Two words...
Me, too. Those two little words have been swirling around my head for the past week...
The first post I read was on Instagram, and despite the pangs of sadness and anger, the overwhelming feeling was one of collective empathy - painful as it might be, we are in this together - no woman is alone in her experience of sexual assault, abuse or harassment.
The problem of course is that so many of us carry these things alone. Out of fear, or shame, or the lack of words and/or appropriate support... We carry these heavy burdens that truly belong to someone else.
Never in a million years did I think I would ever share my experiences publicly... Yet seeing the collective power of women bravely telling their stories, I suddenly felt compelled to be a part of this. But as I began to think it through, the reality of my Instagram audience sunk in and the old shame gremlins of the past started to sneak up on me. I couldn’t share my most personal, deep, dark secrets with everyone I work with... With the people I look up to the most; with the friends I’ve known since school who never knew the truth behind the ways in which I fell apart. I started to doubt myself; I felt guilty that I couldn’t bring myself to add my voice to something I believe is really important.
And so I came here to write a post. Here where I ironically have 30 times the followers (not that numbers matter), yet in terms of people I see day to day, I’m pretty well anonymous. And there’s a certain safety in that. I analysed and criticised that choice - if I could only be honest in a place I’m anonymous, what was the point? The point is women need to feel safe to tell their stories. Whereever that takes place; however that takes place. I was reminded of this Brene Brown quote...
“My story is reserved for the people in my life who’ve earned the right to hear it.”
And that will mean different things for different people. The details of my experiences are something that I choose to keep private and probably always will. For someone else, it may be incredibly freeing to share more openly. The power lies in making that choice for ourselves. And this is where I believe the Me Too campaign is positive and important; it’s giving women a platform to speak about experiences that previously were hidden in the shadows. Bringing the dark into the light is never easy; I know for many people reading these posts may be painful and confronting - it has been for me. But I also believe it offers the opportunity for healing and connection; to begin change and find freedom.
To everyone who has shared their experience of sexual violence or harassment (in any way), I honour you and my heart goes out to you for what you’ve been through. And to anyone who has felt unable or has chosen not to share, you also have my love, light and respect, I hope you know it’s perfectly ok to choose not to share whatever you may have been through. We are all in this life together, be kind.
Love and light,
Sar