Welcome to my thoughts

I feel like the general zeitgeist of the majority of my ships (both fanfic and original) can be explained by the fact that I read both Call Me By Your Name and the Song of Achilles as a tiny tot and both irreversibly changed my brain chemistry

Like, sorry, my babies, but my angst-loving heart says that you need to suffer for your love.

Oh, and the fact that Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens fucked me up the first time I heard it, and I don’t think I ever quite recovered

Had a dream that Epic had an unfinished song called Love Remains in which the ghost of Achilles tells Odysseus that over the years he has been dead, all the desire for honour and glory he once held close had faded away, and the only thing that remained was the love of Patroclus, and I kind of wish I was a better songwriter because damn

Patrochilles really just fits with every ship imaginable huh

My headcanon is that Nico is the first person to give Chiron a hug since Achilles all those years ago

I wonder if Achilles and Patroclus are down in the Underworld somewhere, just massively relieved that people have finally stopped trying to censor their relationship

Like I can just imagine what their reaction to TSOA would’ve been - not exactly accurate, but a step in the right direction !! Better than that slop movie that came out a little while ago anyways !!

You ever wonder if Odysseus regretted bringing Achilles and Patroclus into the war ? If he ever sat awake at night, and wondered what would have happened if he had never set foot on Skyros ?

If he ever looked at his own son, grown now, a man, and saw Achilles and Patroclus as they were, that fateful day ? Or as they now lie, cold and dead ?

Maybe after Telemachus has a son, he lays him on his bent knee - old and knobbly now, in a way Achilles and Patroclus never got to be, thanks to him - as his own grandfather did to him when he was a child, and named him Homer, a pledge, an unspoken oath. to two long-dead boys.

Your fame is hard-bought. I will ensure you get it. I will tell this boy your story - I will tell him every last detail. And he will ensure the world will never forget the greatest of the Greeks - Aristos Achaion - and his lover Achilles

I think the tragedy of Achilles and Patroclus becomes even more poignant when you remember Phoinix survives the war.

Imagine being Phoinix, aged and wise, and having to know that this boy you raised alongside your prince died because of what you told him. Having to realize that your beloved prince's broken, ruined state was because of your advice.

And then watching him die - watching him crave death as a starving man craves food - and having to watch as his son, the final, fragile remnants of your beloved ward, enters the battle that took his father, his animal brutality and cruelty

I think the fact that retellings of Greek Mythology are getting more popular is amazing, and I hope it inspires more adaptions of less well-known myths, because, frankly, I'm getting sick of the same three or four myths being used as representations of all Greek mythography

In the meantime, if you're looking for a good musical adaptation of the Iliad, allow me to direct you to the frankly underappreciated play - Aristos : The Musical

If you liked TSOA, you'll love it

Check it out on Youtube here

And on Tumblr here : https://www.tumblr.com/aristosmusical

The entire Greek camp was actually having sex with each other throughout the events of the Iliad. Homer told me so in a dream

“We want more unambiguously evil characters !!”Babe you can’t even handle the morally grey characters you HAVE

I feel like some character fans need to understand that liking a character doesn't require excusing or downplaying all their sins. You can love morally gray characters - fuck, you can love objectively evil characters.

No one's stopping you

Sometimes, a guy's just an asshole. And sometimes, we just love him anyways.

Not boyfriend or girlfriend but secret third thing (you are the other half of my soul. There is no “me” without a “you” to counterbalance it. I am your inverso, and you are mine. Our existences are wholly dependent on each other. I follow where you lead, and you cannot move forward without me there. We need each other)

Hey hot stuff, how bout we go back to your place and I can info-dump mythography, history and linguistics to you while you pretend to listen ?

TMH Achilles, mindlessly scrolling through his YouTube feed - Hey who’s this cute guy with barely any followers ?

TMH Patroclus - (performs a beautiful rendition of Can’t Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley)

TMH Achilles -

(A few minutes later)

TMH Peleus, who has been trying, unsuccessfully, to do his work as his son stares at him moodily from a corner of his room - Achilles, what is it ?

TMH Achilles, completely seriously - Father, I wish to get married

So, I was thinking - it seems unfair that I just keep all info on my projects to myself up until release day, right ?

But also I can’t exactly start posting about all of them. That would be chaos

So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m gonna make a poll - where y’all can vote on which project I talk about first, or most

If there are any specific topics from my projects you would like to see info on, my inbox is open - plus, you can comment it below this post

And for those who don’t know, these are my projects -

1) Crimson Redux - a fully original story about a world where supernatural forces, dictated by the influences of three godlike (and mostly unknown) entities - Alexithymia, Dysthymia and Dysphoria. Follow James Barker, the son of a serial killer, as he tries his best to navigate his way through this world, dealing with love, loss and action as he does

2) Lion’s Mane (WIP title) - This is just a retelling of the story of Alexander the Great and his lover Hephaestion

3) Take My Heart - A modern AU, and supremely angsty Patrochilles fanfic where Achilles is the heir to a massive corporation dissatisfied with his life, and Patroclus is the indie musical artist whose videos he comes across one day

This is actually an excerpt from it

4) Tearing Tides - The story of an immortal, an ancient child of Scythia, blessed with immortality by the Gods, following him through the years as he meets with ancient historical figures and fellow demigods alike, until he makes his way to modern day. Technically a PJO fanfic

5) Avatar Crew - An AU of The Magnus Archives where Slaughter Avatar Melanie King, Spiral Avatar Michael Distortion, Desolation Avatar Tim Stoker, Eye Avatar Jonathan Sims, and Web Avatar Annabelle Cane all get together to form the one big Avatar family, each member helping the others to feed, with occasional intercessions from a similarly symbiotic Hunt Avatar Daisy Tonner and Flesh Avatar Jared Hopworth.

