you grow up surrounded by rain,
you grow up watching thousands of faces just like yours
scrunch their noses up the same way as you
you grow into men and pass trials, and win fake games
only to get to the real world one day,
where there is sunshine and clear skies, and purple ferns,
and cows, and children that don’t look identical,
and stumble upon war
you fight battle after battle,
watch your brothers scrunch their noses up one last time
after a bomb, this time real, exploded a meter too close to them
you get a chance not to look like a copy anymore
you’ve never felt like one anyway
different armour, different hair, different tattoos
even the look in your eyes is different now,
though the eyes themselves stay the same
brown eyes that used to be so golden under the luminescent light
of home
eyes that don’t glow with dreams and don’t wish for glory anymore
eyes that see death every day
and dream of it at night
and of something else
the second thing all of you share in common
the last thing
the question, the goal and the purpose
something that you don’t understand,
but it’s always been there,
as vague as smoke and as unclear as stardust
until one day it starts shining with blinding clearness,
and your look is just the same once again,
only instead of gold it’s ice and glass
the last victory
death.