs stretch all the way to the bed of whatever body of water it appears in. Notably, its back is disguised almost perfectly as a lush, rocky-looking island, its eyes acting as two glittering seashells on the island’s sandy “beach”.
It feeds by drawing power from Alexithymia’s Desire aspect, as once its victim is within a certain range, it can create an image of whatever they desire on its rocky, islandlike back, in an attempt to lure them in. Should they not fall for it, however, it also has the ability to, as a last resort, project these images directly into the victim’s mind
Then, when they start sailing closer to the island, whether it be out of curiosity or because they’ve fallen into Circe’s trap, its crab like head, set at the end of trunklike stalk, snaps out, swordblade mandibles closing around the victim’s vessel and swallowing them whole
Paris, the Manifestation of Dysthymia : This creature hides itself in forests, its seven stalklike necks the perfect girth to be disguised as tree trunks
Appearing as a strange creature with pale-silver, clammy skin, it has the abdomen of a giant spider, holding itself up on thirteen sharp-edged legs that are easily disguised as yet more tree trunks. However, instead of a thorax, from its end protrude seven stalklike necks, each one topped with a giant bald human head, eyes wide and white, mouths stretched into painful-looking rictus grins
It feeds by luring people into its forests, usually by producing an entrancing tune by rubbing the coarse skin of its necks against its abdomen. Once a - preferably human - victim has been lured close enough, one of its heads snaps out and devours it
Now comes the real twist. Drawing power from the Shapeshifter aspect of Dysthymia, the head that devoured the human can now detach from the main body and transform into a near-perfect replica of said human (it can’t be actually perfect, because, according to the rules of the world, only a human can transform into a perfect human). It now usually goes back to that person’s home and attempts to integrate itself into their family, eventually luring them all out to be eaten by Paris. Seven such forms can exist at one time
Scylla, the Manifestation of Dysphoria - This creatures dwells in oceans, its vast, serpentine form too big to be held by any lesser type of water body
It is described as so big it cannot be seen at once, its grey-blue scales blending perfectly in with the murky oceanwater it calls home. In addition to its vast coils, it also bears a hundred heads, twenty of them sprouting, traditionally, from the end of its undulating body, though the other eighty are scattered across its form, jutting erratically out from random parts of its vast coils. Its eyes are described as “larger in diameter than a small dinghy” and its teeth look like “forests of sharp, silver blades”. A constant storm of seawater pours from its black, forked tongues, even when it’s not in the sea
Notably, its powers are more brutish than its fellows. It’s connection to Dysphoria’s The Deep aspect grants it macrohydrokinesis, the ability to move, summon and shape vast quantities of water, in any form, up to and including cloud formations and glaciers
Comment if you wanna hear about the Hosts and the Artifacts !!
God, being the protagonist of my story (Crimson Redux) is literal hell because imagine having a dad who’s a serial killer only to find out that no, actually he’s more of a monster hunter, before then finding out that no, he serial killed on the side too actually, and then finding out that he used to work for your best friend.
And if that wasn’t enough, imagine finding out that not only did your dad and best friend fuck while your dad worked for him, not only was your friend the dom, but the earring your dad wears all the time is actually one of your friend’s teeth, and the reason he’s never taken it off is that it’s hoop has been welded shut.
Oh, and if all that somehow wasn’t enough, imagine finding out that your dad was into pup play.
Which you really should have seen coming, given the wolf’s-head-earring welded to his other ear, but oh well
Good god. Poor James
More about my story (Crimson Redux)
“Two Birds", is SUCH a SpringFang-coded songs, I swear it's like away like Regina Spektor reached across aeons to pluck the idea out of my head
Like, "I'll believe it all, I won't let go of your hand", for Damian and Serenity vowing to stay loyal to each other ? That night in the green meadow, the River of Heaven making its way across the black fabric of the sky above them, its stars coating them with an unearthly radiance. "Us till the end of the line" ?
"I'm tired" for after Serenity has his epiphany ? When he finally, painfully, decides to leave the Carneficina ? To separate himself from Fang, once and all, breaking the oath they took so many years. "One more or one less, nobody's worried", him reassuring Damian that no one will miss him after he leaves ? That the Carneficina will continue on without him ? Only for Damian to reply with "I will" ?
"But one's never going to let go of that wire", reflecting how entrenched Damian is in his violence and madness ? How he's never going to be able to follow Serenity out into the light and peace, because of how deeply scarred he is ? And Serenity knows that, knows that leaving the violence and madness of the Carneficina behind him is tantamount to abandoning him ? And leaves, anyways ?
God, I am so normal about these two, I swear
Just the fact that Serenity leaving is a desperately -needed act of self-preservation on his part, and that had he stayed, the violent terror of the Carneficina would have no doubt broken him down to nothing in due time
But it’s still a tragedy, because Damian losing Serenity means losing one of the few things in existence that anchored him to something other than madness and death
It means that he’ll have to stop himself from spiralling into madness alone - that he’ll be the only one who would even CARE, because most of the Carneficina see him as mad already - with only the memories of Serenity to sustain him
And to Serenity, Damian was the first person outside of his sister to show him unconditional love and kindness. Damian was the one that proved to him that he COULD be desired, that he was WORTHY of love
Leaving him isn’t an easy decision for Serenity by any means. It’s akin to pulling out a splinter - it’s more painful than just leaving it there would be, but leaving it there would cause more harm in the long term
Fun fact - the night they parted was a cloudy one. You know what that means ? It means that while the River of Heaven was right there, above their heads, neither of them could see it. And the dark, stormy clouds ensured that even if they looked for it, they couldn’t find it
More about my story (Crimson Redux)
“Two Birds", is SUCH a SpringFang-coded songs, I swear it's like away like Regina Spektor reached across aeons to pluck the idea out of my head
Like, "I'll believe it all, I won't let go of your hand", for Damian and Serenity vowing to stay loyal to each other ? That night in the green meadow, the River of Heaven making its way across the black fabric of the sky above them, its stars coating them with an unearthly radiance. "Us till the end of the line" ?
"I'm tired" for after Serenity has his epiphany ? When he finally, painfully, decides to leave the Carneficina ? To separate himself from Fang, once and all, breaking the oath they took so many years. "One more or one less, nobody's worried", him reassuring Damian that no one will miss him after he leaves ? That the Carneficina will continue on without him ? Only for Damian to reply with "I will" ?
"But one's never going to let go of that wire", reflecting how entrenched Damian is in his violence and madness ? How he's never going to be able to follow Serenity out into the light and peace, because of how deeply scarred he is ? And Serenity knows that, knows that leaving the violence and madness of the Carneficina behind him is tantamount to abandoning him ? And leaves, anyways ?
God, I am so normal about these two, I swear