Hot Super Kawaii

Dungeons and Dragons, but your character must be a self insert, and class is determined by your current abilities Barbarian Must have a demonstrable temper, go off I guess  Bard Must be able to play an instrument Cleric Must be involved in a religious organization Druid Must have demonstrable knowledge of, or passion for nature  Fighter Must beat the DM in physical combat (hope your DM’s a wimp)  Monk Must practice a martial art  Paladin Must have a cause that one actively supports  Ranger Must be able to fire a kind of ranged weapon accurately  Rogue Must sneak up on the DM (Hard mode: steal their dice)  Sorcerer Must have a powerful family heirloom  Warlock Must work for a powerful entity (Corporations, The Government)  Wizard Must have a College Degree or a 3.0 GPA  If you can’t be any of these you start as a commoner, and may become one of these classes when you finally satisfy these conditions.

Being kink positive makes it really hard to be a hater of media rip. I used to love watching “the WORST book I’ve read this year” booktube videos but now its like I hear them ask, “Who is this werewolf smut even for?” Omegaverse fans, next question. “Why would you write this?” Because they find it sexy, can we stop focusing on the ewie yucky kink part and focus on the fact that the author used the word knot five times in a single scene? It’s bad werewolf erotica, but it’s not bad because it’s werewolf erotica like come on

So, FYI you guys, sometimes if you go to your favorite writers and flail at them a lot about how much you love their fics with lots of specific examples, they will let you read thousands of words of their unpublished WIPs and you can flail even more. Also sometimes after that you get to be friends, too, and help them come up with ideas. And vice versa! This is pretty much the best thing in the world and it is called fandom.

You’re married to your phone background/lockscreen how fucked are you

today's children are gonna become teens and clown the shit out of us for 'eepy' and 'blorbo' but they'll say it in cocomelonese so we won't understand them

today’s eepy blorbo is yesterday’s heckin doggo is last week’s smexy bishie

I hate that you're right and that I understood all of that.

i understand why people like the queue and i do respect you guys for using it but that is just not how i roll. if i think these 37 posts are funny you’re seeing them right fucking now

Sorry to keep doing this but does anyone need a commission? 🫣💦💦

Senpai says you’re welcome

Reblogging again because I just realized that if I had this advice in high school I would’ve never made a tumblr account.

Also works for most of those news sites like WSJ or NYT that only let you read a little bit, or block adblockers. Also some disable the scroll bar but if you go to the right side of the console after hitting F12 and look for the CSS element “overflow” and change it from “hidden” to “visible” then you can continue scrolling for free. Might have to click around on different parts of the page to find it, but it should work.

There’s also a Firefox/Chrome extension called Behind The Overlay that does all that with one mouse click. Used it for years; what a time saver.

And if you encounter a true paywall, use Archive.Today to bypass it. Just paste the paywalled url into the blue “search archived snapshots” box near the bottom:

Not gonna lie friends. I would like to feel desired and feel like someone’s first choice

Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you

the zootopia abortion comic isnt even the worst zootopia comic. not by a long shot

You guys don't know about the comic where Nick confesses his love to Judy and she shoots him down to get dicked down by another rabbit who leaves her when she gets pregnant and now Nick says he'll help raise her kids while hoping that he'll convince her to fuck him

Or about the one where Judy and Nick are married want to have a kid so Judy starts fucking rabbits to get pregnant but secretly keeps taking her birth control bc she likes cheating on Nick and convinces him that they should have a cuckoldry relationship that involves another fox and Nick is no longer allowed to have sex at all

Or the one where Judy tries to go undercover at a strip club to find a drug ring and she becomes an addict to the point of stealing drugs from the police evidence lockers and getting her holes prolapsed by drug dealers

Or the one where Nick meets up with the otter lady from the beginning of the movie who was trying to find her missing husband, and he convinces her to fuck him while lying to her husband and kids and getting her pregnant

Bc I hate myself

me and the tumblrinas waking up every morning blocking and reporting

tumblr polls have amplified the human need to vote on things. this place just became the roman senate

gay sex will not fix this situation. honestly, it'd probably make it worse. that being said i think we should give it a shot anyway

Tumblr finally gives us the option to poll each other and the first immediate thing we did was have a poll that was just racing a snail, a caterpillar, and a worm.

And it was so magnificent that both bug and bug race are trending.

I love you guys. I could kill you for not crowning worm the winner, though.

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

happy 10 years of spiders georg everyone