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#i begin to pass out! my head hit the wall!!!!! – @hartigays on Tumblr
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@hartigays / hartigays.tumblr.com

sarah | 27 | they/them | bi
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nix-nihili

"kiss me."

it's a whisper, soft and breathy, and when charles doesn't say anything at first, edwin wonders if he'd said it at all; if the words had ever made it past the terrified tightening of his throat to sit between them like a ticking time bomb.

but the arms wrapped around him, grounding and warm as the sun had been on a crisp, bright day when he could still feel anything beyond his own orbital path's personal sun, tighten, loosen, then tighten again.

finally, charles pulls back from the embrace and stares at him – catalogues him. edwin resists the urge to shrink away. this is charles after all. charles who has seen him at his very worst in Hell. charles who would burn the world before ever even thinking of hurting him. charles who he is wholly, surely, utterly, in love with.

charles who may love him back.

edwin almost expects charles to pose a question, to ask him if he's sure? as if he could ever not be sure about this.

but charles doesn't do that.

there are hands on edwin's face, cupping his jaw, his chin, his cheeks, gently, oh so gently. another arm brackets his waist, pulling him flush against charles, closer than they already were. edwin sucks in an unneeded breath, his own hands suddenly unsure of where to rest but he doesn't get a chance to properly panic because-

because-

his first kiss had left him feeling like a fish out of water; surprised and confused. all of it had happened so quickly that edwin hadn't gotten a chance to process much of it at all.

but when charles tilts his head closer, closing the gap between them with a gentle tremor in his frame that edwin mirrors, the surprise that accompanies it is for an entirely different reason.

charles kisses like he's afraid. charles kisses like it's his last. charles kisses like he's withholding.

edwin shall not have any of it.

with a crashing tidal wave of confidence, edwin reaches up to hold charles' face, one hand sinking into his curls as he deepens the kiss. there's a gasp, the hand on his waist tightening, and edwin takes advantage of the opening with fully formed intent until they're both crushed together, utterly unsure and uncaring as to where one of them begins and the other ends.

it doesn't matter. none of it matters. all that matters is the positively sinful sounds charles seems to be unknowingly making, causing edwin to sink and fall and topple into the all-encompassing pit that is charles rowland.

a tick, or two, or a hundred pass before they finally separate, panting with the force of it all.

"that was-" charles starts, then stops, gaze flitting all over edwin's face with an entirely different sort of cataloguing aim. edwin finds himself doing much the same: charles looks delightful, cheeks barely coloured crimson, curls falling out of place, and eyes wide.

his lips look thoroughly kissable, a quality edwin had not realised could be heightened and he almost pulls charles in again before charles says- swears, "I love you."

there is a place in edwin's chest that once contained his beating heart, an organ that had only found itself thrumming away thrice after his death: twice in hell and once in port townsend.

and then, here, standing across from charles, does edwin find his heart restarting to the sound of those words. the three words that leave him reeling far more than the kiss ever could have. the three words that pull him closer to the centre of his orbiting pathway to leave a softer, but just as searing kiss.

"I love you too," he says into it with a smile and a beating heart and a love that is mirrored.

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