“Rolling and unrolling, uncoiling running free...”
Looking back at my life this time last year, I barely recognise myself... I have changed and grown and my life has evolved in ways I never imagined... I am filled with gratitude for where the universe has taken me.
And proud of my own hard work!!! And that’s what it mostly comes down to - working my ass off and never giving up!!! Learning to put myself first; walking away from things that no longer serve me; sitting with uncertainty; trusting the path even if it’s still being paved.
I’ve gained and lost so many things... most of which can’t be measured in kilograms...
I’ve lost my fear of being alone...
I’ve gained confidence and self-belief...
I’ve lost people who held a negative space in my life...
I’ve gained respect, recognition and a sense of being valued...
I’ve lost most of the shame that has overshadowed my life for so long...
I’ve gained dreams and goals and ambition to go after what I really want...
I’ve lost my fear of speaking my mind and disappointing people...
I’ve gained health, happiness and contentment...
I’ve gained freedom...
I’ve gained friends I love with all of my heart...
I’ve lost my attachment to my Eating Disorder...
I’ve gained my life back.
And yes, I have gained weight. But aside from it being necessary for my wellbeing, it’s an inconsequential fact... There’s no fear or shame or discomfort, but nor is there any real need to focus on it. I can say without hesitation that I’ve gained around 20kg and I am to a degree proud of that because of the battle this has been... But on the other hand, it pales in comparison to all the other things I’ve gained in my life.
And I continue to change and grow and where I once would have feared this I now just roll with it... I am going for a role that will mean moving my whole life... Again. But you know what? BRING IT!!! I am so excited... About EVERYTHING in my life. Life is amazing, and SO SO SO worth fighting for. Nothing lasts forever, so if you’re going through darkness just keep going - there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, and it never goes out. You just have to believe that because you won’t always see it until you get there.
Love and light xx