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@guinevereslancelot / guinevereslancelot.tumblr.com

lizzie | 26 | 😎 | batman is autistic 💜 | gifs | art | store | buy me a coffee?
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trying to arrange a lowkey date and he goes radio silent for no apparent reason 🤡

#i don't understand him i don'tttt#all i asked was if he wanted to drive together or meet there#and to update me on his schedule when he knows he's free so we can pick a day#i don't understand and i hate dating#every step of this process is a mortifying ordeal and i have yet to experience the rewards pf being loved#gonna be alone forever fr#this has been a shitpost#also i wanted to be in bed asleep by now but he texted me back at 8:55 in response to my text from 5pm#ugh#edit: crisis averted he finally answered and we made a vague plan and i said goodnight a minute ago#lowkey still not convinced this is gonna work but we'll see....#one date isn't gonna blow up the friendship if we never have another one lol
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i really be out here having cute flirty moments with guys that i absolutely should not date and then not even noticing when they ask me out

#killing myself killing myself etc#it was sweet he was doing the photos for a friend's christmas party and he kept taking my picture#but aaaaaaaaa#we are so incompatible in every way but he keeps flirting and unfortunately i do kinda like him.....#but generally speaking we would not work even remotely#we do not want the same kind of life and all he wants to do every spare second is extreme sports#which i have no interest or ability to keep up with#but we do unfortunately hit it off every time we see eachother and we work in the same field and he's sweet and funny#and just as pretentious as me lmao#but i'm not hiking extremely difficult mountains and skiing black diamonds for fun its not me and i would die trying 😖#but the meet cute was unfortunately cute#in its own way#i went skiing for the first time in years w a group of new friends and he was there and persuaded me to venture beyond the bunny slope#and i got a concussion and had to keep asking what everyone's name was 😂#and he was planning to spend the night to get more skiing in but instead he dropped everything to drive me home early and was really sweet#he also got to me first after i fell and stayed with me til our friend who's a nurse came to check me out#but anyway.....not gonna do it not gonna catch feelings when it can't possibly work out#anyway this was two years ago now and we've both dated other people (me briefly) since but every time we meet there's def a vibe#and tonight he was being cute w the camera and asked me to go skiing again and said he'd give me lessons and get me cheap tickets#ugh#alas#im really out here having these moments and experiences with all the wrong people all the time huh#guy i might actually want to like said 2 sentences to me the entire night basically#guy i dont want to like was relentlessly charming#🤡🔫#if this was a movie he would be The One but irl it's just a dumb idea lmao#this has been a shitpost#anyway dating is hell but almost dating someone is the worstttt 😭#also he was acting all interested over the summer then backed way off and now he's interested again like what does he want fr#might do the dumb thing and go skiing with him but i haven't ruled out killing myself instead
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let a first grade student scroll thru my picture roll on my phone yesterday at work and one of them saw a pic of my little brother (2 years younger than me) and asked if he was my son 😔

#the years start coming and they don't stop coming#last week i told one of the girls her name was pretty and if i ever had a daughter i always wanted to name her that#and they were like wait you DON'T have a daughter??? how do you not have any daughters????#and i was like i don't have any kids at all lol#and they were like whaaaat :0#which was awful 😂#however it's not insane to have kids at 20 so i could easily have been any of their mom's i'm sure some of them have moms my age#but it was devastating lmao#for years i've been getting mistaken for a high schooler but the past few months i keep getting asked if i have kids#its insane#ugh#anyway in a first grader's brain any adult woman is a mommy i get it but aaaaaaaaa#and to be fair Most of the teachers are parents lol#almost all of them and definitely all the female elementary teachers are parents of students except for me#and one aide for kindergarten who is literally currently pregnant
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guinevereslancelot

noooo don't tell me they caught him AND he's canceled 😭

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guinevereslancelot

AND his name is luigi???

