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Scheduled Message

Obi-Wan: [being awakened by a sound coming from a trunk in his room] Wha–? [opens the trunk and picks up an old comm]  [a holo pops up]  Ahsoka: [at an awkward angle, looking into the camera] OK, I think it’s recording. Oh! Yikes, that was filming right up my nose. Sorry.   Anakin: [turns it upside down] Wait, no, that’s not right. [turns it again] There. All right. [clears throat] Obi-Wan, if you’re seeing this, it means it’s a very important day.  Ahsoka: [excitedly] Happy 50th Birthday, Master Kenobi!  Anakin: Ahsoka and I are recording this now, and I’ve rigged it so that this recording will auto-play for you in 14 years.  Ahsoka: [giggling] So, uh, sorry if this just started playing in the middle of a Council meeting or something.  Anakin: [lowering his voice] You’re right behind us in the other room right now, and believe it or not, you’re actually asleep!  Ahsoka: We’re on a very boring mission – Anakin: – Seriously. The worst. Ahsoka: …so we decided to make a 50th Birthday Wish List for you, which we will now read aloud. [pulls out a data pad] On his 50th birthday, we hope Master Kenobi will get… Anakin: [reading] An afternoon of very boring holoshows. With no one to bother him. Or make fun of his terrible taste.  Ahsoka: …a tin of that fancy Alderaanian tea he likes. Anakin: …a new cloak. Because we assume he’ll need one. [pointing at the camera] Because you always do.  Ahsoka: …a crossword puzzle that neither Anakin nor myself have partially filled in with rude words.  Anakin: …a personal trip to Mandalore. [pointing at the camera again, winking] I put that one on there for you. And I think we both know why. [waggles his eyebrows] Ahsoka: …a full day where Master Skywalker doesn’t ask him for anything stupid.  Anakin: Hey!  Ahsoka: [laughs] …a lothcat from a rescue shelter. Don’t lie, Master, we all know you want one.  Anakin: …a joyride on a speeder bike with your favorite, and only, former Padawan. Don’t lie about that one, either – you know you’d love it. [frowning] And also I better still be your only Padawan.  Ahsoka: [rolling her eyes and smiling]  Anakin: In conclusion, we hope that whatever you’re doing right now, you’re having a good day.  Ahsoka: I also hope you’re busy showing my Padawan how to do a proper robe drop! Happy birthday, Master. [waves]  Anakin: [smiling] …happy birthday, old man. Now go find me and tell me what a great and handsome friend I am. [reaches forward and turns off the recording] 

The tags on this old post continue to make me feel like a supervillain or something and honestly, I’m completely here for it.