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@guinevereslancelot / guinevereslancelot.tumblr.com

lizzie | 26 | 😎 | batman is autistic 💜 | gifs | art | store | buy me a coffee?
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How did you train your cats to not wake you up?

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By rolling over and stubbornly feigning sleep if they did.

Their brains are little cause-effect engines. If standing next to your face and yelling until you feed them doesn't actually produce that result, they'll eventually stop doing it. You just have to outlast them.

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tafkarfanfic

So, we tried doing this with a cat we were looking after. We would not get up until the alarm clock went off.

One morning, he was standing by my head and screaming, but not in my ear. I looked up and saw that he had his little face one inch from the alarm clock. Because we only woke up when the alarm clock went off, he decided that it was the alarm clock that he needed to scream at until it woke up.

[GIF ID: a grey cat getting scratched behind the ears /end]

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markocomics

Theres a novel by Poul Anderson called The High Crusade, which has an alien spacecraft land in rural England in 1345 during the Hundred Year’s War. The local baron has been raising an army to help King Edward against the French, and immediately assumes this must be some kind of enemy trick.

In a way, he’s correct: the aliens are scouts for a brutal and repressive interstellar empire, which has dominated numerous planets through their devastating technology.

Unfortunately, this reliance on advanced weapons means they’ve completely forgotten all forms of melee combat and Sir Roger of Tourneville leads his militia to defeat the aliens easily.

They spare a single enemy, forcing him to fly the ship at spearpoint. They intend to raid behind enemy lines, capture the king of France to end the war, and then go onward to reclaim the Holy Land using the same tactic.

In an attempt to outwit the knights, the alien pilot actually travels to the nearest Imperial planet, where he expects the occupying military forces to save him.

I won’t spoil the details, but the knights accept this as a challenge and declare the launch of the “high crusade”.

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yimra

That last picture is so stupidly badass I might tattoo that next to my dick cause it ain’t getting any better after that

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I really hope that whoever managed to convince Disney that kids fucking LOVE photorealistic animation and will only watch an animated movie about sea creatures if said sea creatures actually look like real fish is laughing their fucking ass off right now

Kids LOVE when the beautiful singing mermaid’s animal sidekicks look like they should be dead with their eyes open at a supermarket deli

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caruliaa

WAIT DID TUMBLR JUST UPDATE THE IMAGE LIMIT TO *30* ?????

[image description: 30 of the same picture of bingus, a pink sphynx cat with wide eyes: /End description]

yea its been updated :]

to everyone saying either "do u love the colour of the bingus" or "get bingused" here is a flower for u hope ur day is lovely 🌼geniunly love both comments sm ik some people find many people saying the same thing on their post annoying but i love that we have all been connected by coming up w the same thing love and light<3

This is the best post to see as my first 30 photo post

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