#enough 😭😭😭#also why tf did he still have the gun silencer AND a handwritten manifesto on his person when they caught him its been DAYS#he fled to another state but he couldn't throw that shit off a bridge on his way 🤦‍♀️#bro we were rooting for you we were all rooting for you......#maybe he was gonna pop another one tho which is fair#but the handwritten motive dude why....#ugh#anyway they're conpaing his dna to a coffee cup from the trash?? there's no way there was only one starbucks cup in a trash can....#in new york city.....#there's no way they can prove fr that's his cup 😂#*comparing
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misanthropemom

Saw this on one of my rare visits to Facebook hell. Thought y'all would want to know

#somehow they've also started slapping ~no artificial sweeteners!~ on things that definitely have artificial sweeteners too#presumably bc they're plant based idk but they all have the same side effects as all the other artificial sugars#but xylitol is the worst of all bc its super toxic to pets and they keep trying to sneak it into every fucking thing#especially peanut butter despite how dangerous it is to dogs#ugh
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i love christmas yet i'm dreading it bc i can never stop spending soo much money i do not have on little gifts for my friends and family 🥲

#in march i bought a baby bear onesie for my friend who just had a baby but it was too big for him then it got too warm#so he didn't get to wear it before he outgrew it#THEN i bought him a new one in october in his new size but it was already super tight on him somehow when it arrived#so i just bought it again in the next two sizes 😭#this baby WILL get a whole season out of baby near onesie 😤#but i can't even wait for christmas to give her the new ones bc they'll probably both be too small by then for all i know#so it's not even a christmas present im gonna give them to her immediately when they arrive in three days#then i need to get her a separate christmas present#and that's just one of my friends#ugh#i want to mix up little hot chocolate mixes in mason jars for everyone but I'll have to customize each one#bc half my friends are allergic to dairy and each prefers a different non dairy milk substitute#idek which of those come in powdered form 🤨#anyway#maybe i can leave the dairy out all together and make them dark chocolate hot chocolate mixes and they can use whatever milk they want#idkkk#but i ordered jars and they were enormous so now i need to order new jars and cocoa powder is expensive actually#that's just my friends nevermind my family lol#and im only working like 2 days a week for $14/hr currently#so not super great#alas#i do love christmas but i NEED to curb my gifting enthusiasm this year bc i can not afford it lol#this has been a shitpost#i can't help it i love giving people presents 😭
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oughhhh new boss hasn't even fully taken over yet but she seems so incompetent 😬

#also has no respect for anyone else including some of the lovely old ladies who have worked here 30 years#disrespected my mentor :(#also wants me an my other co teacher to come back to work some day(s) in the next few weeks to work unpaid overtime#just to set up the classroom the way she wants....#which is traditionally the lead teacher's job to do if she chooses#i think she's genuinely so delulu that she thinks it's gonna be fun girls night bonding time or something#like girl i am not coming back after hours to work for free lol#anyway every change she has tried was catastrophic today but she wouldnt even admit that most of them don't work 🤡#then she left at 3pm for me to deal w closing while the kids lost thier marbles bc she fucked up naptime then didn't let us keep them down#so they literally got a half nap today but she didnt care bc she was off in an hour anyway#ugh#she's gonna be insufferable i know it 😖#my co teacher was begging our current supervisor who hasnt fully left yet for advice on saying no to the unpaid overtime#im so sad she's leaving fr 😭#she doesn't even want to go but management is evil and dumb and moved her to pre k bc another teacher lied abt her :(#i got her a nice care package tho#i was going to wait for the new boss to be off shift and go home before giving it to my current one at end of day tomorrow (her last day)#bc i didnt want her to feel unwelcome or weird or anything#but i don't care now actually 😂#i want her to know we love sarah and are going to miss her#and she has to live up to that#bc currently she's uh...not lol
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got dumped 🫡

