if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue

how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it

all part of the plan

malewife this and malewife that WHY have we forgotten about our boytoys?

aging tumblr population wants to settle down

I'm no penisologist but I'll take a look.

toy idea: cold wheels

NO ramps. SHITTY paint jobs. they're slow as HELL and you'll LIKE it

This is just owning a car

unfortunatyely im displaying behaviours. and acting in ways

Ever since i learned how to pee my life has been crazy

sffskdjfhjsdfkgksdfgkhlsdfg dsfkjghdfsjk jsjjj?????? skgfjhksdjfghjkdslnjdf jhdflgkjjdsklnlsdkdfnsl kjfdsghlkjdfsnsv fdsjg ksdfjgl djlkdjfhssdfhfjkghs sljhgfdlskjnfadljnldfkjghjadgdljksahdf dsakjghsdfjghkldfjshgksldfjg dfjkslghkdjfghjskdghjkadflfgkjsdlgf n jgfhsd fdj h

The extremely rare 6th stage of grief.

monks will be like "this text is mistranslated 😂😂" my brother in christ you illuminated it

monks will be like "this text is mistranslated 😂😂" my brother in christ you illuminated it

new batch of @incorrect-muppet-quotes

10 more @incorrect-muppet-quotes bc they’re my life blood

Cis people will really say "oh trap is just an anime term" to justify calling someone that like. Why do you think it's called that