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#this has been a shitpost – @guinevereslancelot on Tumblr

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@guinevereslancelot / guinevereslancelot.tumblr.com

lizzie | 26 | 😎 | batman is autistic 💜 | gifs | art | store | buy me a coffee?
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oh shit what's the etiquette for having a date over to watch a movie i just realized i haven't done this since high school and never w a new relationship why did i think this was a good second date activity 🫣

#i thought it was more low key than dressing up fancy and going dancing#now im like aaaaaaa he's gonna be right next to me on the couch 😅#my parents are home so i'm not afraid its going to get too intimate but that's an additional level of awkward#killing myselffff i should have invited him over before when we were just friends first#😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫#do we cuddle or what? he held my hand a lot on the dancing date but this is different 😭#dating is awful fr im stressing abt the dumbest shit i would never have even thought to stress about before 🤡#this has been a shitpost#what do i dooooo#we're trying to keep things slow and pg here hence my parents being around lol but idk what i was thinking its too soon for this#we should have gone out someplace 😅#but i told him i was watching a movie he recommended the other night and he was literally like ~without me?~#so it seemed natural to invite him lol#but now 😅#somehow i missed the fact that i'm literally bringing him home to meet my parents on the second date 🤡#and they're going to try to be unobtrusive but that's maybe worse than them taking it super seriously and grilling him 😂#anyway im stupit#also i have no idea what time he's coming i expected him to be here or at least tell me he's left home by now but radio silence atm#didn't expect to be so clingy and obsessed abt this but its just anxiety 😂#i'm losing my marbles
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obsessed with the concept of duels. for many many years there was a 100% legal way for two consenting adults to settle a dispute by trying to kill eachother. there was a fully legal way to just kill someone. also you were humiliated and called a pussy if someone challenged you to a duel and you said no

#cool guys could just kill someone and then go on with their life with no consequences bc it was a consentual duel to the death 😂#obviously there were exceptions to the lack of legal consequences but in general this was a legal practice lmao#and this was so wildly popular that they had to make it illegal bc they were losing so many lives to dueling#and it remained popular to donit illegally for a long ass time after that#insane#every time i watch much ado about nothing im obsessed w the fact that beatrice is like i cant duel claudio but YOU can kill him for me babe#and benedick not only can but it's legal for him to do so 😂#obviously this is in many stories but i think about the kill claudio scene all the time#it truly is a scene that doesn't translate to a modern adaptation very well bc of the historical context of dueling#as not only legal and respectable but actually cool to do#this has been a shitpost#even women got to do this!! less common but there are examples of women dueling lol
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me when a kid asks if they can go to the bathroom and i say "that's a question for your doctor. you may go to the bathroom.":

#i didn't get it as a kid why basically every teacher was like that and didn't they know its annoying etc#but now i get it i wouldn't do it at all if it wasn't for the fact that it's a teacher stereotype#and for some reason saying it really does feel hilarious every time#i don't say it like that every time and i've never personally said: i don't know can you?#the most annoying version lol#but i usually say yes you may or that's a question for your doctor lmao#anyway its like a dad joke for teachers#it's the equivalent of saying hi hungry i'm dad for teachers#this has been a shitpost
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trying to arrange a lowkey date and he goes radio silent for no apparent reason 🤡

#i don't understand him i don'tttt#all i asked was if he wanted to drive together or meet there#and to update me on his schedule when he knows he's free so we can pick a day#i don't understand and i hate dating#every step of this process is a mortifying ordeal and i have yet to experience the rewards pf being loved#gonna be alone forever fr#this has been a shitpost#also i wanted to be in bed asleep by now but he texted me back at 8:55 in response to my text from 5pm#ugh#edit: crisis averted he finally answered and we made a vague plan and i said goodnight a minute ago#lowkey still not convinced this is gonna work but we'll see....#one date isn't gonna blow up the friendship if we never have another one lol
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most novel problem at work is a first grader who occasionally decides to write a made up name at the top of his paper. today he was brian and as i was grading i was like wtf we don't have a brian in this class....and of course it was him but this is the first time he used a real actual name. previously he was writing stuff like "pokemon" in place of a name so it was easier to know it was him

#also there's always someone absent or a paper or two with no name at all so its not instantly obvious that it's his#we have a number system but most of the kids dont remember to write that either and he basically refuses to#but it really does make grading and inputing so much faster once the papers are in number order#bc its immediately clear who's missing papers and stuff and then they're in the same order you input the grades in the book or system#and honestly i cant go by just the names and remember who's missing in a class of 22#esp bc i grade for 4 classes#this has been a shitpost
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me when i'm definitely incompatible with someone: 👋😉❤️🥰💘😘💕

