@onenicebugperday

Who's this beauty?

Without seeing it close up I can’t say anything other than that it’s an orbweaver.

Sounds Wild and Broken, David George Haskell

Given that we’ve also discovered the paintings themselves, if scored with straight lines, would appear to move when illuminated by flickering fire light, I assume we’re all thinking ‘paleolithic cinema’?

I don’t think any movie will make me feel the same ethereal sense of otherworldly sorrow and disembodied awe as that scene in Lord of the Rings where the loyal son is sent off into a doomed battle to please his vindictive father while Pippin sings a mourning song of his people

I was like 12 and high off this shit

These movies CHANGED ME

This is one of my favourite parts of the whole trilogy. It’s haunting.

And that Pippin takes actually a happy walking song of his people, because Hobbit songs are generally happy and about food and drink and gifts and things, and *transforms* it into a mourning song.

The song is from Fellowship, before all the heavy plot hits and they’re still in the Shire. It’s about walking, and how eventually all the bad things that scare or sadden you will fade away and you’ll be home warm by the fire.

And Pippin takes it, changes the lines, the key, and sings a song that is truly fit for Denethor’s great hall.

Knowing Billy Boyd gave his own melody to it and everyone had chills after hearing him sing it. This is how you get actors involved with the story and character, this is how amazingly well these films were cast. Fans have been singing that haunting tune in echoing halls and caves and towers for 20 years now and it never loses its beauty.

And even better: Billy Boyd composed the tune to the song and then performed it for Peter Jackson and everyone else while filming. They only did one take! That very first take is the one that’s used in the film! He’s just that good!!

Every now and then I like to pull up this video of Billy Boyd being endearing and silly and choked up about Boromir’s death scene, and then performing this song upon request:

I sing it as a lullaby to my children but I use the original “away shall fade” to make it less sad because they’re just babies. uwu

Not even my fandom and I have chills.

You know what, I’m not done. Every aspiring writer should watch that scene and keep in mind the axiom “every person is the protagonist in their own mind,” because Denethor and Pippin are having TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS.

Here’s the translation of how it goes.

WHAT DENETHOR SAYS: can you sing, Master Hobbit?

WHAT DENETHOR MEANS: I want entertainment and you’re from far lands. That’s a novelty here.

WHAT PIPPIN HEARS: I don’t care that I just sent my son to his death. Entertain me.

WHAT PIPPIN SAYS: yes. Well, well enough for my own people. But we have no songs fit for great halls.

WHAT PIPPIN MEANS: yes. But not for you. And our songs aren’t for people who engage in such cruelty.

WHAT DENETHOR HEARS: yes, but I’m embarrassed because mine are simple folk, and you’re very grand and regal. There’s no way I could be of any use to you.

WHAT DENETHOR SAYS: and why should your songs be unfit for my halls? Sing me a song.

WHAT DENETHOR MEANS: we’re all equals culturally. I’m a benevolent ruler, I don’t think your songs are inferior to those produced by my skilled musicians. Let me engage with your culture.

WHAT PIPPIN HEARS: I have literally already forgotten about my son. I’m more interested in entertainment and food, things you normally adore and which I’m making a mockery of by my actions. So sing to me songs of those things you love, entertainment and food. My son doesn’t matter to me and shouldn’t matter to you.

And then Pippin sings.

WHAT DENETHOR HEARS: what a pretty little song.

WHAT PIPPIN IS SAYING WITH THE SONG: fuck you for doing this to your son, who I love. Fuck you for doing this to me, as I mourn. Fuck you for making a mockery of the things I love, when it’s clear you don’t care for them any more than you do for YOUR SON. Your child, who you should want to protect. If you won’t mourn in these halls, by everything I hold dear I swear SOMEONE will.

Pippin can’t say any of this out loud. But his word choices are extremely deliberate. And so are Denethor’s! He does not see himself as a bad person! I don’t know enough LOTR to know if he’s a villain or just an asshole, but the important thing here is HE THINKS OF HIMSELF AS NEITHER. He’s a good guy who’s had to make some hard choices, that’s all. It’s the editing that tells you he’s not actually that at all.

This is a MASTERCLASS in “everyone is their own protagonist” and if this is the standard the movies rise to all the time I understand why y’all love them so much, because holy shit. That’s incredible.

Toothpaste companies must really hate people who are allergic to mint toothpaste, which a lot of people are! Apparently it's NOT supposed to burn like minty hellfire? (I'm fine with mint candy, it's only mint toothpaste that hurts)

I've been using Tom's fennel for years, but am now trying to find one with fluoride in it, and finding a toothpaste that is no mint and yes fluoride should not be such a huge and infuriating quest. still got some more grocery stores to search, but not even the children's toothpaste in the nearest one had any that were suitable.

alright the lyrics I put in the tags on the original post & in a later addition were kinda rough because I couldn't think of replacements for all the religious lines, but it's been rotating in my mind all day so here's a better version of Minty Hellfire:

Advise me, my dentist, you know I'm a hygienic man of my flossing I am justly proud.