At least, right up until Jon has a change of heart and leaves the Crew for less bloodstained pastures, rooming with Lonely Avatar Martin Blackwood

6) Sunlit Prince (WIP title) - A VERY barebones project, but basically a retelling of the Iliad and the stories preceding it from the perspective of Hector of Troy

7) Vine-wrapped Gold (WIP title) - equally barebones project, but basically a retelling of the Epic of Gilgamesh

8) Silver-sheen Traitor (WIP title) - perhaps the most barebones out of them all, but a slightly modernized (and very gay) retelling of the Bible from Judas’ perspective

Now, I can’t in good faith offer to post about the last three projects (mostly because I’m still trying to figure out what to do with them, and if I should even try) so please don’t comment about them

The world passes by, and it’s cold. The gravestone is warm. In the depths of Achilles’ fevered mind, he thinks it still smells like Patroclus, the warmth of his skin, the cypress smell of his clothes

He kneels in the frozen dirt, and twigs dig into his skin like the claws of the Furies his mother used to tell him about, screaming, raving spirits of vengeance, risen from the other world to punish him - how dare you let him die !! How dare you let him hurt !!

He thinks he’s been kneeling here for years, but that can’t be right. The Sunday chill is still in the air, and the wind carries the smell of his corpse, limp and dead

The stone is simple, just a slab of rock, words carved into its face - PATROCLUS MENOITIADES 1995-2024

He thinks there should be an “Achilles” scrawled beside it. He thinks he might be dead, too

He remembers how he looked, in those final days, eyes sunken, face shriveled. Skinny as a twig. So unlike the Patroclus he loved that he was half-convinced it was a prank

They said it was pneumonia. Achilles thinks it was Fate herself, playing a cruel joke on him

The weather was calm, almost irritatingly so. Briseis came by to leave out some coffee and donuts for him, lest he ended up starving himself to death, but that was hours ago. And Achilles’ stomach felt like a black hole. He hungered for only one thing, and that was now forever beyond his reach

By now, the cup contained only black-brown sludge, and critters had devoured whatever remained of the donuts. As he watched, one of them nibbled on a crumb

He derived some vicious satisfaction in squishing it, leaving behind a smear of black blood on the rim of the plate. If he had to suffer, so would everyone around him

Maybe, if he sits out here long enough, he’ll catch pneumonia, too. Maybe then he’ll finally be able to follow Patroclus over to the other world. Maybe then he would finally get to be happy

A hoarse voice cleared its throat right behind him. The man was wearing doctor’s scrubs, having just gotten off work. Achilles flinched. It seemed unfazed, “I’m sorry for your loss”

Achilles didn’t respond

Hector continued, “We did everything we could, but it was too late for him. All we could do was-“

“Shut up”, his voice was sharper then he remembered, hoarse and rusty from screaming, like shattered glass, “Shut up before I gouge out your eyes”

“I understand you’re upset”, Hector’s voice was placating. Achilles wanted to kill him, “but it’s not OUR fault”

“I thought I told you something”, his voice was dead, lifeless as his love, right under him, like all the nights they had spent together, “Let me repeat it - shut up”

“Right…”, Hector paused, before clearing his throat, “Briseis wants to know if you’re okay”

Achilles was silent. After a long moment, the tell-tale sounds of a man shuffling away reached him. He didn’t move

After a long moment, he rose to his feet. At the gates of the cemetery, Automedon, clearly worried, perked up slightly at the sight

“Boss”, he called, “The car’s waiting”

“Is…”, Achilles cleared his throat, “Is Mom…”

“She’s at the house”, he swallowed. Hard, “She wants to see you”

“I…”, the breath he drew in was ragged and torn, as he turned back towards the grave, feeling oddly like he was chopping off a limb by leaving this place, “I…”

His mother had never liked Patroclus. But these last few weeks… she had changed. For some reason, the thought of her son losing his heart seemed to get her to finally show the young - so young, too young - man some compassion.

Who knows ? Maybe she had a change of heart.

“Boss ?”, Automedon sounded a bit nervous. He idly scratched the back of his head, “Lady Thetis said she wants you inside by sundown, lest you…”, he swallowed, “…end up like him”

Achilles resisted the urge to bark out a pained laugh. Isn’t that what she always told him would. come of associating with the likes of his beloved ? A bastard, a disgrace, someone disowned by his own family ?

How odd that, now that he was dead, those words were repeated, and with such a different meaning

“Boss ?”

“Yeah”, Achilles turned towards his friend, and was a bit disappointed to not be faced with a funeral hearse, “M’coming”

It seemed improper, for a corpse to be carried around in his mother’s gleaming black Chevrolet Cameron, but he supposed after it had carried his mother around for years, it was used to carting around wounded souls

My life goal is to be so gay that they name the act of being gay after me. Sappho and Achilles are my idols