When I eat alone at home and don't have any appointments (i.e. time limit to my meals)...

I will... pre-plate my meals.

...not eat in front of the TV, but listen to music or an audiobook.

If I am still hungry or craving after... I will make a hot drink or a smoothie.

Then I will go do something else... A predetermined activity such as a nap 😉, going for a walk, reading or crocheting or of course something else that needs to be done. But 10 minutes of something relaxing during my lunch break is allowed! #selfcare

On hard days I will text my plan to my husband for accountability.

Long post! #trigger warning weight

So here are my 2023 No S Diet statistics:

- an average of 80% compliance over the entire year 💪🏼🎉🥳 (yes! That was my goal)

- a new record of months 🌟 scored 80% or higher

I had a rough day at work, no lunch break and am also on my period. Came home and was like "This is going to be a red day. I officially give myself permission to binge eat junk and enjoy it." Had one piece of candy and then went around looking for more but was like "Nah, I'm good".

Soon I'll share what helped me get here.

#tw ed

I have been reading a lot about IF (intermittent fasting). It's very interesting how not eating for a while gives your body the chance to clean up junk and heal. But it's also a slippery slope for me... I don't want to relapse into disordered eating habits.

Fact is, finding out about the No S Diet in 2016 was a real life saver. It gave me structure and made me realize that eating snacks only made me hungrier. Not eating after dinner has helped me sleep better, too. So I am going to aim for 12hr overnight fasts but never longer than 14 because that would mean I'd have to skip breakfast and that's just not a good idea for me. I also want to refocus on 🚫 NOT SNACKING🚫 basically because it makes me feel good! I often feel crap on Saturdays and I know it's because I snack...

Every time I keep coming back to No S, it's just sensible...

Wed 8/23 🏅 didn't have any chocolate 💪🏼

B - berries&fig from the garden, 4 ww crackers+pb/honey/flax, some nuts

L - Vega focaccia kebab @ Loetje

D - apple, 2 dried apricots; potatoes, cauliflower, chili beans

Ex- went for a quick run

Thu 8/24

Breakfast & lunch ⬆️

B -oat bar, apple, yogurt drink

L - grapes, raw veg, hummus sandwich, trail mix +some dark chocolate

S - berries from the garden, dried papaya, tbsp pb

D - rice, peas, smoked tofu & ketchup 🙃

S - watermelon

Lots of fruit today.

Ex- went for a 30min bike ride

Fri 8/25 🏅had one treat!

B - 'vlokken' sandwich, apple+pb, soy milk

L ⬇️

D - banana, 2 Dutch pancakes (cheese/spinach & cheese/syrup), ice cream for dessert!

Friday evening is ice cream night. I can score Healthy Habit Points 🏅 if it's the only treat I have tonight!

Ex- 15min elliptical, core

Sat 8/26

B - banana, honey walnut oatmeal

L - 2 Dutch pancakes (spinach/cheese & pb/apple), piece of chocolate, soy milk

S - potato chips

Procrastination snacking... 😣 Beschuit+vlokken, cookie, 1/2 piece chocolate, dry cornflakes straight from the box😅, slice cheese, sm piece bread+cheese

D - lettuce, tomatoes, Greek beans, some baguette+cheese

Sun 8/27

B @ 12pm - toast 2x (pb/apple butter), banana, gram flour omelet w tomatoes

L @ 3pm - 4 ww crackers w hummus & raw veg, apple, nuts & dried fruit

+ a piece of dark chocolate 😊

D - baked cauliflower & tortellini, a taste of the oat bread I baked

Mon 28/8

B - nectarine, 2 slices oat bread, walnuts+dried apricots, soy milk

L - apple, cherry tomatoes & cucumber, 6 crackers (pb/hummus/Nutella), piece of dark chocolate

(a lot bc I waited too long and was super hungry and still am 😬)

S - berries after my run straight from the bush in my garden

D - @inlaws: vegetarian bobotie w salad and a TOMPOUCE (250cals) ⬇️ for dessert

Tue 8/29

In the end I had a yogurt drink instead of the banana and 10g dark chocolate for dessert. That oat bread is seriously filling.

Wed 30/8

B - slice of oat bread

L - banana, trail mix, chickpea potato omelet, chocolate

D - nectarine, pb; soup + bread & some cheese; 2 nimm2

Thu 31/8

B - smoothie (banana/spinach/blueberry), vlokken sandwich

L - wrap w pb/sambal/lettuce, hummus+veg, trail mix ⬇️; not pictured: ww cracker w Nutella (the white wrap just doesn't fill me up but it's the only ones we had...) & 10g of chocolate

S - cookie

D - apple; black bean stir fry

Ended the month with a 76% compliance (below 80 unfortunately), weighed in at 50.4 kg.

I am so proud of myself. It's taken years to break with disordered eating habits, but especially changing the all or nothing mindset has been a major challenge. I've been using habit tracking charts to motivate myself and a reward sheet for when I slip up but don't let that ruin the entire day ("Oh, I messed up. Might as well eat like crap the rest of the day"). I decided that if I have one unplanned sweet on a weekday and not have any more, I can still get half a point for that day. This works really well for me.

