Cheating is often considered one of the worst things that can happen in a relationship – and for good reason. Infidelity, whether it’s physical (hooking up) or emotional (having an intense emotional connection with another person that doesn’t involve hooking up), is the ultimate betrayal to many people. It feels like your significant other is stabbing you in the back, slowly, and then watching you die without sympathy. It may sound dramatic, but it can be very accurate – cheating sucks, and can quickly lead to the end of a relationship. That being said, though, there actually might be some other bad things that can happen in a relationship that are even worse.
Let me paint the picture of an all too familiar scenario for many of us. We have a fun, steamy hookup with someone we don’t know super well, we aren’t sure if they’ll want to hang out again, but we want to ensure that we’ll see them again soon – so, instead of making set plans or taking the risk and waiting for a text, we pull the timeless trick of leaving something at their place...
Guys like to act like they’re the only ones who have to deal with rejection, but that’s definitely not the case. Girls have to deal with rejection all the time. Whether your crush stops talking to you at school, ghosts on you, or hooks up with you and then never calls, women face the same struggles as men when it comes to being let down by the people they like. Often, you’re left wondering what you can do to “wash that man (or woman) right out of your hair” (as my mom would say) and get on with your life instead of stewing about the fact you’ve been turned down.
So, let’s say that you have a crush. In fact, at this point, it’s surpassed the realm of being a mere crush, and has developed into an actual, full-fledged, veritable “thing.” You and your crush have been “talking.” “Hanging out.” “Hooking up.” You know, those words that get thrown around to signify that you’re together without actually being together, and that something is happening–probably–but you’re not totally sure what, exactly.
Aside from moans and groans during sex, there’s no sexier noise than a little dirty talk. Even Jason Derulo likes it, as he expresses so subtly in one of his hit songs: “Talk dirty to me.” If you’ve never whispered sweet nothings to your partner in a sultry voice when you’re together, there’s nothing to be nervous about! Talking dirty is actually easier than you think!
Everyone says that high school relationships never last past graduation, which is literally the last thing you want to hear as you clutch bae’s hand and make promises to each other that you’ll make it through college together. But guess what? Just because everyone says it doesn’t mean it’s true. It is possible for relationships to last past high school, into college, and maybe even after college… and if your relationship is going to make it, there are some definite signs.
Flirting, as most of us have learned at this point in our lives, is not exactly the easiest thing in the world. I mean, sure, maybe you are one of those people who happened to be born with a natural inclination towards flirtation and, as such, your eyes bat of their own accord. Witty, spirited remarks flow out of your mouth unprompted. Perhaps your carefree, lighthearted laugh has surpassed even Rachel McAdams‘ in terms of attraction potential. If this is the case, that is great, I am very happy for you, and you can probably stop reading this article right now.
It’s time to get real about relationships! Your boyfriend does small things that get on your nerves, and you do little things that annoy your boyfriend, too. It comes with being in love, unfortunately – you have to take the good with the bad. If you’ve been dating for a while, you probably have a pretty good idea of the things you do that really get under bae’s skin. Sometimes, though, your boyfriend gets secretly annoyed about little things you’re saying or doing, and he keeps it to himself. You could be driving him crazy, and you have no idea.
In many ways, this past weekend was one much like any other. March Madness entered full throttle. Ted Cruz continued his wild crusade as the Zodiac Killer. And, of course, Justin Bieber posted a photo on Instagram, as he does nearly every weekend. But this photo was not any photo, however–no, this was a grainy, vintage screen-cap picture of Justin and Selena Gomez wearing matching sunglasses and makin’ out in an unidentified body of water. Now, for the Jelena shippers among us (hi, Drake), this might have been the Best Picture Ever, and the reaction to the photo, comment-wise, basically boiled down to various interpretations of “YES” “Yaaaaassss” and “Goals” (plus the odd “I HATE Selena that should be me” and “lb for lb”):
Texting is something that is supposed to make our lives easier – so why is it that it so often ends up making our lives even more confusing?! This most often applies to those moments when you’re texting your crush and you have no idea what to say. Or you know exactly what you want to say, you’re just too scared to send it. Hey, it happens to the best of us! The guy you like sees the three dots appear on his phone, then disappear…appear, then disappear. You’re being totally indecisive about your text - you want to send him something but you’re not sure if you should! Ugh.
The beginning of every relationship is always a little weird , right? You have to get used to another person’s oddities and quirks (and let them get used to yours). Try to figure out what, exactly, is juuuuust the right amount to be texting them (too little seems uninterested; too much seems clingy). And, of course,you have to know when the right time is to stop acting polite and proper around them (like Drake and Rihanna in the “What’s My Name” video) and when you can really become your true, weird self (like Drake and Rihanna in the “Work” video. Either part one or part two).
The most exciting and nerve-wracking part of any relationship is the very beginning, when you’re not even sure if you’re in a relationship, or if things will become serious. This is basically the “courtship” phase, as it used to be referred to, although now you probably use some equally eloquent and straight-forward term like “talking” or “hanging out.” (How did we get here?) While there is something to be said for the nervous butterflies you feel whenever you wonder if you and bae will become boyfriend and girlfriend, it is also pretty terrifying. You spend a lot of time wondering when he is going to define the relationship, or if you should be the one to do it, or if maybe it will never happen.
I’m in my first relationship right now, and while it is almost at the two year mark and doesn’t seem to have an expiration date anywhere in sight, I’m still freaking out about it on a regular basis. When you see so many relationships end, it’s hard not to think that your relationship will face the same fate sooner rather than later. This isn’t without precedent, obviously: most relationships don’t last. But having that fact lurking in the back of your mind isn’t a healthy way to enjoy your time as a couple–trust me, I’ve tried it, and all it did was make me overthink everything and drive me crazy.
Falling in love can be one of the best feelings in the world. Hell, studies have shown that our brain reacts similarly to being in love as it does to being high on drugs, so I’m not just trying to be flowery…science backs me up here. But what about falling out of love? Well, obviously that feeling sucks, but it can be really hard for us to accept. I mean, who wants to give up on something that used to make us feel so good?