By now, you’ve most likely heard the news: Ariana Grande, renowned duck-facer and celebrated advocate of feminist Twitter rants, is actually a “malicious” licker of doughnuts. Being a malicious doughnut-licker is bad enough, but she apparently hates America too–Ariana said so herself, right after the licking incident occurred. Obviously, the police are now investigating the incident.
Ariana has since apologized, but this apology–in which she blamed her lack of patriotism on America’s obesity crisis and ignored the fact that she actually licked donuts for no apparent reason–merely led to more questions than before. We know that you licked the doughnuts, but why did you lick them, Ariana??? What does it mean??
Source: gurl.com