Hank canonically watches all of this on the news.
Imagine witnessing the person you care about more than anything kill themselves in front of hundreds because they fucking can't take it anymore. All the abuse eating away at their mind, them not trusting themselves that they will do the right thing.
Their fear, their desperation, their pain.
Connor had never suicidal tendencies. He was always strong as a rock.
No signs that something like this could ever happen.
No one knew about Amanda in his head. Hank never realised that something was awfully wrong from the start.
He fought hard for this, for the revolution. Hank fought alongside him, in the best way he could.
But Connor watched his brothers in arms die.
And he couldn't control the abuse anymore.
To everyone's shock, he put a gun to his throat.
He felt *alone*, that no one was there to help him.
Hank had made him promise that they would meet at the chicken feed the morning after, so he could take him home and together they would start a new life; Hank free from his demons and Connor free from his programming.
They were so close but Connor shot himself. And Hank could not stop it.
And he could not find out why. Why did Connor kill himself? What was that that gave him such trouble?
He would never know that Connor had this voice in his head that was causing him such distress. That this voice did everything to control him.
That Connor kept it all to himself unlike Hank who opened up about his struggles.
That Connor was actually the most vulnerable.
Connor's friendship saved Hank but Hank's friendship with Connor wasn't enough to save him. The problem was much deeper.
And so Hank played russian roulette one more time and succeeded. No alcohol needed this time.
He knew what he had to do.