#he said he's too busy with school for a relationship which is fair bc i didn't date anyone while i was in school to avoid distractions too#and yet he was the one who asked me out 🤨#and i was the one who reached out after our date to say it was nice maybe i should have waited to see if he did idk#bc its felt like im the only one putting effort in a lot of the time since then#so maybe it should have been obvious#it occurred to me that he might not be very interested anymore but i thought i was being paranoid and insecure 😔#dating is a minefield and i hate it#this is only the second guy i have dated since high school so i'm batting zero#last guy i broke up w after a few months bc he was not very nice and was kinda controlling and weird#anyway#ugh#dating is a minefield. and in your late twenties too. inhumane#one guy scared of commitment one guy about to propose after a month where can i get the emotionally mature regular guys#the bar is on the ground my standards are so low what gives ughhh#this post is not an invitation to send me weird anons or weird asks of any kind
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not me forgetting i switched shifts with a coworker and showing up an hour early for work ✌️😌

#i am so stupid#better than an hour late tho#in a way im making back an hour of the time i took off for tomorrow for my doctor's appointment#but i missed an opportunity to sleep for an extra hour that i really needed lol#i love working closing shift bc i dont have to be in until 8:30 but im always middle shift on monday so i didnt even check 🤡#ugh#also a baby fell out of my lap when i was stopping another kid from pulling a different kids hair and the baby cried sm#and later he got a little bloody nose probably from that 😭#gonna kms#hopefully nobody is mad at me abt it but im so upsettt :(#we were sitting on the floor so he didnt fall that far and i kind of expected him to catch himself with his arms when he shifted#but instead he faceplanted :(#he's old enough to crawl and is almost walking so i literally didnt think he could have been hurt until he was :(#but i literally had to stop the hair ripping immediately bc that kid pulls super hard#but i should have taken the two seconds to move the baby from my lap to the floor#but i honestly didnt even expect him to leave my lap when i leaned forward i thought he would lean forward a bit and be fine#anyway#i hate myself#i love the kids but this job is a bit stressful#its like being a lifeguard to 16 fragile humans with no braincells or self preservation instincts whatsoever#and we dont have enough teachers#all day long they try to eat rocks and climb things they shouldn't and push eachother off of the tallest stuff they can get access to#and also bite scratch pull hair etc#the most violent kid is thankfully moving up to the big kid class next month thankfully#he literally hurts the other kids all day long for fun#this has been a shitpost#anyway i still have to close even tho i showed up for middlenshift so its gonna be a loooooong day
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roseworth

i could get so much done in a day if i didnt decide my day was over at 4 pm. too bad theres no solution oh well

#me fr#my dad INSISTED on scheduling a chiropractor appointment for me at 5 like no i get off work st 4:45 and then i turn into a pumpkin#i can only do things on saturdays#on an unrelated not HOW to people have appointments and a full time job its insane#every place closes at 5pm and thats about when i get off work#im trying to get a general care now that i have insurance but my job hates when peopel take time off#why do i have to use vacation time to go to a doctor's appointment anyway 🤨#or sick time when i'm not sick sick#???#i found a practice that technically will see patients on saturdays but only the nurses will see you#so if you need a real doctor for anything you still need to take time off work which is so stupid 😣#why isnt there extended hours anywhere#i need a general care to run tests and refer me somewhere#ugh#im trying to minimize the time im taking off work and its impossibleeee#anyway#my dad keeps trying to make me do things in the afternoon like#i stop existing after 5 sorry#but he doesnt exist until 5 basically#as soon as im done for the day he's like okay let's goooo time to accomplish things!!
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most fucked up thing at my new job is there's only zero calorie sweeteners at the coffee station in the break room. three different kinds of zero calorie sweetener but no regular sugar because the assumption is that literally everyone is on a diet?

