One plus one

“This can’t be normal…”

“Jason, you’re a halfa, nothing is normal.”

Jason threw a bird as he continued to study the mirror.

There was a lump on his stomach. It wasn’t there last week.

Call him paranoid but the last time he wasn’t ended with him in a box.

Danny snickered from his perch on Jason’s bed.

“You know if something is really bothering you than we can go visit Frostbite? It’s kind of his whole deal to make sure we don’t croak again.”

Jason grimaced as he pressed the toilet’s flush with his foot.before entering his bedroom and flopping onto the bed.

“Sure, who doesn’t enjoy getting lectures from yetis? It’s probably just a resurgence of the pit. And extra can of liquid lime jello a day and I’ll be good.”

“You say that now, but last time it was you flame core coming in.”

Jason grimaced,

“I’m aware.”

“You burned down a safe house. Jason, you’re no longer human. You need to remember that it’s never nothing wit-“

Danny let out a sharp yelp as he felt a harsh kick send him to the floor. Getting up, he sent a glare at the snickering vigilante before letting out a sigh,

“I’m just saying it’s better to get this checked out before it becomes a problem.”

“If it will calm your nerves than we can visit tomorrow, now get over here. I have patrol in a couple hours and I demand compensation.”

“Compensation?” He snickered as he slid into the older boy’s arms. “Compensation for what?”

“The lectures I’m going to have to deal with tomorrow. Now shut up dumbass.”

~~~~

Jason was in shock.

He had to be because there’s no way that Frosty just said-

“-quite remarkable Jason! Usually when it comes to procreation ghosts have challenges to produce one child-“

Triplets.

‘That’s three..’

“Holy shit.”

Like actually how??

Jason couldn’t even remember when the last time he slept with someone let alone bottomed.

Glancing over to Danny he could see that he was trying to do math as well.

“I don’t- how?”

Frostbite gave him a confused look,

“Young Jason? What do you mean?”

“I mean how? I haven’t had sex since I met Danny.”

“Ahh, you are thinking of human procreation. When it comes to ghosts they really only need to have a strong wish for children and have their body and haunt in a proper state to carry. Add the fact that you have been in prolonged contact with the Great One probably caused the quantity.”

Fucking hell Desiree..

“So they’re mine?” Danny asked,

“As far as I’m aware. Congratulations you two on your hauntlings! Now with the sheer number you are a caring Jason I think it it best that we talk about what you should expect-“

~~~~~~

“Jason talk to me babe.”

“Talk? What is there to talk about? I’m fine, you’re fine, the babies are fine. Everything is fine.”

Danny hummed as he floated above the kitchen.

“You say that but you’re stress baking.”

“We were out of snacks.”

“You’re making a cheesecake at five in the morning.”

Jason slammed his rolling pin a bit more aggressively into the gram crackers before turning around.

“Fine! You know what? I’m stressed, I admit it! We’re not in a stable place here! We’re two 23 year olds who live in crime alley! The Anti-Ecto acts just got brought down. You’re going to college and I’m a vigilante crime lord!”

Jason furiously rubbed his palm into his eye before releasing a long breath,

“It’s just- really hitting right now.” He slid down the cabinet to the tile, “Fuck we’re having kids.”

Danny lightly floated to the floor before gently leaning into the taller man.

“Hey, you’re thinking about this like we’re going to do this alone. You’re forgetting that we have support. Tucker and Sam are moving over soon, Jazz is one call away. That doesn’t even count the 20 billion siblings you dad has got.”

The snort Jason let out was counted as a win.

“I mean do you know how many onesies I saw Dick looking up on his phone during those weeks of pranking?Tim was frantically googling what to expect while your expecting.”

“Really?”

Danny nodded solemnly,

“Duke and Damian were figuring out how to set up a nursery. You remember how Bruce reacted the first time. They’ll be excited! And we both know that the girls are going to flip!”

Danny gently nudged him in the side,

“Annnd you’ll have me. I’ll be at your side until you get annoyed by my presence!”

Jason gently unfolded himself and rested his head on Danny’s,

“You know that we’re going to have to come clean about our relationship right?”

