I am tired of walking around being a reaction where anyone can push my button because I haven’t dealt with what’s making me react! Well, it’s hard to hang with close friends who haven’t dealt with it too, because a division happens. It’s we’re not looking at how we betray each other and what our responsibility is. We have to look at is the hurt from that experience.
But now it is in insidious ways. We’re still doing it emotionally, and yet we’re not looking at ‘wait a minute, why are we hurting each other?’ Competitiveness, and most of the time it’s withholding, not being able to say ‘you did a good job,’ thus making another woman doubt herself by what you don’t say.” There can be such a web, such layers shrouded… there’s so much stuff, and I’m just trying to get through my own stuff. When I can get through my own stuff and see where I’m at. It’s much easier for all of us, and none of you are exempt here!
The realization that this is not going to get resolved. Let’s not pretend it’s OK: it’s not OK, but I have to be OK even when everything’s not OK. I’ve got to accept that everyone’s not gonna choose what I want them to choose, and let’s take the next step: why do I need them to choose what I want them to choose? I wanted some of my friends to choose freedom, to choose empowerment. We talked about the word: this is empowerment, what we are talking about. To look in those places and own up.
