Breathe. Three deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth.
Good.
Now, look around and name four things you can see.
Great.
Now, take a moment, and name five things you can feel.
Perfect.
And, just like that, you don’t sound like you’re suffocating.
Now, quit thinking about everything that could go wrong and focus on what’s happening around you.
If you don’t, you’ll miss the beauty in being alive.
One moment, I was holding you in my arms while you made another corny joke that I couldn’t help but smile at. The next, i was crying myself to sleep at 3am and struggling to remember how to breathe. I don’t know what changed.
(J)
And just like that, I was no longer feeling the soft caress of your fingertips grazing my arms. Now, I only feel the buzzing of my phone as you send your final goodbye text. Soon, I’ll be feeling the haptic feedback as I try to find the right words to say to bring you back. Finally, I’ll feel the empty void in my chest when I stare blankly into my phone. My eyes hovering at your name. Completely out of words that explain how much I miss you.
(J)
You don’t know how many nights I spent lying awake, trying to think of a way to tell you that I’m not okay. But seeing your smile in the morning helped me forget about my pain. It helped me escape.
(J)
(J)
I wanted to tell you. You don’t know how badly I wanted to make like my guts and spill. I just couldn’t. Not again. Not after what happened the last time I opened up to someone I loved. Everytime I tried to force the words out, all the horrible memories came flooding back. Smothering the sentence before it could leave my lips. I was suffocating on past sorrows. That is, until I realized I was missing one crucial detail. You’re not her. You’re anything but her. You didn’t get mad when I tried to talk about our problems. You understood me. You reassured me. And, most importantly, you loved me.
— whatever pronoun relates to you :) (J)
— I thought I meant something to you... (J)
— All I ask is that you be honest with me...(J)
(J)
— No matter how much I try to be there for you, you still don't trust me with the real you. (J)
— Amber Run
— I miss her so much, but I can't go back. (J)
— but at least I get to see you smile again. (J)
— this is why we can't go back to being friends...(J)
