It’s no secret that guys love getting blowjobs, so if you’re a chick who likes hooking up with dudes and making them feel good, then you probably want to learn some tricks to give the best oral sex you can. Let’s get real- most men are just happy to receive a blowjob in general, even if it’s not the most skilled or creative experience. What does that mean for you? Just enjoy it! It’s pretty hard to screw up a blowjob (unless you bite it. Don’t bite it!), but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to give a, well, boring one.
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Look up “blow-job” in the dictionary, and you might feel frustrated with the explanation. “Blow job: (noun) an act of fellatio.” Thanks for nothing, Merriam-Webster. Why don’t sex-ed classes teach us how to “give a blow job?” Okay, fine, I guess they can’t teach us how to do sex stuff in school (that would also be so awkward), but how the heck are we supposed to know what we’re doing down there?! Even the name itself is confusing. Are you supposed to be blowing? Is there a “right” and a “wrong” way to do this? What if your knees start to hurt? Going down on a dude can be downright confusing, whether you’re an oral sex virgin or you’ve done it a few times.
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To the uninitiated, there may be nothing more intimidating than the thought of giving a blowjob. I mean, even for someone who is very firmly and definitively entrenched and initiated into the world of BJs, they’re pretty scary–there’s something unnerving about looking down at a body part that you don’t happen to have and being like, Okay, now I just have to…put it in my mouth. And make something great happen with it, I guess? Plus, it’s one of those things that the more you talk about it with other people, the more confusing it seems to get–like, what kind of rhythm should you be using? What if they’re uncircumcised? And what the heck are you even supposed to do with the (cringe) balls?
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Every girl’s first time giving a guy a blowjob is an experience in its self. More thought goes into oral sex than one realizes, and although it’s supposed to be a fun sex act, it can sometimes feel like a serious task that takes concentration. After your first few times, though, you get the hang of things, and it becomes no big deal. Until, maybe, you give a guy a blowjob and he has an uncircumcised penis. While an uncircumcised penis is nothing to freak out, it can be a little different than what you’re used to (if you’ve never handled one before), and there are some things you should know! Remember: everyone’s genitals comes in all shapes and sizes, and you won’t always know what to expect when the pants come off.
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Sometimes it seems like sex is always harder on females. Not only do we have to deal with pain and the constant possibility of an infection down there, but it also seems like all the bad stuff can only happen to us. Girls have to deal with a plethora of cringe-worthy sex mishaps (unknowingly getting your period, queefing…the list goes on.) But if it makes you feel better, guys have embarrassing sex moments, too. Between moody penises and that white stuff that shoots out of them, there is just so much that can go wrong. It’s one thing to have something horrible happen when you know the other person really well, and quite another when you’ve only recently met.
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Pregnancy scares can happen to anyone, even those of you who had stellar sex ed or those of us who write about this kind of stuff for a living (hint hint, the Gurl team). Hell, I’ve had a pregnancy scare when I didn’t even have sex, because it’s easy to get paranoid and erroneously convince yourself that you somehow managed to get semen up your cooch. Late periods and bloating can really lead to some wacky thoughts, trust.
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Oral sex for men, AKA Blow jobs, are great fun (usually) for the giver and the receiver. But in the words of Samantha from Sex in the City, “they don’t call it a job for nothing.” That’s some hard work! Some girls claim to be really good at them, but no one ever says that they’re easy. The coordination alone that’s required is enough to make a gal run for the hills. We here at Gurl are part of a sex positive community that feels you shouldn’t be ashamed to talk about blow jobs (although it is fun to laugh at all the stuff that can go wrong!).
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Oral sex is just one of those things that, in my mind, will always be inherently hilarious.
I don’t know why this is, exactly (though I do know that it means that I am inherently one other thing, which is immature), because I know that oral sex isn’t actually funny. But I do have a pretty good guess. Basically, there’s just no good way to say it. “Oral sex” sounds weirdly clinical and formal, like saying “corpus spongiosum” when you mean “penis”–which, technically speaking, is right enough, but it’s not really something that you want to say outside of a sex ed class. But there’s not really much else to work with.There’s “head.” “Blowjobs.” “Eating out.” “Going down.”
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You can take comfort in knowing that your first time will likely be better than mine. On the big night, I squeezed my eyes shut, took a deep breath, and went for it. Was I enjoying myself? NO! I was horrified! A minute in, my boyfriend pulled me up and said we should just call it a night. Apparently I had looked like I was being tortured. He then proceeded to tell me that his last girlfriend was much better at oral sex, causing me to run out of the room crying. #SUCCESS
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If you’re a heterosexual female, oral sex can be tough. They don’t call it a “job” for nothing! Ba-dum ching. But really though. To give a great blowjob, one must be relaxed, connecting with their partner, and basically LACKING ANY KIND OF GAG REFLEX. Seriously, though, our throats weren’t designed to have giant cylinders shoved into them repeatedly! I’m sorry for that image, it’s just that it’s true.
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Anonymous asked:
hey gurl! so one of my guy friends the other day said that you have to give a guy a blowjob before sex or you'll get tiny microscopic tears, and my question is, is that true?
LOL. wut. no.
love,
gurl