just fyi y'all i'm not going to be on here for the next month because of ramadan. i have deffo been on tumblr way too much this year already, lol, so it's time for me to be away from here for a bit. i will also be pausing my queue since that's a new function on here apparently. anyone who really needs to reach me should already know how to <3

i'll be back in a month!

zariadriannatomaz >>> zaritomaz

GOD TIER URL BITCHES

I know I reblogged that ask meme and I will do the remaining ones in my inbox tomorrow - just feel overwhelmed with sleepiness and want to take advantage of that feeling 😂

to the anon who made that request - I will see if I can do it, but it won’t be till after ramadan is over so probably in the next week, because I’m crazy busy right now. just fyi. hopefully I’ll be a lot freer once ramadan is over.

yo, just an fyi everyone, I’m knee-deep in interview prep and will be until friday. and ramadan may start tonight so like. I might not be on here as much. but then it depends on how the interview goes - if I get the job, I might be swamped. if I don’t get the job, I’ll probably stress gif lol. we’ll see.

logging out for a bit. in a bit of a funky headspace and I need to just not think for a while.

will be back before feb starts for femslash feb over on canarynetwork tho :)

okay. so. here's the deal. I've been a bit of a mess the last few weeks, mostly because of various things that have come up. in the style of the new group therapy sessions for cognitive behavioural therapy I've been going to I've realised that my worries are mostly of the hypothetical variety (i.e. I'm worrying about something that I don't know will happen or that I could do nothing about to stop worrying about it), but also that some are practical (as in I could do something to actively change things and then I would stop worrying) or they fall in the middle.

lately what's been bothering me is all the horrible pelvic pain I've had since the doc put me on the pill. the doc spoke to me when I told them about the increased pain and I'm going to see a gynaecologist this week about it. but I'm dreading a) the internal examination which I think I've mentioned before just sounds really daunting, b) the options presented to me if it is endometriosis, which are most likely laproscropic surgery given hormonal treatment didn't seem to work and c) all the fallout that would come from me having surgery for the first time in my life and the trials of recovery.

then there's also work which hasn't been great atm for various reasons. plus I also am worrying a lot about how impossible it feels to write anything right now. like I'm so blocked rn and it's driving me nuts because writing is the thing that grounds me during times like these. I say what I want to say via a character and I feel better. I can't do that anymore though.

and I've been finding that in lieu of that, I've just been scrolling mindlessly through tumblr, twitter and other social media, not really taking stuff in. even zombie giffing because there is literally nothing else that seems to be working for me.

all of that combined with the constant feeling that my uterus is gonna yeet itself out of my body bc of how fucking squirmy it gets down there - well, suffice it to say I've got a lot on my mind. and I need deal with that instead of engaging in what my therapist calls avoidance behaviours.

so I'm going to give it a go. I'm logging out for the time being and will be back in a week I hope.

see y'all on the other side :)

so my good friend @laurielance recently created a new blog, @canarynetwork, dedicated to all the canaries and arrow women. I am a new member, but if you’re not already and you love the ladies on arrow, please go and follow! :D and if you are already following, please signal boost this so we can get the word out :)

yo so I should say that things have been overwhelmingly busy for me lately, and that has meant anons and comments have gone unanswered - I will try to get to them, but I promise I’m not ignoring anyone. just have a lot of rl shit going rn

okay! it is 9.30am on a saturday and I have exactly zero (0) obligations for once. I have also watched the latest killjoys episode and now want to fling myself into the sun. 

if anyone has gif requests, hit me up! I just got one on anon and will work on that, but if there’s a particular scene you want to see, just let me know :)

okay so here's the deal my dudes, I know that the killjoysedit tag has been somewhat dead but I'm gonna put on my cape and try remedy that. so, if anyone has gif requests, particularly of the dutchjohnny variety, pls hit me up! regardless I will be giffing some of my favourite parallels but I wanted to open it up as I have had a couple requests already - anon I see you and will get to it once I figure out which scene you're talking about haha

okay so here's the deal my dudes. I just got some bad news - we got an eviction notice, and it's the real deal official thing. I would preferably like to curl into a ball and/or bury myself in a load of gifsets in a burst of manic energy as a response to this. but I don't think that's going to help matters any, so I'm gonna try a different approach. not going into it here, but the short version is that I'm busy adulting the next few days so I may not get to messages etc straightaway. I'm not ignoring anyone, just busy for reasons I'd rather not be busy for.

okay! so I have a few asks in my inbox that are nice ones that I want to answer properly about fandom things, but right now I think I'm not in the right headspace for various reasons. therefore, if you've sent me an ask, on anon or otherwise, I promise I'm not ignoring anyone and I'll get to your ask eventually. :)

so I have mentioned it and honestly I was in two minds about this which is why I haven't said anything definitive either way. but I have decided that for the month of ramadan which could be starting tomorrow, I'm going to take a step back from fandom. maybe I'll have a queue running that entire time. maybe not. rn tho I am just - kind of exhausted from life and I feel like I need a detox. most importantly I want to see if I can kickstart my writing as it's been lagging for a while now.

I'll still be around on whatsapp and I'm happy to give out my number to any mutuals who want it. I am hoping that come this time next month I'll be in a better place and so can then resume making content.

I do want to thank everyone on here for providing me with ample distractions when I needed them the most, from friendly anons to mutuals to people who have helped with my lowkey obscure queries for fanfic. I appreciate you all more than I could ever say.

so long and thanks for the fish and all that :)