honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

oooh trick or treat!! dealer's choice or anything from a niche pairing to soothe this loser soul

i am making the executive decision to say jondo is a niche pairing and i just clawed thru my 24hr headache to write jondo and it's also piss which one could say is also comparatively niche so here is. some of that because i keep forgetting to finish these asks i am So sorry

“If you can’t make it back to hospitality, just do it now,” Jon says. Firmer this time. It’s not a good idea, but it’s not the worst idea he’s ever had. Lando’s drenched already, sweat and rain. It’s not going to make a difference. It genuinely doesn’t look like Lando’s going to make it, not to Mclaren or any of the other nearby bathrooms. “No one’s going to notice, you can.”

“But—”

“You’re going to anyway, at this rate,” Jon says, squeezing Lando’s arms tight. Lando’s fingers jerk up, catching in the front of Jon’s shirt. “Just look at me. You can go. You can let go.”

Lando staring directly into Jon’s eyes while Jon tells him to piss himself isn’t something he’s ever really considered happening. Even less considered—Lando staring directly into Jon’s eyes while he starts actually pissing himself.

He makes this noise. This little warbling thing, complex like birdsong. Pain and relief and, god, humiliation but mostly relief, thank fuck. The whole time Jon expects him to close his eyes but he doesn’t, holds Jon’s gaze and clings to Jon’s shirt and Jon can feel it, the heat, when it starts to soak through Lando’s suit. He’s not close enough for them to be touching, there, and even if they were it wouldn’t matter. Wet is wet is wet.