Anonymous asked:

Something triggers a memory and I am not clear about the reality . How do I heal myself if there is not clarity?

Hi lovely anon,

I can really empathise with how challenging this can seem. I know in the past I spent an enormous amount of time going over things in my mind in an attempt to clarify experiences, as I also believed this was necessary to heal and move on. Not only did I not succeed in finding clarity or inner peace, but I in fact ended up more distressed and unwell in the process. But what I eventually learned is extremely valuable.

People often say that the past can’t hurt you, and in a black and white sort of way, this is true. It’s not the facts of the past that hurt us - it’s how we hold them and the feelings we attach to those memories. It’s the feelings we have about those memories that continue to influence our choices in the present, and carry the past forwards into the future.

Realising this is SO important, because when you realise this, you realise that it doesn’t matter if your memories are blurry, crystal clear or playing tricks on you, what matters is how you FEEL about these things. And there lies your healing; in changing how you feel about the past, and in turn your self, present and future.

So try not to focus on finding clarity, and focus on the feelings that these memories bring up. This is not always easy or comfortable, and I know it can be a really long process to work through these emotions; why this is how we feel, how it’s affecting our present lives, and ultimately how we change or accept these feelings in order to heal and move on to healthier, happier and more peaceful lives. It’s something I myself am still very much in the process of doing. And I’m not gonna lie, it’s really hard sometimes - this week in particular has been a real battle. But ultimately I believe it’s worth it. If sometimes you have to take a break and curl up in a ball(literally or metaphorically), that’s ok. Often that’s what gives me the strength and determination to return to face things and keep moving forwards, even if it is at snail’s pace.

I hope that makes sense and helps. Please don’t hesitate to message me on or off anon if I can help any further, you’re not alone in this.

Love and light xxx

#healing #recovery #emotions #feelings #memories #questions

goldenthreadsdontbreakeasily

Eventually I decided that maybe this is where people’s souls go when they die. Maybe they live on in our hearts, and our memories, and visit us in our dreams. Maybe some people really do never leave us, because our connection is with their soul, and not the physical body which it once inhabited.

goldenthreadsdontbreakeasily

"What is permanent rests in the heart..."

My beautiful Aunty would have been 60 today. She was one of the most alive people I knew, right up until the day she lost her battle with Cancer just over 6 years ago. She was also more like a Mother to me than my own Mother ever was, and the past 2 years I've wished on every star in the universe that she was back here by my side. With her strength, and kindness, and craziness that maybe somehow could help make sense of the pieces my life has fallen into.

From the day she left the physical world, it never really felt like she was gone. I didn't feel grief so much as I felt a deep sense of 'missing'; like she had just taken a really, really long trip to Bali, with no form of contact. That didn't stop me picking up my phone and dialing her number for months afterwards. For a long time I wondered whether I was in denial; whether I needed go through some sort of grieving process to let go and move on.

Eventually I decided that maybe this is where people's souls go when they die. Maybe they live on in our hearts, and our memories, and visit us in our dreams. Maybe some people really do never leave us, because our connection is with their soul, and not the physical body which it once inhabited.

"How did it go so fast you'll say as we are looking back and then we'll understand we held gold dust in our hands..."

#personal #death #life #loss #grief #memories #soul #connection #gold dust #sadness #cancer

goldenthreadsdontbreakeasily

#loss #grief #sadness #broken hearted #emotions #feelings #thoughts #acceptance #death #life #love #hope #memories #lily #lilyindasun #anne lamott #healing #recovery

goldenthreadsdontbreakeasily

One of the constant truths in life is that there is only the present moment; only the here and now. Our memories and our thoughts transport us to times gone by and to imaginings of what might yet occur in our lives, but our laboratory for our decisions and choices is here – in this moment in time. Often we arrive at a crossroads position because we are “all over the place”. We are fragmented, having distributed so much of ourselves to our past that we cannot think clearly about how to navigate this present moment in our lives. We find it impossible to recognize that the time has come to take a new path.

Caroline Myss