Solomon: Well technically, a tomato is a fruit because it contains teeth and pulsates when sung to.
Simeon and Luke: *deeply concerned*
Levi: I failed.
Simeon: Well at least you tried!! (✿°ᵕ°)
Levi: I didn't.
Simeon: Well, there's always next time!!
Levi: No, I'm good.
#simeon.exe has stopped working#obey me#obey me!#obey me masters#shall we date obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me one master to rule them all#leviathan#obey me leviathan#leviathan obey me#shall we date leviathan#leviathan swd#simeon#obey me simeon#simeon obey me#shall we date simeon#simeon swd#source: ??
Luke: Teaching Simeon how to use emojis was a mistake.
[Earlier]
Luke, texting: Are you by the gate?
Simeon: ❌👉🧍♂️🍎🍊🍐🛒
Luke: Um...could you repeat that?
Simeon: No, I'm outside the grocery store.
Simeon: Can I like your posts?
Asmo: No you havee to love them!
Satan: It's so strange whenever I see ads because I feel like ads have no effect on me so it's just funny that companies spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to advertise to no avail until I remember that Simeon will download 90% of the games that show up as ads on his phone.
Satan: He will be playing a mobile game and get and ad and fucking click it. And download it.
#hc that all of simeon's storage space is taken up by useless mobile games#obey me#obey me!#obey me masters#shall we date obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me one master to rule them all#satan#obey me satan#satan obey me#shall we date satan#satan swd#simeon#obey me simeon#simeon obey me#shall we date simeon#simeon swd#source: tumblr
Simeon, reading the newspaper headline: Local mage runs out of mana and just starts hitting stuff with his staff...?
Simeon: *stares at Solomon*
Solomon: Hehe
Simeon: *walks into the kitchen*
Solomon: *wearing gloves and goggles while welding a sandwich together*
Simeon:
Simeon: *walks out of the kitchen*
Simeon: "Gaslight gatekeep girlboss" this and "mansplain manipulate malewife" that
Simeon: What about reduce reuse recycle?
Solomon: "Dirty" is a concept invented by British imperialists to keep you from enjoying God's nectar: Swamp Water!
Simeon: Stop drinking the swamp water, Solomon.
Solomon: No pain no gain :)
Simeon: Ah, thank you for the serotonin Solomon (✿°ᵕ°)
Solomon: Give it back it's not for you
Luke: How could you eat the fried hearts of something that once was alive and head a beating heart?! Do you feel any guilt? I hope you do.
Solomon: *stops mid-bite*
Simeon: Um...you should Google what an artichoke is, Luke.
#obey me#obey me!#obey me masters#shall we date obey me#obey me one master to rule them all#obey me luke#luke obey me#shall we date luke#luke swd#solomon#obey me solomon#solomon obey me#shall we date solomon#solomon swd#simeon#obey me simeon#simeon obey me#shall we date simeon#simeon swd#source: tumblr
Simeon: Today's meme is...
Simeon: Being safe and being kind :)
Levi, playing a quiz game online: Hey what are the healthiest teas?
Simeon: Honesty, integrity, and loyalty :)
Levi:
Levi: Can any of you ever just give me a normal answer for once...
Solomon: Garlic is to cooking as vanilla extract is to baking in that the amount I add to my food is guided by reckless extravagance and utter disregard, verging on mild contempt, for the recipe as written :)
Simeon: *stares at the mountain of garlic sitting on top of the food*
#nearly all the posts today seem to be food related#obey me#obey me!#obey me masters#shall we date obey me#obey me one master to rule them all#obey me shall we date#solomon#obey me solomon#solomon obey me#shall we date solomon#solomon swd#simeon#obey me simeon#simeon obey me#shall we date simeon#simeon swd#source: twitter
Levi: When manga characters add a ❤ to their speech...I wish I could do that.
Simeon: You can! Just put a little love in your voice, smile! People hear it (✿°ᵕ°)
Solomon: Moan.
Levi: Two...two types of people......
#obey me#obey me!#obey me masters#shall we date obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me one master to rule them all#leviathan#obey me leviathan#leviathan obey me#shall we date leviathan#leviathan swd#simeon#obey me simeon#simeon obey me#shall we date simeon#simeon swd#solomon#obey me solomon#solomon obey me#shall we date solomon#solomon swd#source: tumblr
[Texting]
Luke: I heard you got a new DDD! How do you like it?
Simeon: Massachusetts
Simeon: So how have you been passing your time?
Solomon, mixing four types of cereal together to create a stronger, more delicious super cereal: I'm learning to cook