I'm a Dam Halfblood!

“I don’t know if it’s legal, that my passport picture is actually me as Peggy Carter.”

you know what trope pisses me off the most? when the protag is pointing a gun at somebody and they’re like “you won’t do it. you’re too good” and the person holding the gun is like oh shit i am and they slowly lower the gun while the other person laughs. WHAT THE FUCK. if i were there, and somebody told me “you won’t do it” i would immediately shoot them dead without hesitating. who are you to tell me what i wont do. musty bitch

We’ll learn more if we play along.

[gay panic]

person topping me: ok turn around me: every now and then i get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming round person topping me: …♫ turn around ♫

the only valid part in blood of olympus is when percy says they should summon Nike by promoting adidas

maybe it’s…. subtle.

REVIEWS FOR VENOM JUST CAME IN AND IT’S A 28% ON ROTTEN TOMATOES!!!!!! THIS MOVIES GONNA BE SO FUCKIN FUNNY IM SO EXCITED. GOD I LOVE TERRIBLE SPIDERMAN MOVIES

“If you replaced Tom Hardy for Steve Martin in “All of Me,” and switched out Lily Tomlin for a wad of chewed-up black licorice, you’d have “Venom.”“

“When a major fight scene resembles a pair of black pants caught in a white wash, it’s fair to say you haven’t taken the audience with you.”

“It’s a train wreck of a movie, mixing and matching wildly dissonant tones, bizarre plot contrivances, and a truly unique lead performance.”

“Tom Hardy seems to be trying to be the first actor to win an Oscar and a Razzie for the same performance.”

“A film that feels like what you’d expect from a below average superhero flick circa 2004, like Ghost Rider or Fantastic Four.”

^ some of my fave critic review excerpts. i have never been more excited

some more

“The movie is so ridiculous that many viewers will at least be entertained in a dumbfounded way.” “Think Affleck Daredevil. Think Ang Lee Hulk. Think Halle Berry Catwoman. That’s… I mean, that’s really all there is to be said, I think.” “This is a movie that somehow slipped through a wormhole from 2004. That’s my biggest take. It’s a movie that spilled from the pre-MCU era through a crack in time and space… The humor, the story beats, everything right down to the Eminem theme song feels like it emerged Kimmy Schmidt style from a sealed off early ‘00s bunker.” “Sorry to say that Venom is pretty much a complete failure — a tonal mess that feels 15 years old, ignoring the storytelling strides that the superhero genre has made in recent years.” “Not sure I had the intended reactions to some scenes, but fun is fun — even when it’s totally ridiculous, right? It’s too bad they didn’t go for the R rating, though.” “The cast seems to all know they’re in a darker superhero movie, except Tom Hardy who is basically remaking Jim Carrey’s Liar Liar.” “At one point Tom Hardy and Venom make out.”

gonna go see it just for the make out honestly

I was completely fine and then “At one point Tom Hardy and venom make out”

romance movie scene where when the dude throws pebbles at the girl’s window it breaks the window and hits her in the head so they take her to the ER and she falls in love with a nice girl in the waiting room who has a broken leg

Don’t touch her!