#i texted him 🤦‍♀️#i asked what days he teaches skiing now waiting for reply pls kill me 🤡🔫#he's probably instructing rn or driving from his actual job to the ski instructor job#but aaaaaaaaa#i literally put him off all the time when he tries to invite me to ski which is CONSTANTLY bc i suck at it and got a concussion last time#but i literally JUST realized (it had to be pointed out to me by someone who wasn't there) that he has been asking me out by inviting me#repeatedly....for over a year......just in a subtle not pushy way which is sweet but also why i didnt even notice 🤡#but fr idk if i can actually date an expert skier and hiker bc thats all he wants to do w every spare second of his life and i cant keep up#so i would never see him 😂#but idk#i figured i might as well give it a shot idk#maybe that's dumb and gonna ruin the friend group idk#but if i never take any chances im gonna be alone forever 😂#the problem is i keep doing this tho and getting hurt bc my attitude is to take the chance#so im lowkey scared#but those other guys were dating app randos and this guy is a friend so maybe its actually the first good idea i've had in a while#or the dumbest#lmao#this has been a shitpost#also skiing is expensive 😭#which is why he teaches and he said he could get me discount tickets but still 😣#expensive hobby and i would need to rent boots and skis in addition to the tickets#plus a helmet is only good for one fall which i learned the hard way so when i inevitably wipe out and hit my head again its gonna be $$$#also the slope is 45 minutes away and i suck at driving#but since we're both teachers maybe he could pick me up and we could carpool#but then i have to stay for his entire shift lol
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guys i'll be honest. the first time i saw the name "luigi mangione" it was a repost of the tweet that it sounds like a name that jkr would make up for an italian character. and the post was sandwiched between posts abt f1 by one of my mutuals who's really into that so i just assumed luigi mangione was a racecar driver lmao

#i just thought they were posting abt their special little guy: luigi from racecar driving#it wasn't until a while later that i saw they caught the guy and that was his name lmao#allegedly#nobody else experienced the news quite as i did five minutes later i'm sure#this has been a shitpost#luigi mangione#united healthcare
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went to facebook friend request my new teacher friend and found out she's not friendable bc you have to follow her bc she's a "digital creator" who sells skincare and lifestyle advice with almost 8k followers..... 😵‍💫

#she's still super nice so i might do it anyway then mute her bc the posts are lowkey annoying 😂#but im in her class 3 days a week and we have fun and she's nice and great with the kids#and super cheerful and friendly#also we're both kind of new so we're like a little team lol#anyway she's gone really out of her way to be nice and welcoming to me at my new job so i might do it#bc i friend requested my two other main friends#but she has so many she might not notice lol#i don't want her to feel excluded or anything lol#this has been a shitpost
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concept of love: 🥰👍❤️✨️😍💖❤️‍🔥🥰🫶💕💘

reality of meeting new people and dating: 😬👎🙃🗑😵‍💫❌️🫣🫠⁉️💩😐🚫

#awful awful awful#every time i meet someone and decide to give them a chance it's always a mistake#dating is the worst but also i dont even date basically bc i almost never get that far tbh#maybe im just the pickiest person alive but i really don't think my standards are that high#yet it feels like i never meet anyone who fits my bare minimum requirements from a romantic partner#AND THEN the feelings are nonexistent#i knowwww im capable of love and yet maybe im incapable of love 😐#why does it feel like its so easy for everyone else#i feel like almost nobody even has to put effort into meeting new people and they just fall in love and end up happy#and i go to like social events and groups and places.....i joined two dating apps in the spring 🤡....for what#i wish i was more okay w being alone and i usually am but then i get lonely :(#like im so obsessed w the concept of love but but.......never gonna experience that tbh#this has been a shitpost#and that makes trying worse.....like better to not try and then not fail and feel pathetic for trying lmao#so it's either sabotage my own happiness by never trying or taking risks or sabotage myself by getting my hopes up for nothing repeatedly#instead of just being okay alone#anyway........am i insane or am i just 27......
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getting dark at 4pm is still terrible but it's a game changer for phone in bed time. i got in bed with my phone at 5pm and now im gonna get up and eat dinner then maybe actually go to bed (without phone) at a reasonable hour bc i got in my 1.5 hours scrolling phone in bed in the dark time already

#potentially go to bed witbout phone at potentially a reasonable hour.....i say optimistically#i got in bed bc of a headache but then i scrolled bc i couldn't sleep lol#and now im reacharged for accomplishing the task of eating and my headache is mostly gone#i am killing it#seasonal depression who#this has been a shitpost#phone in bed time done ✔️ i love productivity 📒😌
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