The Safeword is RadioApple (part 5)

Alastor’s rut starts, and while Luci is flattered Alastor’s body sees him as a doe he’s not really down to clown. Yet, somehow…🎪 🤡

「warnings/promises: Alastor x Luci x FemReader, smut, knotting (incorrect deer anatomy), cold tea, womb flooding, Oh Yeah Luci magics a WAP (wet ass pussy) Howd I forget that 💋, so kinda virgin Luci???, threesome obvs, tentacles, sex with the lights on, jiggle physics, mating, breed kink, fluffy chest, Luci wings, brief moment of panicked wing pulling」

minors I will curse all your tea to be cold before you remember to drink it if you interact 🍵 🥶 (mdni)

Yes

[Warnings/Promises: snack sized, Lucifer x GN!AngelReader, lil smut smut, fucking on a desk, 1-800-DICT-DWN]

🫸🏼minors DNI🫷🏼

bedside manner

Lucifer x Sick Reader with heart condition (fluffy)

It wouldn’t be hell if everyone was perfectly healthy; perfectly fit.

But, a counter point, hell wasn’t made to hurt. It was made to be full of people who caused pain and then, hopefully, spread it. The punishment was being in the company of the punished.

However Lucifer was no heartless sinner. No, in fact, his heart fell to his heels when Charlie came to his office in a worried huff. Another spell had hit you, another instance where he was reminded of the fragility of human souls.

Knocking, he realized quickly how thoughtless that was. By the time he opened the door he found you crumpled on the floor. You’d resigned yourself to not making it to the door and got comfortable on your knees.

“Ffffuck, I shouldn’t have knocked. I should have just— no don’t try to get up.” Small but strong hands hooked under your back and behind your knees. You weren’t weightless, but for Lucifer your physical self was barely noticeable compared to the power of an angel. Fallen or not, carrying you back to your bed was easy. It made you feel… small. Not small as in insignificant, small as in safe. Something the king of hell could cradle and tuck into his breast pocket to ensure your continuous care.

He sank onto the bed, trying to act cool and calm despite the blonde hairs out of place. He had run down to your room, forgetting he was capable of magic in his panic to confirm your condition.

When you tried to sit up, to offer some kind of normal greeting, you found your head akin to a fish bowl tilted too far forward. You were in danger of tipping over and spilling what remained of your consciousness.

“Hey now,” Luci’s hands gently pushed against your shoulders. “I didn’t get you back to bed just to have you fall out again.”

You attempted a smile, but you were past the point of faking it. There’s always a line that’s crossed when pain is concerned, when nerves get too bare and the mind too brittle to conceal it for the sake of niceties. Pain too quickly monopolized the body’s mental resources. All of the energy left in you was focused on breathing, on checking the rhythm of your heart. Was it speeding up? Or perhaps now it was becoming too slow… was that skipped beat an omen? Would the next one come?

His eyes came to the little white cube clutched in your hand. He’d become accustomed to it by now. Slipping it on your index finger’s tip he watched the numbers change. While he never spent much time around humans on earth, he understood when a heart was going haywire. He knew when the little peaks and valleys broke their pattern it wasn’t normal. He couldn’t understand how you felt but he wished he could do more than understand. If his hand could touch yours and take all the discomfort onto himself, he’d never let you go.

The paleness of your face caught his attention next. You looked ill. A little frightened.

“Would you like some food? I could get you anything you desire. No sacrifice needed.” A joke, but again, jokes don’t override exhaustion. You shook your head, letting a hand snake over to his and gently take hold.

“I don’t think I can stomach it.”

He nodded. Noticing the drink on your nightstand he handed it to you as some alternative. Lucifer watched your hands struggle to grip the drink’s lid strong enough to twist it open. “Let me.” He took it back, another ball dropped in his attempt to comfort you.

The way your fingers trembled as they lifted higher to receive the drink made his own heart ache. He brought it to your lips and slowly poured it into your mouth.

“What do you need, kitten?” He set the bottle back down within reach for you.

“A warm distraction.” Your eyes didn’t meet his. Embarrassment keeping them on your hands.

Lucifer was new to many things, and rusty with far more. But doting on someone special came naturally to him. Perhaps too much so, given how quickly eden’s vacancy sign lit up after his arrival.