The next challenge I want to do, is to not do anything else while I have a treat. I really love watching TV or reading while eating, but I've found that it's something I sometimes do to distract myself from eating. When it's healthy food, it helps me get it over with 😂 And when it's unhealthy food, I do it to distract myself from feeling gross and having thoughts like "You shouldn't eat this, this is bad for you and will make you fat". Which is true but if I haven't had any treats for the entire week, it is okay to have some potato chips, ice cream and cookies on the weekend (not all in one evening but that's for another time 😆).

I went for my second run today and did a short home workout!

B - fruit granola yogurt, soy latte

L - kefir, smoothie (soy milk, banana, spinach, protein powder, peanuts, dates, cocoa powder) and a bit of leftover cauliflower salad

D - (some berries & watermelon), salad & peppers stuffed w corns & lentils, a piece of Lindt

Dinner was soooo good. Improv. Very happy I was able too cook since I was feeling tired and uninspired. Struggling to stay positive today despite the sunshine.

So I really enjoyed two pieces of the s'mores bars yesterday (one as a snack and the other w a scoop of ice cream for dessert after a BBQ at my parents'). I shared most and froze the last 3. But D is trying to lose weight and talked to me about it and the fact that I gained a little bit of weight (only a kilo but it's been 2 years since I've seen that number)... Ahhh. My head, man. I thought I was over this. She also said G gained weight from the kefir so now I'm not sure if I'm continuing with it...

Anyways, I'm just going to try and continue with what works well for me and that is No S. Am going to try to be strict with it this week and will weigh myself again Friday... Maybe it was just a fluke. Or maybe it was the protein powder...

This was what I ate today:

B - soy latte, fruit (melon, grapes, banana) w nuts, coconut & flaxseed

L - cauliflower feta salad, 1/2 cup Lima beans, half a piece of Lindt & 2 dried apricots

S - one bite of hubby's caramel pecan bar and a fresh mint tea (We went for a lovely walk in a park and had a drink outside a cute little cafe! First time in like a year.)

D - little bit of kefir, watermelon, beans & broccoli+tomatoes, 1/2 cup soy milk

I need to let go. Being uptight does not make me a prettier person.

I haven't been eating as much whole wheat stuff (white rice bc I ordered in Indian, plain tortillas bc the store was out, egg noodles bc they are just so good...).

I can really tell I get hungry a lot quicker. I really want to try to lean more towards whole foods. Not necessarily bc it makes me feel better but also bc it means I have less cravings. Less of a mental struggle.

Just need to muster up the energy to do more meal prep and actual cooking then. 🙄

Jan 85% ⭐ (3 red days)

Feb 74% (5 red days)

Mar 84% ⭐ (3 red days)

Already earned 2 stars this year for complying 80% or higher 😃 My weight has been stable at BMI 21. I want to aim below 3 red days for April!

Focus on habits, not weight! 👌🏼

For some reason eating bread with chocolate sprinkles (hagelslag, a normal thing here) was something I had relearned* to eat again. But adding sugar to oatmeal was still a no go. Even though it's the same amount of sugar!

Well, today I had cooked oatmeal with brown sugar and cinnamon for breakfast and it was deeh-licious!

*Not everyday but whenever I'm really craving it. Usually once a week. I'll have it. And not hate myself after.

Baking and sharing brings me joy!

I bought a box of instant brownie mix (the Just Add Water kind 🤭) which officially is 8 servings of 200 cals each but they always feel too small and still give you a major sugar rush. So I added a can of pureed black beans and 2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder to the mix (baked them for 24 minutes). This gives you 12 generous brownie muffins which taste decadent but also are a bit lower in calories!

This is a big lesson I learned that helped me in my ED recovery: it doesn't have to be 100% healthy or 100% unhealthy.

✅ Finally at that point in life where I have friends who don't know about my ED probs from the past. It was her idea to add "Sip hot cocoa + whipped cream while reading a good book in a comfy chair" to our winter bucket list. I did it. 💪🏼 And enjoyed it!

✅ Another item to check off was to take a picture of a sunrise. This was today's. I had to get my first vaccination shot which is why I was up early enough to actually see the sun rise lol 😅

Yesterday's food, green till 10pm when I had a warm slice of almond cake a sister I helped with Zoom made for us. 3 red days so far this month 😩 WHERE IS MY SELF CONTROL?!

- The first one was a Friday, where weekend eating should commence after dinner (not before, alone in the pantry, stuffing cookies into my face). I will do better tomorrow.

- The second was last Wednesday. Hubby got fancy pastries from the bakery for a visit to his parents. Got me one too. I put it in the freezer to save it for the weekend. I had the munchies and caved an hour later..

- Yesterday was The Cake. It was still warm! If I had waited less than 24hrs I could've had it for dessert tonight and reheated it.. Lame excuses.

Need to get my act together.