Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Damian: *pouting

Dick: What’s wrong?

Damian: Pennyworth grounded me because I missed curfew.

Tim: As he should. You got everyone’s hopes up, thinking you weren’t going to show, and then you did.

gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Jason: I don’t want to be dad’s favorite child.

Jason: I want to be the first one he thinks of when the cops show up.

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Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Jason: Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick

Tim: Why would they use a glue stick? A glue stick won’t moistur– …oh. I get it now.

Jason: Good. You’re one of those people by the way.

Tim: Yeah, I deserve that.

gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Red Hood: *posting on verified social media accounts

Red Hood: I don’t want to hear none of y’all saying you like Batman in a way that’s concerning to feminism.

Red Hood: First of all, eww.

Red Hood: Second of all, I hate that b*tch in a way that’s concerning to law enforcement, so watch it!

gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Steph: Which of us is most likely to chase the others with a knife?

Jason: Me!

Tim: No, it’s Damian.

Damian: I resent that implication. I would not chase you. I would throw the knife instead.

gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Bart: Just out of curiousity, do all the Robins have daddy issues?

Tim: Well, that depends…

Damian: Yes.

Tim: You do not have daddy issues.

Damian: My daddy issue is that my dad isn’t dead.

Tim: …

Bruce: …

Bart: I think that answered my question.

gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Bruce: Why don’t you make plans for the day like any other normal person?

Jason: Because the word “plan” then gets words like “pre-meditated” thrown around in a courtroom.

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Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Clark (as a reporter): Mr. Wayne, have you ever thought of having more children?

Bruce: You mean, adopting?

Clark: Adopting. Abducting. However you got the last four.

Bruce: …

gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

*anytime Bruce has to socialize

Bruce: Unfortunately due to foreseen circumstances that were completely within my control, I will be late.

Reporter: And what were the circumstances?

Bruce: I didn’t want to go.

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gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Bruce: Tim, do you want to explain what happened today?

Tim: I picked Damian up from school.

Bruce: And you gave a statement to the press?

Tim: No, a reporter just questioned me as I was leaving.

Bruce: And you said, quote “He’s my brother, I’m not stealing him.”

Bruce: And you followed it up with “If I was going to take one, it wouldn’t be this a**hole.”

Tim: I believe I did say that, yes.

Bruce: …I’m never asking you to do school pickup again.

gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Dick: B, you need a sense of humor, otherwise people are gonna think you’re a lawyer!

Harvey: Hey, I take offense to that!

Dick: You take offense to half the things I say!

gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Damian: I’d say my father didn’t raise no bitch, but unfortunately he raised my brother.

Dick: I’m right here.

Damian: And you’re proving my point.

gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Bruce: Tell me what your excuse was for speeding in the Batmobile tonight.

Jason: Well, it was pointed out to me that technically you paid for the whole speedometer, so really, by using the whole thing I was just making sure you got your money’s worth.

Bruce: …Jason…no.

Jason: Don’t take it up with me. Take it up with whoever sold you the speedometer.

gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Steph: I am a strong woman who is capable of many things, but restraining myself around a snack table or a craft store are not in my skill set.

gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Jason: *texting Dick

Jason: Can you pick me up from Batburger?

Dick: It’s 3AM?! Batburger is closed?

Jason: I don’t judge your extracurricular activities.

Dick: …

Dick: Fair enough. Omw

gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

*Batman doing a mission brief

Bruce: And then we need to…

Dick: We need to breach these doors to take out the auxiliary guards.

Bruce: …

Bruce: Will you stop saying what I’m thinking?

Dick: Well, one of us has to say it and we both know it won’t be you.

gothamundernightlight

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

*Tim texting Damian

Tim: Good morning Demon spawn

Tim: On a scale of overwhelmed to ready to be the star of a true crime podcast, what is your sanity level this morning?

Damian: Closer to true crime than Father is comfortable with.

Tim: Okay, in that case…Titus absolutely didn’t get in the fridge and ruin his diet today.

Damian: TITUS DID WHAT?