He slid in bed beside you, pulling your head onto his chest, and took out his phone. “I made a stop motion of my ducks…” he scrolled through his apps.

His voice drowned out the paranoid pounding in your ears, so you leaned in closer.

It didn’t numb the pain, or return vigor to your body, but the purr of his chest as he spoke helped you focus on something else for a little while. And that was enough.

Promises, Rules, Enforceable Suggestions

The Safeword is RadioApple tidbit 2

“Okay so let’s review.” You set the notepad down between the three of you. Sitting in a line on the bed, you’d made some ground rules. Not that any of you could agree on even a title. 

But titling the list didn’t matter. Luci leaned in.  He was eager for something solid to hang his hat on. Metaphorically.

“We can enjoy each other’s company,” you had written ‘fuck’ but Alastor objected to the word, saying it was too narrow and excluded his favorite things, “even if it’s just two of us.”

Alastor hummed. The rule he originally fought against the most. 

But Lucifer had given him an odd look and added, “That goes for all of us.” A look that made Alastor cross his arms and recline again, a sudden heat to his cheeks he wasn’t accustomed to feeling.

“Next rule, no physical fights or destruction of property.” A pause, you quickly wrote down , “No making the other person hurt themselves.”

“Number three, we don’t formally announce it, but we don’t lie about it if asked.” You glanced at Luci. His eyes were wide, sweat already forming on his forehead. It was the rule he had asked for specifically. A compromise with himself about what to do regarding Charlie. 

Alastor took the pen, scribbling ‘can’t lie by omission’.

“Oh come on I know that’s directed at me.” Lucifer snatched the pen from him, “can’t pretend I’m the third wheel.” 

“Is that not the right word for you?” Alastor looked over your head to meet Lucifer’s glare.

Lucifer’s horns grew quickly, fire licking past his teeth.  

“Fuck. Come on, it’s literally the second rule.” You looked from one man to the other. When Luci seemed to calm, you set the pen and notepad down on the bed. “Anything else?”

You couldn’t see it, but Alastor had tapped Lucifer on the shoulder and mouthed something. You felt them lean into each other behind your back, whispers tickling the fine hairs on your neck.

Luci took the pen and added a fourth rule. Before you could finish reading, Alastor wrote just above Lucifer’s line.

Settling back to lie onto the pillows, you held the notepad above your head. You could see them both in your peripheral, “That’s not a bad idea.”

⟢Lucifer x Reader x Alastor - The Safeword is RadioApple smut💦

Alastor would give you anything, all you had to do was ask. When you asked for Lucifer, he delivered. But after seeing just how much you enjoyed Alastor’s rough handling, Lucifer takes a turn and gets a little lost in the pleasure.

Referencing

⟢Lucifer x Reader x Alastor - The Safeword is RadioApple smut💦

Alastor would give you anything, all you had to do was ask. When you asked for Lucifer, he delivered. But after seeing just how much you enjoyed Alastor’s rough handling, Lucifer takes a turn and gets a little lost in the pleasure.

I hope the updates scratched that itch

⟢Lucifer x Reader x Alastor - The Safeword is RadioApple smut💦

Alastor would give you anything, all you had to do was ask. When you asked for Lucifer, he delivered. But after seeing just how much you enjoyed Alastor’s rough handling, Lucifer takes a turn and gets a little lost in the pleasure.

$50,000 a year for you and for me, 70 years! I can write and you can read for 70 years! 🥺

in all seriousness, to the remarkably generous people who have tipped me/financially glomped me, it makes me feel like a fucking renaissance painter with patrons like “please keep up the art darling!” 😭 thank you so very very much! 💖 if you ever want to request a fic, I’ll put it on the top of the WIP list !

I won’t name names so people don’t think “oh so @kindandgeneroushornydeercultmember!! Me now please!” But thank you very much 🥹 it’s also helped me get people off my back in my “real life” about “wasting” my time writing for “free”. 1) I write purely for the joy of it and hobbies can be “worth it” even without monetary gain and 2) you all repay me with the time you spend to like my posts and inbox me and comment and reblog and make your funny tags! 😤 I’m showered in love and kindness daily from you all! 💖 that’s absolutely priceless and something I was sorely lacking in life!

➻❥Hazbin MasterList

The Safeword is RadioApple (part 4 - Alastor’s win?)