With a dramatic sigh Danny got up and pulled Jason along,

“It was fun while it lasted, two and a half years of circumventing Brucie’s attempts of getting me to join the family only to be murdered for that same reason.”

“Nah, Old man isn’t who you should be worried about, Alfred on the other hand…”

As they sat down and turned on the morning news a calm finally fell onto Jason. With a glance down to his stomach he took a deep breath.

‘Yeah we can do this.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The hoodlums:

@numbuh-7-knd, @phoenixdemonqueen, @lokiaddams,@thegatorsgoose,

@storm-and-fire , @elvesandlanterns @moedango , @skulld3mort-1fan , @apointlessbox , @samgirl98 @booberrylizard , @starmee-lodurrson, @idek618 , @littlefeather345 , @iosonotoro , @dxrksong @moonfirearc @terzatheunderscorerima @thegatorsgoose , @the-legal-shipper

Jason can clearly say that becoming a halfa was the best thing that ever happened to him.

If not for the lack of green in his head now a days than it’s because of all the new material he now has to fuck with his family.

He has successfully tricked B into thinking he can stick to things like Spider-Man instead of just turning off gravity.

Damian is now much more wary about threatening people with his sword now that Jason let him cut off a hand without telling him it would grow back.

Currently, he’s slowly gaslighting his brothers into thinking he’s pregnant.

Man, he has really been enjoying his new ability to turn invisible.

Captain Marvel (Shazam) and the Justice League Funny Idea

So

Y'all know the hit show Brooklyn Nine-Nine, right? And how they have a thing called a "Halloween Heist" episode that happens every season or so, right?

Good. Because that's all I know from the show. Anyway! Seeing clips on YouTube about it got me thinking

What if the Justice League did something similar? Just for fun in their down time while they're not out saving the world or helping little old ladies cross the street. Maybe some members would do it. But what would be a good incentive or prize to motivate them to play?

How about each member pools in what they could give as a prize?

Superman promises to gift fresh baked cookies by his mom

Black Canary promises doing their share of monitor duty

Other members promise other cool things, favors, etc. A good chunk of members are interested in playing, but not all. Batman still refuses to play, calling it childish

But

When it's Captain Marvel's turn to state what he's offering on the table for the winner, everyone's heads turn and can't believe what they just heard. Captain Marvel promised that he would reveal his secret identity to whoever wins.

Everyone is in an uproar and signing up to play. Batman included. He even gets his batfam to join the game. A lot of other members, too, are getting their sidekicks, friends and prodigies into the game.

Captain Marvel, the most extroverted and yet most private member of the league has never offered any information of his private life in the past four years he's been on the team, and now there's finally a chance to learn more about him

THROUGH A GAME?!?!

The Watchtower rioted that night and Captain Marvel began to regret his decision...

I started reading the older Shazam comics and my favourite part so far is that the writers literally just went “he can transform wherever, whenever and no one will know it’s him because it’s so sudden.”

The small child you were talking to was suddenly struck by lightning and now a tall muscular hero is in his place? Sure that’s normal and not concerning at all! The man gets hit by lightning and now the child is back, safe and sound? Well of course, why wouldn’t he be when their hero was just there to save them!

Billy is so casual about transforming in front of others and will do it multiple times in a single interaction and the world is none the wiser.

Imagine he tries to reveal his identity to the Justice League by taking them out to an empty field somewhere. There’s no one around for miles and the entire field is flat and empty so nothing can get destroyed by the lightning. They all gather around him, he says the magic word and…

“Where’d he go?”

The entire Justice League is stumped about where Captain Marvel went. Barry zips around the area a few times but can’t find him. Superman uses his X-ray vision to see if he’s underground somehow. Batman, worlds greatest detective, looks up to see if he flew away.

Billy just stands there. No one even looks at him because of course there’s a kid here, why wouldn’t there be?

I love it so much.

Fic that I can't believe I'm writing just updated

Summary:

"I uhh..." just say 'I've been sober for 10 years,' don't mess it up, "I'm.. pregnant.."

That was not what he meant to say.

