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#hope – @goldenthreadsdontbreakeasily on Tumblr
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Underwater Thing

@goldenthreadsdontbreakeasily / goldenthreadsdontbreakeasily.tumblr.com

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“Rolling and unrolling, uncoiling running free...”

Looking back at my life this time last year, I barely recognise myself... I have changed and grown and my life has evolved in ways I never imagined... I am filled with gratitude for where the universe has taken me.

And proud of my own hard work!!! And that’s what it mostly comes down to - working my ass off and never giving up!!! Learning to put myself first; walking away from things that no longer serve me; sitting with uncertainty; trusting the path even if it’s still being paved.

I’ve gained and lost so many things... most of which can’t be measured in kilograms...

I’ve lost my fear of being alone...

I’ve gained confidence and self-belief...

I’ve lost people who held a negative space in my life...

I’ve gained respect, recognition and a sense of being valued...

I’ve lost most of the shame that has overshadowed my life for so long...

I’ve gained dreams and goals and ambition to go after what I really want...

I’ve lost my fear of speaking my mind and disappointing people...

I’ve gained health, happiness and contentment...

I’ve gained freedom...

I’ve gained friends I love with all of my heart...

I’ve lost my attachment to my Eating Disorder...

I’ve gained my life back.

And yes, I have gained weight. But aside from it being necessary for my wellbeing, it’s an inconsequential fact... There’s no fear or shame or discomfort, but nor is there any real need to focus on it. I can say without hesitation that I’ve gained around 20kg and I am to a degree proud of that because of the battle this has been... But on the other hand, it pales in comparison to all the other things I’ve gained in my life.

And I continue to change and grow and where I once would have feared this I now just roll with it... I am going for a role that will mean moving my whole life... Again. But you know what? BRING IT!!! I am so excited... About EVERYTHING in my life. Life is amazing, and SO SO SO worth fighting for. Nothing lasts forever, so if you’re going through darkness just keep going - there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, and it never goes out. You just have to believe that because you won’t always see it until you get there.

Love and light xx 

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So true. Especially worth keeping in mind on "R u ok" day. I'm perfectly happy and ok now, but for a long time I wasn't and many people would never have noticed. Grateful for those that did. Always be kind 💜 #ruok #ruokday #kindness #compassion #empathy #support #mentalhealth #life #positive #hope #healing #recovery #inspo #inspiration #regram @kayla_itsines

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"Uh oh, let go, off on my way..."

Off on my way to Byron. And peace and happiness and health. After the toughest few weeks I'd had in a while, day by day things have fallen into place and I think I actually feel more confident and content than I ever have. And I think in part it's actually because of those bumps in the road... Because it proved to me that a lot of these things really were just fears. I am strong and capable and perfectly fine on my own... But I'll never be completely on my own. I have found family in people who may not be of the same flesh and blood, but they're of the same soul and spirit, and with that comes a connection that runs so much deeper. "Threads that are golden don't break easily."

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Anonymous asked:

Just to add to the reviews, I recovered two years ago using Minnie Maud and am now the happiest and healthiest I've ever been :) everyone is different though! You could try it out. What did you mean by it was dangerous? Xx

I meant that from a couple stories I’ve been told, about how Minnie Maud has personally ruined their lives, I’ve gathered that while it may be helpful to some, I’d rather not take any chances. I’m not experimenting on my body. I’m not much of a guess and check kind of person when it comes to nourishing my body.

Before y'all go off on me for ‘not wanting to gain weight’, shush and think about what you’re saying. Lots of people recover using other methods and they’re usually personalized to fit their own needs.

I am so sick of this ‘one size fits all’ mentality in the ED recovery community. Eating Disorders are a personal thing and they are all different. Just because someone decides to blog about their progress and struggles does not give you any room to comment on it or make a forceful suggestion pushing them to recover your way. (This isn’t necessarily in reference to you, anon. I’m just saying in general.)

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That being said, if you have some full blown FACTS, like scientifically proven facts ( espressodoll is good about this ), I’ll be more than happy to listen and take your unsolicited advice.

I would just like to say that I have a ton of thoughts on Minnie Maud but in short, I do NOT support it. I am not saying that you can’t recover while following the guidelines but Gwyneth holds the belief that MM is the ONLY way to have a full recovery. As someone that followed MM guidelines a couple years ago and ended up in the hospital due to refeeding syndrome/edema, I would NEVER recommend it to others. I know that she says to increase gradually but the reality is that you cannot pin a specific number on your health and your recovery.  Another thing that frustrates me about Gwyneth is that she recommends hitting “minimums” each day, and she recommends reaching a specific BMI. Like YES, let’s encourage people with eating disorders to rigidly count calories and obsess about their BMI (which is proven to be bullshit). That will be really effective.  It is true that you may NEED those amounts to gain weight but it also may be true that you don’t. For example, if you need to gain weight (as determined by a professional) and you aren’t doing so on 2,500cal, you need to increase. It really is as simple as that.  This is something that you will need to discuss with your specialized dietitian.  On a final note, my treatment program (Monte Nido) really emphasized the importance of normal eating and food flexibility. Our meals were ALL the same size and they stayed the same regardless of whether we needed to gain/maintain weight. The differences in our snack sizes varies to meet our individual nutrition needs but for the most part, the focus was on learning what normal portions are. Additionally, the program does not use rigid amounts of calories to determine each meal/snack; it is true that all of the meals are in a range but the reality is that our bodies do not need precisely the same amount every single day. I would consider myself to be doing really well in recovery right now (physically and mentally) and I did not follow MM guidelines or even anything close. My focus was to restore weight (and eating enough to do so) and then seeing where my body wanted to settle. No minimums, maximums, restrictions, or benchmarks to hit. 

espressodoll is bang on point. The only thing I would add, which seems to be overlooked again and again and again, is the vitality of emotional and psychological recovery. ED’s are heavily focused on the physical aspects, yet it’s driven by the mental aspects. You cannot expect to recover and maintain a state of health if you only address the physical symptoms. It’s absolutely vital that you do nourish yourself adequately and restore your body, but equally so, you need to heal emotionally and mentally. There’s no single way to do this... It may require professional support from a counsellor, psychologist, psychiatrist or some other form of qualified therapist. Or you may find another path, through friends, family, music, art, writing, blogging. The key part is allowing yourself to express and feel what you really feel. Feeling is healing. Only then can you learn how to cope and express your emotions in a healthy way. It took me a very long time to realise this (I’m still learning), but this is vital not just to recover from an ED, but it’s vital to living a happy and healthy life. Feelings don’t just disappear, you have to let them out. And you know what? When you do, often it turns out they’re not as scary as they seemed trapped in the confines of your mind.

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My hope is that in some small way as a writer… you set off lightbulbs for other people and their wholeness. That means their shadows, parts of themselves they amputated out of shame. This is done by many many people… Our wholeness is what makes a conscious planet. And to me, that’s really what Utopia is, people exploring their uniqueness and having respect for each other’s uniqueness. Not one of us has the magic; all of us have the unique magic. If I can remind one person of this, maybe they can remind me, when I’m having a bad day and I’ve forgotten my uniqueness.

Tori Amos (via liquid-diamonds-flowing)

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