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#thor – @help-i-need-a-cool-username on Tumblr
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Not Spoiler Free

@help-i-need-a-cool-username

Art/writing blog: @hinacu-arts
Current Main Fandoms: Deadpool & Wolverine
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So i was thinking about what Jane thinks about Thor being on Earth and how tabloids are never true and this was born

  • The Asgard refugees and New Asgard are all over the news so she at least knows thats true
  • Im pretty sure a huge part of their breakup included Thor never being around because he doesnt live on Earth and of course now that theyve broken up he moves to Earth
  • Like she feels awful about the situation but still!
  • They're broken up she doesnt know if shes allowed to call him. She decides she has to do something about it and sends him a email to the account she set up for him that she also knows he never checks but he doesnt have a phone so its all she's got outside of flying to Norway and speaking in person
  • She actually had people calling her asking for info about the situation. And on his new look. And about when he became King. And if they're still broken up because if they are they can write articles on Thor being a "hot and available king"
  • Things eventually calm down and her main source of info on Thor comes from tabloid magazine covers she sees in the grocery store, Darcy who actually reads them, and the occasional caller trying to get the scoop on New Asgardian politics
  • She does get a little concerned when she sees how Thor has "let himself go" (at first she thought it was photoshop)
  • New Asgard is pretty private so when Brunnhilde (Valkyrie) is declared/crowned King the media goes nuts
  • The media goes ahead and calls her Queen Brunnhilde because they cant comprehend unisex titles and assume Thor got married. So all the tabloids are about "this mysterious Queen Brunnhilde" and "the secret royal wedding" and Jane can usually ignore the rumors she hears regarding him but she's actually a little hurt. She's gotten over him but a nostalgic part of her is going "this could have been me, this could have been us" with a angry part of her going "i thought we were friends now and i get why he might not invite me but cant believe he at least didnt invite our mutual friends to the wedding"
  • Brunnhilde gets swarmed at whatever public event she goes to next (shes not happy about it at all) and the gossip reporters are sad theres no juicy secret wedding while the actual reporters are excited to write about how King Thor stepped down/abdicated. Jane breathes a tiny sigh of relief
  • A year or two after that a bunch of photos are released where Thor has his arm around some blonde girl. This is Sylvie because her and Loki destroyed the TVA and decided to come back to Loki's timeline (the season isnt finished yet i can imagine any ending i want shhhh) but no one knows that she's basically his sister and Thor is just a really tactile guy hence the paparazzi drama. It gets worse when they find out her name is Princess Sylvie (she prefers "Lady" over "Princess" but again its paparazzi drama)
  • At this point Jane has a serious boyfriend. She's 100% over Thor. She however is a little bitter that he's working out again (ie shes losing that little satisfaction that you get when youre hotter than your ex) and drunkenly rants to her bf once or twice about "how was i ever suppose to compare to a actual princess? A princess!" and "would he have left me for one if we were still together?"
  • Anyways things are all good again until she gets engaged and the magazines start coming out with the idea that she's having a secret relationship with Thor on the side because "they can never be together"
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I never realized how many MCU trilogies were about the main characters relationship with one other person. The Cap movies: all about Steve and Bucky's friendship. Thor movies: all about the rocky relationship between Thor and Loki. Ant-Man movies: all about father-daughter relationships. Scott and Cassie, Hank and Hope, Bill and Ava. Guardians movies are more than one person but its still all about familial relationships: Baby Groot and everyone, Gamora and Nebula, Peter and Yondu vs Peter and Ego, Mantis and Drax, Rocket and Peter, etc.

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Grandmaster: *randomly shows up*
Grandmaster: imediately proceeds to:
Grandmaster: *overly praises Valkyrie*
Grandmaster: *flirts with Loki*
Grandmaster: oh if it isnt the suductive Lord of Thunder-
Thor: suductive GOD of Thunder!
Everyone: uhhh
Steve: *whispering* are they all fondueing? Is that like a thing now?
Peter P: I think they are-
Tony: ALRIGHT EVERYONE BACK TO BUSINESS WE GOT A WAR TO WIN
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