OR

That time Billy accidentally convinced the League he was pregnant

Rating:

Archive Warning:

Fandoms:

Relationships:

Characters:

Additional Tags:

Language:English

Do you think that after being shocked by lightning more times than humanely possible, Billys heartbeat has changed to such an irregular pattern? Imagine with me:

Clark and Billy are under the same roof, think something of a journalism convention. Billy was invited due to his outstanding work at WHIZ Radio, and now gets to meet so many people that are both within his circle of work and outside of it.

Clark, while Billy is busy trying to get Jack Ryder to talk to literally Anyone Else, can't help but notice that. The kids heart is fucked. Like, just beyond belief.

It makes Clark's hair stand on end. He doesn't know if the kid knows that he has an arrhythmia. Clark can't tell him that he does either, because thats a giveaway to his identity. He cant just hint for the kid to get an ECG also, because who fucking says that upon first meeting. 'Greetings, nice to meet you! Not to worry you or anything, like, this geniunely comes from nowhere, but when was the last time you got a health checkup? Yeah, haha! Take care!'

Clark has to sit there, being chatted to by reporters, journalists, and others alike, trying not to rip his hair out. He's watching Billy listen attentively as others give him tips and tricks. Clark can't stop listening to the odd thumps of the boys heart.

I love Fucked Up Body Billy

Also love Fucked Up Body Cap

Billy has his arrhythmia, has shit circulation and hands are constantly frigid, and has a lot of hearing loss from his transformations that he needs hearing aids after a little over a year of being Captain Marvel (Thank you WHIZ Radio health benefits and Fawcetts ridiculous Child Rights to be adult) and has notable digs into his body or scarring around his wrists and ankles from years of kidnapping and the repeated rope burns. Include every batshit insane way he’s gotten out of his bonds and there’s scars and burns around his mouth area from the times he’s stuck his face to a buzzsaw or boat engine to cut off his gag and transform or the times he’s used fire to burn his gags away. Add in callouses, how underweight he is from a decade of his uncle neglecting him, stunted growth, and other remainders of his horrible health in childhood up to and including days spent in the cold begging for change and almost dying of exposure after sleeping in the snow when his uncle initially kicked him out and Billy is majorly fucked up inside and outside.

Cue Cap, who isn’t even mortal and has weird body functions that have Clark nervously side eying him. Bc Marvel doesn’t have a heart beat, he just sounds like the buzz of electricity between circuits or the static of radio waves if he tries to listen for one. He looks like a blot of light when he tries to X-ray for a skeleton, he looks uncannily perfect like a mental ideal more than a person, and in one comparison of Billy and Cap standing next to eachother + calculating with Billys canon height, Cap is just over NINE FEET TALL. He is a unit of magical power that gives Clark goose bumps and he does not like it

Clark sees Billy and worries himself gray about the health of that boy, Superman sees Captain Marvel and realizes in short order why some people got so freaked out by him once he got his first Kryptonian growth spurt and rocketed over a foot in the span of a few months.

The Captain bring a giant and complete unit is my favorite depiction of him

I want every single person who looks at that man to go "Mortal my ass"

(Below is height comparisons with the art that makes COA look like a unit)

I would love to add in the fun headcanon of the big three’s heights going Diana (who is herself very tall in the interpretations I love) Clark as a close second bc he is a huge slab of Kansas/Kryptonian beef, and then Bruce who is just a taller gentleman who probably gets an extra inch or so with his boots as Batman.

Clark and Diana can fly or hover a bit to be more eye level, Bruce cannot.

And I can’t decide what’s more funny, Billy floating in a sitting/resting position to be eye level or him casually picking Bruce up and holding him to his side so they’re more eye level. I am just imagining 8 1/2 foot Cap holding an embarrassed Bat on his hip like a kid as Clark and Diana roar with laughter

Cap hikes him up higher so he’s holding him up to be a little taller than him and Bruce just accepts his new brooding perch and keeps talking about the mission that was brought up.

Shorter members of the League get the scruffed treatment and carried around on Caps hips like a single dad, the piggy back rides are top tier. Cap bangs his head onto every door frame in the Watchtower and they all have to be raised cause he keeps putting dents in the metal.

Batman was caught being carried by Marvel once, a photo was taken, and now all his kids have seen their dad being carried around like a toddler despite the only 2 ft height difference.