I brush every surface, my gums shed not a drop of blood,  no single cheat day ever I've allowed.

Then tell me, my dentist, why it's never good enough,  why the pits of rot still mar my teeth.

I must switch to fluoride? But every option I can find  is full of minty pain beyond belief!

Like fire, Hellfire, this fire sharp and fresh.  To clean my enamel should not inflame my flesh.

It's not my fault! I'm not to blame!  It's Colgate, Sensodyne, and Crest who've set this flame!

It's not my fault, if every brand  has added twenty times more mint than I can stand.

Protect me, oh grocers! Don't let the menthol touch my lips,  don't let its fire sear my mouth and gums.

Provide me with fluoride, but not laced with the fires of Hell,  and I'll keep all my teeth for years to come.

Hellfire, mint fire, is all that I can find.  I may be required to order paste online.

(Thank you again to everyone leaving suggestions in the notes, I have a grand Toothpaste Quest ahead of me! Checked another store today and found no paste, but I did get strawberry kid's mouthwash that says "maximum fluoride", so hopefully probably that won't burn.)

(karaoke track here, vocals mine)

Hell yeah!!! Thank you for recording it, because I very much cannot sing!

WITCHCRAFT!!!!!!!!

This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏ Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏? For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅‍♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME. Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨‍✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨.

The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while

imagine you’re a guard for your castle, and you see this lady calling for help and saying she’s the queen, so you bring her in and everyone watches as she fucking eats the babies in there and just goes, “yep. Sure. New queen.” Because she got them, along with you, all high on psychedelics. And then she transforms into a giant fucking blue creature and crawls away, never to be seen again.

God forbid women do anything

hey guys can you help me find that old portrait of a girl holding a little painting of a naked dude and cracking up about it?? I want to say it’s by Rembrandt but that’s probably not right

It’s “Smiling Girl, a Courtesan, Holding an Obscene Image” by Gerard van Honthorst!!

It’s the best painting that exists

I don’t know about you, but I really want to know what’s written on there - wait, I found a higher res image, can anyone translate this?

also it’s kind of an amazing little vignette

Hahahaa

Okay it says “who knows my arse from behind” and I will never recover from this

OKAY— so i LOVE this painting, it’s in the St. Louis Art Museum, and on a tour i found out the story. it’s not a naked dude, at all. It’s actually a smaller depiction of her, she’s a sex worker! She’s showing off her advertising for her services. It’s a really cool historical example of sex work, and a gorgeous painting to see in person.

So that grin is her going:

“That’s me!!”

1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane follow

It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...

🧔🏻‍♂️ queerqueg follow

the franklin expedition is dead as hell

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane follow

Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing less from a M*lville fan

10,558 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all

#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh

659 notes

🎨 asherbrowndurand

Just painted this

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ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927

RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed

🖼️ preraphaelitebro follow

HERITAGE POST

📝 shakespearesforehead follow

How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol

82,170 notes

🌄 loyalromantic follow

poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/

#as useless and degenerate as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect

6,884 notes

🎀 thefopdiaries follow

I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling

📜 bartlebi-thescrivener

i think i hauve consumption

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🐋 whaler4life

They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME

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🌿 naturesnaturalist follow

I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense

#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo

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🤵🏻‍♂️ byronicherotournament follow

🙈 butchbronte follow

Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist

📖 sapphichelenburns follow

It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. Anyway #rochestersweep

🙈 butchbronte follow

I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened

📖 sapphichelenburns follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily

8,027 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon

#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting

522 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH

#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....

2,309 notes

⭐️ newamerican

Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol

#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure

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Gonna get myself a fun little surprise I guess

This is better than I'd ever hoped for, I bet a rat could kill you with that thing by firing a laser back in time and electrocuting your grandfather

Just look at this thing

The rat gun is hereeeeee!

This is getting notes again so I will admit that "rat gun" was an autocorrect error and it was supposed to be "ray gun."

But it'll always be a rat gun to me.

The most expensive thing in these pictures was the cat, and he was $60.

I'll be honest--I forgot that the pump organ desk/bar was visible in the background, and it was NOT under $60.

It was actually $75.

The chairs, however, were paid for in human life. I inherited them; they were originally my great grandmother's. But they're not particularly rare-- you can find these exact chairs without a lot of effort, in reasonable shape, for not that much money. They made a lot of them.

your gazelle has a pearl choker

That's Hadrian. He's a bush buck and he loves fashion.

Hi you asked this question and I immediately went to the pottery studio to make a calcifer to put in my woodstove.

Will update if he survives the kiln.

i am still on tenterhooks vis a vis calcifer 🥺🥺🥺

I just brought him home from the pottery studio and wired him for light. He lives!!!!!

OP just wondering do you like have the closet to Narnia tucked in there somewhere?

Dude, c'mon, these things take time.

Give me a couple hours.

Trumpkin season

so I just stumbled upon the norwegian animorphs audiobook covers and they’re pretty cool, but some are pretty silly. i love them! 

Pintando con lego

Stop! THIEF!

There is absolutely no way to predict this video