Hooooly shit

sometimes I randomly remember Abigail Adams saying she "saw evil in Hamilton's eyes" like he probably just needed to take lithium idk maybe don't be an asshole about it

yeah

Insanity about a particular guy will have you reading master’s thesis papers from random people

im just a medieval teenage girl writing sold to the round table fanfictions

there was no George Washington. He was actually three fairy brothers named Was, Hing, and Ton. They each had one wooden tooth and lived in a cherry tree. They were forced to serve the sorcerer John Adams after he tricked them into walking across a line of two toned rope. Benjamin Franklin was a mechanical construct. The history has been distorted over time.

[conservative historian voice] meanwhile, as the french revolution grew unsteady maximilien robespierre ate babies

mark antony voice how does a balding lying son of a pleb and an eques

(after the ides)

cicero misunderstanding modern slang: I'd eat him with no crumbs

us: cicero that doesn't mean like literally is more like serving—

cicero: I'd serve his body up

us: cicero no i mean slay but

cicero: id slay him too

fingerblasting him in the foru m

starting a rumour that clodius was only that antagonistic to cicero because he wanted to fuck that old man.

When I was 35 I had a crush on a guy in my senate & didnt know how to deal w it so I wrote him a law that just said "get out of my city"

where's that post that's like we have to invent gaylors but for marcus tullius cicero