Read the first part here for intro and warnings and then decide:

Did Lucifer win rock paper scissors? Cum here

Did Alastor win rock paper scissors? Keep reading

The Safeword is RadioApple (part 4 - Lucifer’s victory)

Read the first part here for intro and warnings and then decide:

Did Alastor win rock paper scissors? Smash this

Did Lucifer win rock paper scissors? Keep reading….

The Safeword is RadioApple (part 4)

Lucifer lets fate decide how he and Alastor will show their dear kitten their teamwork skills.

「warnings/promises apply to both routes: RadioApple x FemReader, threesome, Lucifer x Alastor anal, p in v, soft breeding kink, Luci calls himself Daddy, biting, choose your own adventure, heaven ain’t got shit on Luci, fingering, tentacle fucking, cuddling, creampies, cum fucking, lots of deer references partially because of @n-after-me’s latest fic, sweet words, Happy Luci」

Deer Duck Kitten

Finally. You finally had both men in a place where you could enjoy each other as a group, instead of just you getting fucked by two people at the same time. 

You had half recovered from your hangover by early afternoon, but the little slip you made earlier in the day was just causing a new headache to emerge.

When the men both questioned what exactly you had meant, you decided the best option was to take your own advice and shut the fuck up. So shut the fuck up you did, for a solid three hours, while lying in your bed face down.

New problem now. Perfect. 10/10, you suck. 

Alastor and Luci were huddled in a corner of the lobby, two arm chairs pulled together and facing away from the others.

To Alastor, you had said something unspoken until then. The only difference that he could see was his …embracing of Lucifer’s inclusion in your relationship.

Lucifer was partially blind, the stars orbiting his head shining too brightly for him to see or think properly.

“Was that normal?” Lucifer asked.

“Not for us, no.” 

Lucifer, unblinking, “It’s too soon for sure for us.”

Alastor’s static aura flickered, “Obviously.” Lucifer glared.

“She’s obviously happy we got along so…well?” 

Alastor nodded.

“So let’s show her our teamwork in action! Let’s take care of her. Together.” He winked, making Alastor grimace.

“Take care of her how? Because she’s sick?” You were still hungover.

“No… take care of her.” Lucifer’s brows rose up and down, saying the words a little louder.

The air around Alastor snapped, a crackle of static returning, “I’m not deaf, I just don’t understand what secret meaning you’re hinting at.”

The normally patient and polite king’s face scrunched before he grabbed Alastor by the lapels and pulled him close, seething, “Take care of her. In bed. Sex. Fuck her.”

Alastor scowled, dark gums peaking past his lips, “We do that nearly nightly in some fashion, your majesty.”

Nose pressed to nose, forehead to forehead, “I am going to fucking kill you.”

While what they were saying wasn’t audible, Angel was adding his own narration to the video he was taking, “I’m gonna fuck you, Radio Demon.” He attempted a regal voice. “Not if I fuck you first! ha ha ha,” His best shot at a trans-Atlantic accent.

“You’re insufferable. Just speak plainly!”

Lucifer opened his mouth to reply but instead of words, a choked noise as he turned his face away. A deep blush now rising up his neck to his cheeks. A flash of a memory of Alastor’s dark eyes looking down at him over his wet body, stomach bulging with every thrust. Could he really say it out loud?

“Oh.” Alastor sat back in his chair, “She and I haven’t…” he searched for a delicate word, “Explored other avenues.”

Now who wasn’t speaking plainly?

“Well we could rearrange the order a little.” Lucifer sandwiched his hands together in hopes he could keep the details unspoken.

Alastor hummed, “Who would be in the middle, so to speak, if not my-”

“Our.” Lucifer cut him off.

A sinister snarl of a grin, “-dear.”

Lucifer put out a fist, “Did you know rock paper scissors or are you too old timey for that?”

“Loser has to hold open their gaping hole and-,” Angel jumped and nearly dropped his phone when Charlie bounced up beside him.

“Awww Dad and Al are playing games together!”

He snickered, tears forming in his eyes, “Yeah like tugga war and hide the pickle.”

“I think it’s called tug-of-war, Angel.”

Angel patted her on the head and turned to flee, “Good catch, princess. Nothin’ gets by you.”

