Beel: I asked Lucifer why he never let me eat raw cookie dough as a kid and he said "I was never very affectionate so I was worried if you died of salmonella people would think I killed you on purpose"
Beel: No more discourse! Everybody just go eat some bread
Beel: I am very passionate about STEM (Soup To Eat Mmmmmmmm)
Beel: Ough. Those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good.
Beel: Maybe the next one will be better...
Beel: *someone throws a drink in his face but he swallows it all perfectly*
Belphie: I need some serotonin.
Beel: *stands up*
Beel: *sits back down*
Beel: I forgot what serotonin was for a second so I was about to get you some...
Beel: "Stewing in rage" "stewing in agony" why don't you try stewing in some warm chicken lime broth with spices and vegetables?
#i don't think i've actually ever had stew before#i come from an asian family for reference so i've mainly eaten asian food my whole life#obey me#obey me!#obey me masters#shall we date obey me#obey me one master to rule them all#obey me shall we date#beelzebub#obey me beelzebub#beelzebub obey me#shall we date beelzebub#beelzebub swd#source: tumblr
Beel: Putting soup in a square tupperware......it's just not right. It should be the circle one which is the shape of the soup!
Beel: Lucifer said we shouldn't eat at night...but then why is there a light in the fridge?
Beel: Why are my hands getting cold but not the rest of my body?
Satan: It's the body's way of regulating temperature.
Belphie: Ghosts are holding your hands.
Beel:
Satan:
Beel: How romantic! :D
#obey me#obey me!#obey me masters#shall we date obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me one master to rule them all#beelzebub#obey me beelzebub#beelzebub obey me#shall we date beelzebub#beelzebub swd#obey me satan#satan obey me#shall we date satan#satan swd#belphegor#obey me belphegor#belphegor obey me#shall we date belphegor#belphegor swd#source: ??
Levi: Normies should stop being fake deep and just post about slugs or something.
Beel: Do you think slugs have the same consistency as gum when you chew them or are they more like other meats like chicken?
Levi: Idea cancelled.
#beel: you know what i'm just gonna find out for myself *walks out of the house*#obey me#obey me!#obey me masters#shall we date obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me one master to rule them all#leviathan#obey me leviathan#leviathan obey me#shall we date leviathan#leviathan swd#beelzebub#obey me beelzebub#beelzebub obey me#shall we date beelzebub#beelzebub swd#source: tumblr
Belphie: Do we have any flour?
Beel: Yeah, why?
Belphie: Some kids outside want cocaine.
Belphie: I'm gonna teach them a lesson.
Beel: We're a family. Families should talk about things!
Belphie: No, families ignore things until they go away.
Beel: One of my biggest fears is that one day I'll be standing in front of a microwave waiting for my hot pocket to heat up and my microwave will suddenly explode, impaling me instantly with shrapnel
Beel: Most things are not as important as garlic bread
Beel: Mm, this juice is pretty good (☆^–^)
Satan, slightly concerned: Beel...that's paint......
#obey me#obey me!#obey me masters#shall we date obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me one master to rule them all#beelzebub#obey me beelzebub#beelzebub obey me#shall we date beelzebub#beelzebub swd#obey me satan#satan obey me#shall we date satan#satan swd#source: i looked it up and it's from some sonic comic panel meme?? wack
Beel: Do you not eat limes like you eat apples?
Mammon: Huh?
Beel: Or even lemons...?
Mammon: HUH??
#technically you could tho#like whenever my parents peeled oranges for me as a kid they literally left the whole white part on them bc it was 'good fiber'#i peeled them off anyways but that's besides the point#obey me#obey me!#obey me masters#shall we date obey me#swd obey me#obey me shall we date#beelzebub#obey me beelzebub#beelzebub obey me#shall we date beelzebub#beelzebub swd#mammon#obey me mammon#mammon obey me#shall we date mammon#mammon swd#source: one topic at a time