sometimes i wonder how a writer would describe me if i were a character in a book

can we make this an ask meme?

reblog this if you want a book description of you sent to your inbox

"if I don't make it back from where I've gone just know I've loved you all along" scratches the same touch starved brain itch as "I know you're strong enough to do this on your own"

Glorfindel in “The Sunset Kingdom” - fan made project inspired by J.R.R. Tolkien books and Peter Jackson movies.

#mans could take care of me my house and my young with one hand tied behind his back

Said by @gossip-girl-of-middle-earth

Well, the other hand is for…other things

1) Elrond is so cute!

2) How fUCKING DARE YOU WITH THAT FIRST PICTURE!!!😭

:)

narcissists when their kid is upset:

ThAT kid is EVIL its doing it to ME ON PURPOSE just to DESTROY MY LIFE

narcissists when their kid is sick:

THEY’RE NOT REALLY SICK oh but if other people are watching, I am actually the best caretaker in the world and I’m so so worried about my poor sickly baby

narcissists when their kid is disabled or chronically ill:

I AM THE REAL VICTIM FOR SACRIFICING MY ENTIRE LIFE TO CARE FOR THIS CHILD, ME, I AM THE HERO AND THE VICTIM OF THIS STORY, LET ME TELL YOU TALES ABOUT HOW MUCH I SUFFER FOR THIS MISFORTUNE THAT’S BEEN THROWN ONTO OUR FAMILY OH WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE SUCH A GRIEF IN MY YOUNG LIFE *ignores the kid who is actually disabled and ill*

narcissists when they want something and also have a kid:

IT IS ONLY FOR MY CHILD THAT I DESIRE THIS! MY CHILD NEEDS THIS!!!

narcissists when their kid has a talent:

THIS TALENT IS GOING TO MAKE ME THE CENTER OF ATTENTION, LOOK AT WHAT I MADE, LOOK AT WHAT IT CAN DO, ALSO WHERE IS THE MONEY THAT I SHOULD BE COLLECTING FROM THIS

narcissists when their kid mildly disobeys them:

I don’t have a child anymore, you’re a DEMON who’s been sent from HELL TO TORTURE ME, you do NOT HAVE A SOUL AND you’ve been POSSESSED BY SATAN

narcissists for no fucking reason to their kid:

WHY aren’t YoU more like THAT OTHER KID who is THOUSAND TIMES BETTER and would NEVER DO THIS TO THEIR POOR PARENT, why did you have to GROW UP INTO SUCH A *slur*, everything is your fault and I shouldn’t have even had you, don’t you feel sorry for me for having to deal with you? DON’T CRY I’M THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE CRYING

narcissists when called out on their bullshit even a tiny little bit:

EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT!!! AREN’T YOU TIRED OF BLAMING IT ALL ON ME!? I DO EVERYTHING WRONG!!! IT WOULD ALL BE BETTER IF I DIDN’T EXIST, IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE SAYING? ITS ME, ALL ME!! CHILDREN DIDN’T USE TO DISRESPECT THEIR PARENTS LIKE THIS IN MY DAYS! YOU WOULD BE THANKING ME ON YOUR KNEES FOR EVERYTHING I’VE DONE FOR YOU! WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!!!

Aragorn definitely got a tattoo in Greenwood, and was just like 'it's fine, I'll just hide it from my dad.' Like every dumb teenager thinks.

And he actually does pretty well for a while there, managing to go several years without Elrond seeing the tattoo on his upper left side.

Then one day Aragorn gets dragged back to Elrond half dead, and while he's tending to his son with extreme care and concern, he's been going on a tirade the entire time like: "I literally told him not to do that. And he did exactly that. Why is your brother so stupid? Did you drop him down the stairs? Once I've finally nursed him back to health I'm going to KILL HIM for doing this."

And then he sees it.

A tattoo.

Not just any tattoo, THE tattoo.

The tattoo on his sons body.

The tattoo Elrond can tell CLEARLY is not a new addition to Aragorns body.

He just stares at it for a few seconds like: 😱🤯😤😠😡🤬💢

Basically going through all the stages of grief on 3.2 seconds (but mostly anger).

And then he just continues washing and tending to him, this time faster and more angry but not less gentle: "I'm going to look after him, kill him, care for him again, AND THEN IM GOING TO KILL HIM A SECOND T I M E."

Yes please, someone draw this!

Someone draw this?? 👀👀

This but on his side

After the war is over and (almost) everybody has settled down and started their family, Uncle Legolas is the Designated Bug Killer/ Remover.

"I assure you that I'm more than capable of killing a single spider, even one so large as that." Aragon assures his various offspring, "There is no need to disturb Uncle Legolas." 

"But Uncle Legolas does it better. I've heard the stories." They insist. 

"Yes but those were much, MUCH, bigger." Aragorn calmly explains to the children

"Then this one will not take him very long." They always insist. 

Sometimes Aragorn puts up more of a fight, but usually by then Legolas has either overheard or been informed by the trees that somebody wants his help and randomly appear and the kids get what they want. 

Similar scenes occur throughout Arda when he and Gimli go traveling. Eomer only made a weak attempt to discourage his children from getting Legolas to deal with spiders because he is secretly VERY afraid of them. Eowyn used to get rid of them for him but she isn't around anymore so he'll take any help he can get.

Guys, why aren't you reblogging this? This is awesome.

Maglor should go along with it play spy.

AU where Maglor just up and steals Melkor's kids as well as Earendil's. Glaurung? The drakes of Gondolin? Yep, they're all his now, Melkor and Mairon didn't appreciate them enough anyway and they're valuable spies in need of love. They even go with the Fëanorian "fire and blood" aesthetic, it's perfect!

Needless to say, the rest of the Eldar are slightly concerned over the fact that only Maglor gets to have dragons because a) his beloved younger brothers are not exactly famous for their self-restraint, and b) this could be a sign that Maglor's heart has aligned itself completely with the Discord and we may soon have a new Dark Lord, he's a kinslayer anyways, he doesn't have too far to go does he?

Cue a long conversation with Maedhros, who's been reminded of his captors by his brother of all people in each battle, and (from his viewpoint) now has to bear witness to the destruction of everything else of Makalaurë that's left of him. Cue Maglor absolutely exploding at that because he's always had to be the nice one, the kind one to overcompensate for his unorthodox battle methods, and now Maedhros wants him to stay the way he was in Valinor when everything else has changed so badly? The unfairness! The complete disregard of the fact that he needs something to love and care for to redeem himself and be a person he can stand to live as, and is also projecting heavily on the dragons, as someone who was also "made" by the Discord!

It's utter chaos. Everyone keeps communicating with each other. Celegorm won't stop trying to ride the dragons. The orcs have unionized over in Angband and are petitioning for decent Love and Affection.

Lavender Farm, Tassie by OwenJiang https://ift.tt/2YhIqhh

would some kind person be able to please explain to me what the fuck crablor is

https://gossip-girl-of-middle-earth.tumblr.com/post/644691634290917376/ldshdsh-could-someone-please-explain-crablor

can y'all send some asks that are like “thoughts on ______”

Glorfindel is both the unstoppable object and the unmovable force

Thurignwethil: I put the hot in psychotic

Gothmog: I put the laughter in slaughter

Mairon: I put the romance in necromancer

Melkor: I put the D in Mairon

Mairon:*shrieking embarrassed* ThAT’S NoT HOw iT WOrKs !

Gothmog and Thurignwethil: *laughing on the floor*