They couldn’t decide who would knock, so both did. You weren’t ready for the conversation yet, having to explain it was just an expression and not intended to be a declaration. You and Alastor used many other words instead; my beloved, I adore you, my love. You had found comfort in the steadiness of his adoration, never a fear he would leave so you never worried much at the lack of direct ‘I love you’.

But …. Luci. You could see in his face how desperately he needed to be overshadowed with someone’s love. To be the one to eclipse all of his insecurities with a warm blanket of consistent affection? You’d die again for the opportunity. Just—- not yet. Certain words are meaningless without action. And you hadn’t done much more than cuddle and have sex. You needed to show him your love before you said anything about it. 

Another set of knocks. You whined, they didn’t deny you anything so how could you deny them? “What?”

“Kitten?” mixed with “Dear.” from outside the door.

You called them in, not watching as Luci beelined for the bed and Alastor closed and locked the door as quietly as possible to not bother you. 

“Does your head still hurt?” Lucifer slid up to your right side. You opened your eyes, turning your head to him. 

“No.”

He smiled. You felt the bed dip, Alastor settling to your left. 

“Are you feeling otherwise unwell?” Alastor asked. Rolling off your stomach to turn fully to Alastor now, surprised at the gentle conversation. You had anticipated an interrogation. 

“I’m fine now. Just don’t feel like moving much so… bed.” Luci’s hands slipped over your waist as he cuddled into your backside. You couldn’t help the smile you made. Alastor kissed your forehead, and your smile grew. Much more tender of an interaction than usual. Normal events involved you passed between the two, them taking turns with your attention when not actively having sex.

You were the little buffer between them. It always felt like they were trying to enjoy you without needing to realize the other demon existed in the room at all. 

Alastor made a show of taking his hand and sliding his fingers into Lucifer’s, resting on your waist. 

Manually breathing, you tried to keep your face neutral to not scare away the moment. 

Luci propped himself up and leaned over you. When Alastor leaned too, receiving a kiss from Luci on the lips you rolled onto your back. You’d never seen the Eiffel Tower from underneath but as you stared directly up as Lucifer kissed Alastor again, and again, you could imagine what it must be like to be under such a grand display. This was the first time you’d seen them intentionally touch each other… other than attempted murder. 

Did Lucifer win rock paper scissors? Cum here

Did Alastor win rock paper scissors? Smash this

༻Masterlist༺

honEEEEEEY I am writing that shit until I run out of kinks I’m comfortable exploring and sex positions I am capable of writing.

⟢Lucifer x Reader x Alastor - The Safeword is RadioApple smut💦

The SafeWord is RadioApple (a tidbit epilogue to part 3)

@readergirlstuff

You rested your cheek on the bar, hangover in full effect but the cool wood was calming the headache.

“Sooo, who wears the pants in this triangle of horrors.” Angel leaned back against the bar, watching Lucifer and Alastor glare at each other from separate armchairs.

“Now that’s a dumb question.” Husk shook his head.

“Okay if it’s so obvious then you tell me.”

Husk put his hands up defensively, “Not stupid because it’s obvious, but because only an idiot would piss off the cruelest overlord and the king of hell with one sentence.”

“The king is always going to come out on top.” Luci smiled directly at Alastor.

“Funny, you spent your night on your back.” Alastor rose his newspaper to block out the view of Luci.

“Who am I to deny one of my people the chance to serve their majesty?”

Alastor cackled, wiping tears from his eyes, “Serve? You were literally begging for my-“

“YOU ASKED ME TO!” Horns fully grown, on his feet.

“You sounded like you meant it.” Alastor’s body grew to twice his size, antlers hitting the bar’s overhang as static cut in and out of his voice.

“Enough! Shh. Quiet.” You pulled a napkin over your head to block out the bright lights. “I need you both to shut the fuck up for like, 5 minutes.”

Both men stilled, returning to their seats. Lucifer scrolled on his phone, sheepish. Alastor returned to his paper.

Angel tapped the bar, “Not so obvious, was it, whiskers.”

“Damn.” Husk shook his head.

“Kiss kiss love you sorry,” you offered, a pang of guilt for being so rude to them. Especially in front of others. You knew you’d have to make amends later.

Lucifer perked up, eyes wide and shining, “did you say-?”

Alastor’s smile nearly dropped, an unseen audience awwing over the radio static as he accidentally ripped the newspaper in half, “what was that now?”

Fuck.

A little tidbit of: