Hi Heather,
I’m 15-years-old. There is a guy that I’ve liked for quite some time, about two years to be exact. He goes to my school and when I first met him, he was all I ever wished for in a boy… kind, amazing sense of humor, good looking, and a bit cocky. We became very good friends (still are) and I think that at some point he even liked me a bit, but then he got into this “f*ckboy” phase. Soon, all of the boys, him included, only cared about making out, having sex, sexting, and who got the most girls. He has had a few girlfriends who are all shallow but gorgeous, and one is older. He is pretty experienced when it comes to sexual stuff, even though he’s still a virgin. I, on the other hand, have never kissed a boy, not even a peck on the lips. I’ve never had a boyfriend, which I know isn’t bad or something to be ashamed of. Obviously some guys call me a prude, but I couldn’t care less.
A year has passed, and he has completely changed. I’ve had my doubts about him, but he did change. At a recent party, he was a little tipsy and he confessed to me that he wanted to kiss me. The thing is, it’s not that I don’t want to kiss him, I’m just literally TERRIFIED of doing it. My fear of kissing wrong or bad is slowly but surely ruining my chances with this guy. I have this fear in my head that even if he told me it didn’t matter to him if I were bad, he would still secretly judge me. I really want my first kiss to be with this guy, but I’m so scared I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid of being a bad kisser. What can I do to overcome this fear?
Okay, I’m going to be real here: I was never a big fan of Full House growing up and rarely watched it; when it came to family sitcoms, I was more of a French Prince of Bel-Air kind of girl. But any episode of Full House that I actually recall quite well were usually very special episodes ridden with corny, condescending dialogue. To be fair, the ’80s and ’90s were rife with injecting tough subject matter into sitcoms, but few tackled them a way that didn’t feel like a D.A.R.E. lecture, and Full House was a good example. Maybe one of the reasons is because the characters on that show were so wholesome, so almost all of the bad and risky behavior involved other people doing them so that the Tanners could always have the moral high ground. Yawn.
One of my earliest articles here at Gurl was about how I had never been kissed. I was 22-years-old and totally devoid of any real romantic contact with another human being; I’d never even been on a date! I didn’t really care that much, at least not in the sense of being super upset about it or feeling sorry for myself. But I definitely was at a point in my life where I was like, hm, yeah, I really wouldn’t mind getting in on this kissing stuff.
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Featured on our “Ask Gurl” SnapChat today: We ask Shayne Topp, Keith Leak, and Flitz from Smosh what they wish they knew before their first kiss.
There are lots of things in this world in which you realize, upon their occurrence, the expectation totally outweighs the reward. School dances, for example, or eating at that cool new restaurant that everyone is obsessed with and has a three month wait to get into. You know what else is like that? Your first kiss. You spend what feels like an eternity thinking about it, planning it out, and generally meditating on how amazing it’s going to be, but when it finally happens, it…leaves a lot to be desired.
Alright, ladies–who’s ready to pucker up? Pucker up to some sweet literature, that is.
Was this how your first kiss looked? We’re gonna guess “no.” Click here to talk about your awkward, goofy, and possibly even romantic first kiss stories!
I don’t know why, but for whatever reason, us girls are taught that guys are supposed to make the first move. We’re not supposed to text first or ask dudes out or send that friend request before them. That is literally one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard. We’re not living in ancient times, you guys. You don’t need someone to court you or trade a herd of cattle or something to your dad to date you.
Why should you have to wait around for a guy to text you or ask you to hang out when you can just do it yourself on your terms? The worst thing that will happen is that he will say no. And then you know that he’s not interested. Chances are a guy is going to be impressed that you asked him out and will say yes so just go for it! To give you a little courage, here are some girlswho successfully made the first move
My first kiss was not particularly exciting or eventful, and I really wish it had been with someone else. But I was one of those girls who just got it over with. For whatever reason, there’s a lot of pressure to kiss someone by a certain age, which is just silly. It shouldn’t be like that! You should kiss someone on your terms when you’re ready and when it feels right for you!