I made something

The reason why the sequels failed so spectacularly at being Star Wars movies has…a pretty basic reason. But it’s not exactly what everybody thinks it is. In my opinion, that happened because they weren’t directed by George Lucas. Not because he’s just a better director or he had more creative ideas, or he made Star Wars out of passion and not for money (all of that too, ofc). The main reason is that Star Wars (prequels and ot) is a structure, where everything clicked eventually. It has a solid base for storytelling, it has fantastic parallels, basically, quoting Lucas, it’s like poetry. It rhymes.

The sequels, unfortunately, weren’t made that way. They were filmed to, let’s be frank here, suck out more money out of Star Wars. I don’t think that the directors were milking a dead cow, which The Mandalorian illustrates perfectly, they just didn’t have the same dedication, vision, passion, drive and, most importantly, goal. They wanted more viewers, more dollars, more fame. They did get some of that, TFA alone brought Disney more than a billion dollars. But their quality, despite their success (well, depends on how you define it), became much, much worse. Simply because the sequels weren’t part of that poetry, that elegant structure that Anakin Skywalker’s story was in the prequels and the OT.

I present you the weirdest ass Star Wars ships I found on ✨shipping wiki✨

what the fuuuck? Jyn would have been around Leia’s age by the time of the First Order. Would it mean old Jyn x Snoke? Or young Jyn x ….young Snoke? I just….I have so many questions that I sincerely don’t want to get answers for

This is even worse than Enoke, honestly. What kind of a perverted mind must you have to come up with this shit?? I don’t want to even imagine what this ship includes in itself.

Considering the fact that Han is around sixty when he meets Rey, I’ve got the same questions as with Enoke. Is he Rey’s smuggler sugar daddy?

This is probably a joke ship. U know, the two most annoying Star Wars characters together. But still…….. *internal screaming*

This is just a sequel to Enoke that gets progressively worse. Like some other sequels that we know…

After Rosinks this doesn’t even feel weird. At least one of them isn’t a space lizard.

The name says it all. I literally gagged when I saw this.

Now comes the time for torture

I won’t say anything but, from the depths of my heart: why? This is just…a lizard and a bug fucking, then a lizard and a crocodile, a frog and a teenager…im surprised there is no Yoda x Jar Jar for that matter

Again, a good ship won’t be named fucking Palpoke

And if the rest wasn’t weird enough for you:

Luke attempting to kill Kylo is the dumbest, wildest scene in all Star Wars because Luke? The one that brought Darth fucking Vader back to the light through nothing but faith and love? The one that joined the rebellion as soon as he found out about it? The one that saved his friends multiple times by being calm, collected, confident and patient? That Luke definitely isn’t a mad grandpa that murders kids in their beds. I swear, JJ Abrams, Rian Johnson and Kathleen Kennedy either haven’t seen the ot, or have sclerosis, one of the two.

What your favourite Star Wars movies say about you:

Original Trilogy — you’ve probably loved SW since you were a child. You feel a deep emotional connection with Luke Skywalker and that dramatic sunset scene, don’t lie. Your relationship with your dad is either amazing or you have daddy issues. Old movies in general > new movies in general. Nice music taste.

Prequels — they’re either your comfort movies or the movies that you feel low-key have an extremely important meaning to you, no in between. You can love things despite them being not perfect or even bad. You’re probably a super fan, you’ve seen everything and even more, and still love the prequels. U loveeee memes. Can’t decide who is hotter, Ewan, Natalie or Hayden.

Clone Wars — ok you are a disaster, just admit it. Fantastic sense of humour. Rewatch movies to find new meanings and details in them. A 65% chance that you’re gay. You have a lot of thoughts on SW, sometimes you wonder, whether that’s even okay. You just think a lot in general. You probably don’t like the sequels. Clones supremacy. You either write fanfiction, posts, create edits, etc about SW.

Rebels — wow ur rare. But props to you for not following the crowd and overlooking the stereotypes (in general, even). In love with Sabine Wren. Either mom friend or disaster friend. Artsy???? Never understand what’s going on but always ready to fight. Low key dream of going to the SW universe and fighting as a rebel too. Creative mind.

Rogue One — you can rewatch it a billion times and love it even more each time. Like to travel. Not really good with emotions but feel a lot of them deep inside. Cassian and Jyn are your favourite ship ever. Independent and straightforward. You can also be quite quiet and just fine with spending time on your own, but value friendship if you have it. Ur just cool.

Mandalorian — you’re probably a new fan?? Baby Yoda is life. You are also activistic. Queer? Yeah, that too. Have style and can look cool, but a huge softie on the inside. Cry during movies. Aren’t very attentive but you’re fun to be around. You have a Tik Tok account, maybe even quite a lot of followers. You love Marvel too. Emotional.

Sequels — Adam Driver means a lot to you. You think he’s super hot. Also you love Reylo. Kind of in love with everyone there? Cosplay. Love modern sci-fi a lot, watch movies for the picture more than for the plot. Dog lover. Also amazing style. Friendly and open-minded, but easy to offend. Have issues with taking criticism. Cute. Hopeless romantic.

This is all made for fun and isn’t 100% accurate. Not meant to offend anyone.