i don't think anyone even understands how excited i am about going away. a week today i will be sat on a plane flying towards nine months of doing whatever i like. of a cold snowy christmas, of giant trees and christmas lights. of spending time with my amazing grandma, who is not just willing but HAPPY AND EXCITED to have me staying with her for the next nine months. i'm looking forward to sitting in tim horton's when it's cold drinking hot chocolate, and buying the lush vegetarian ham they have in sobey's. i'm looking forward to spending time ice skating, and maybe seeing if my cousin can teach me how to play icy hockey. i'm looking forward to a different pace of live, to being the one who's different for a good reason - because i'm english, because i don't quite belong. but i can't even explain how much canada feels like home to me, it just feels right whenever i go there and i'm so, so excited. i want to be able to paint and sketch whenever i like, to bake with no thought of time restraints or whether i will have time to wash up afterwards. to learn how to cook properly, to learn things from my grandma, to get to know my extended family better. i'm looking forward to seeing maggie and allie at some point. and whether or not i have anyone to go with i'm looking forward to going to disneyland and harry potter world. i'm looking forward to travelling, to discovering new places and new things about myself. and most of all i'm looking forward to being free.
no amount of nerves or homesickness will take that away from me. i'm so not ready, but oh so excited.