Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m kind of in the mood to set something on fire and watch it burn. For, like, eight whole days (and nights). And eat some fried potatoes and chocolate that tastes suspiciously of tinfoil while I do so. But not, like, in a weird way or anything–it’s simply the reason for the season.
The Hanukkah season, that is.
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My dad is a lapsed Catholic and my mom a religously apathetic (but culturally fervent) Jew. Ergo, I am half Christian and half a Jew (which some people refer to as being a “Cashew,” a term I have always rejected because it doesn’t make all that sense, phonetics or imagery-wise). As such, I get to have two winter holidays, both Christmas and Hannukah (well, three if you count the Winter solstice, which my burgeoning hippie parents have been known to do).
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I’ve been single for a while and, for the most part, I’m actually pretty into it. Not being betrothed means that I never have to share my snacks, for example. My life is essentially guaranteed to be breakup-free until the next time I’m in a relationship. And, potentially, best of all, my legs are free to shave or leave unshorn as I please. The list goes on (no, really, it does.)
I’d be a fraud, however, if I were to say that being single is 100% amazing all the time. I mean, of course it isn’t–that’s why dating apps like Tinder (which should never have seen the light of day) do so well–people don’t want to be alone forever, and it makes sense–there are some things that go along with single hood that are..
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Baby It's Cold Outside: This is the worst Christmas song ever. Technically, it’s just about winter, but it’s never played after Christmas so it’s a Christmas song. Anyway, the original song is creepy as hell because it’s about date rape. The woman in the song keeps trying to leave, but the man is being uncomfortably persistent by telling her not to because A. “it’s cold outside,” B. “no cabs to be had out there,” C. “What’s the sense in hurting my pride?”, D. “Think of my life-long sorrow/If you got pneumonia and died.” So we have weather, transportation, pride, and guilt-tripping as tricks to get this woman to stay.
Oh and then there’s fact that she keeps saying “No” over and over. And THEN there’s the whole drugging situation: “But maybe just half a drink more” and she later asks, “Say what’s in this drink?”
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It’s holiday time, which means that we’re going to be inundated with a holiday episode of every single TV show ever. If it’s not a Charlie Brown Christmas playing in the evening then it’s a Gilmore Girls Christmas episode rerun in the afternoon and a Pretty Little Liars Christmas episode at night.
But, uh, surprise surprise, not everyone celebrates Christmas!
There are a few non-Christmas holiday episodes here and there but here are seven that are actually fun to watch. Check ‘em out with a big cup of hot chocolate.
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