Tomura Shigaraki did not "love"
He understood the concept, he knew what it entailed. But he believed it simply didnt concern him, nothing he would ever succumb to.
It's not that Tomura Shigaraki was incapable of such a feeling, it's that he doesn't want it to resurge and bubble up. When he remembers "love" the ghosts of the detached hands that would reside on his body would haunt him.
When he thinks of love he thinks of constantly trying to please a master that he knew only saw him as a tool, a means to an end. Grooming masked by a love only a "father" and son would share.
Love was not something he wanted.
He was sure he didn't deserve it.
But something about the way you would ask about his day, or ask about a level hes trying to beat, would make the weight of the ghost hands on his skin grow heavy.
His vision obscured once again by the phantom of "father"
The urge to scratch his neck, or to hold something tightly as he once held his only friend.
He knew what he was supposed to do, come clean to you about this sudden emotion, and work through it.
Because you were one of his pieces on the board.
You weren't just a pawn to him, or a knight. You were a rook, a bishop, or maybe even a queen. Such an odd concept, yet it made his gaze harden and the red on his neck grow the more he pondered it.
Tomura Shigaraki does not deserve love. Hes sure of it. He's killed, hurt people, and plans to do it again with no remorse. He's not an idiot, he knows he's the villain. In no games he's played has the villain won in campaign mode. The villains don't win, but he plans to be the first.
But no villain has won with the girl by their side, the king solos and all of his pawns were sacrificed for the king's cause.
Though, the thought of telling you how he felt was heavy in his mind. He was almost positive you felt the same, no one talks to him like you do.
"The game you're playing, are you winning?"
You always started a conversation with him before it was time for dinner, with all the money the liberation front had, Tomura had made sure everyone ate like kings every single day, and never had to go hungry.
It went like this every time you went to his room to tell him dinner was ready. You would be absolutely dog shit at a game he was playing because he wouldn't tell you the controls, and then laugh at you.
But it felt more like laughing with you. He noted in his head, he wasn't taunting you or actively trying to make you feel bad. The voices of the dysfunctional house he grew up in whispered in the back of his mind to pursue the strange "new" feeling and the ghosts of their hands would squeeze tighter.
Tomura Shigaraki Tenko Shimura knew the feeling well.
He never wanted to feel it again.
"So, are you going to eat with us today or do you want me to bring your food up? We're having sushi again from that fancy place spinner likes."
"....Give me a minute. I'll come down"
He hates the thought of you being his queen, his most important piece.