#is this because its a job dominated by women in particular??? idk#that's so weird#like sorry i can taste the difference and i prefer naturally occurring sugar from nature how is that not even an option#drinking nasty bitter af coffee bc i am So Sleepy but i refuse to use artificial sweeteners#they Do taste different and they're not even good for you im not doing that lol#also they got mad at me for telling one of the parents that we took one of the kids temperature and it was 99 and he threw up a little#when his dad came to get him yesterday and all of the other teachers were nowhere to be found#they were like tou shouldnhave had colleen do that#ma'am colleen went home before that and so did you#i should have left already too but waited bc the ratio on the playground was bad#anyway i did NOT say he had a fever i said it was 99 and to talk to the teacher inside#but the dad didnt yalk to her clearly then went home and scared the mom that he had a fever and threw up so she texted my boss freaking out#i literally just said he threw up a little and we took his temperature and it was 99 and to talk to the other teacher#which was all true and there was no one else there to tell him#anyway#apparently the person who had my job before me was a wacko who scared the parents with fake medical information or something#but that is not my fault and nobody told me that or not to tell the parents anything medical until this morning#ugh#also my supervisor is kind of a weirdo#she wanted to show everyone ~cute~ pictures of animals she has killed while hunting???#and i said i didnt want to see#and she was like ~oh it's not dead yet in the picture~#like okay but its dead now???#she traps them first so its a cute little fox in a trap about to be killed 😭#like wtfff#i know trappong predators is a reality but why take pictures like ohhh so cute then kill it#THEN show everyone the cute pictures like yeah isnt he adorable i killed him btw <3#huh??????#she has a bobcat tail on her keychain too she was giving it to the teachers and kids to pet like ohhh its so soft <3
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nooo early spring sunlight, don't get dark i'm still depressed haha

#7pm isnt bad but nooooo#its so cold out i didn't spend as much time outside as i wanted to now its too late#like ik i wasng getting warmer as it was getting later but still#anyway#alas#i will try to wake up early tomorrow tho perhaps#it will be raining but also warm so i can do stuff outside 😌#spring!!!#my depression is almost cured just give it like another week or two and i'll be fine <3#tho my scary doctor's appointment is coming up and i have no money :(#my parents will hopefully be able to cover the treatment for me but i have no idea yet what it will cost and i hate to be a burden on them#ugh#trying to enjoy the beauty of slring without thinking abt maybe never seeing it again 🥲
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gwenpooll
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jinxpologist

purposefully picked tumblr-like social media along with some really bit ones although nothing is really like this tbh

#i use insta but not like i use tumblr#its exclusively for pretty pictures of nature and my dog basically#i dont want to see memes or jokes on there i want to see pretty pics of nature and people's pets#i use pinterest but i dont post fb is for posting my insta pics of my pets and nature for my elderly relatives basically#i would effectively become offline ig#which would probably be good for me but what abt my mutuals and funny textposts and memes 💔#also gifsets :(#ugh#anyway im just going to stay on tumblr til its unusable ig no other site is an adequate substitute
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society if the four day work week was considered full time <3

#i have no time or energy for anything#whats the point of working to make money if i can only live my life on the weekend#i would rather make less working part time but i need to be full time for the shitty healthcare ibwont get until november <3#im gonna kms#all my time not working is spent recovering from working#el oh el#i know im ungrateful for complaining bc at least im not unemployed but ughhhh employment is the worst#three day work week should be considered full time#or five days but only 6 hours instead of 8 idk#time for life tho and ability to recover fromnworking between shifts idk#like im working a pretty physically demanding job rn but even if i managed to get an easy desk job i would have literally no time for life#on this schedule#and i currently have a 5 min commute#ugh#i know this is a first world problem but :/#this has been a shitpost
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the problem with the things i want is that they are expensive 😔

#asking for cuttings from people pruning apple trees so i can illegally download that plant#but if they're own root then they will get massive and if not i have to graft them like im not doing that lol#also i think they're a bit tricky to root to start with :(#i just want free apple trees i dont want to spend moneyyy#and growing from seed you have to wait years for fruit and no way of knowing if the fruit will be good like the parent plant#ugh#why cant people just donate stuff i want to the very good cause of me having stuff that i want 😤#its fine i will have a job by planting time i hope and the cost of acquiring the actual ideal trees wont seem so bad#this has been a shitpost#humor#horticulture tag
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