Made me and my babyyyy

So when I was about 14 I had a “boyfriend”

(I only put it in quotation because it was a high school relationship and to me it doesn’t count count)

We were a couple for about 6 months and my mom was pregnant with my baby brother at the time.

One of my older friends didn’t think he was a good guy for me because he had a few issues that hadn’t been properly resolved yet and she was worried about me because I was only 14. (No she wasn’t jealous of our relationship, she just knew the guy better than I did and she was looking out for me.)

We broke up and didn’t speak for years. We reconnected when we both started working at the same store (I had worked there longer he got the job maybe a year before the store went bankrupt) and became really good friends again

Flash forward to today: I had to go to town to pick up my birth control (hallelujah I finally have it back!) and I stopped by the store he works at. It’s actually the same building of the store we used to work at before it’s just not the same store now. He told me that he had proposed to his girlfriend and that they’re getting married next October (2024)

Felt a little cute for once this morning

It’s that time of year again!

I was 16 in this omfg

Kallie and I got a haircut!

Never cooked a steak before. Actually succeeded

I’m so fuckin happy 😭

My co-worker brought us all Halloween cookies and I’m crying. HES SO ADORABLE I CANT EAT HIM 🥺😭🖤👻🍪

Finally got a chance to wear my pioneer woman shirt 💙

Feeling the big sadness lately….

My heart feels all heavy and it hurts. All I want to do is lay in bed and cry.

I feel like I’ve been kicked in the heart and now all my feelings are all jumbled up

I’m just so tired of feeling alone…..

Yesterday at the FamilyDollarTree

Today was good. Tried to find Spirit and the location was wrong and they don’t let you call so that was a disappointment. My sister picked her wedding dress so I’m out like $1,100 but it’s ok. My feet are RAW from wearing the wrong shoes and walking so much. We weren’t expecting to walk so much so that’s why I wore them. It’s hurts. I also work till 5pm tomorrow so yayyyyy 😭

I haven’t thought of a name for him yet

I kinda wanna not exist anymore. It’s not fun anymore

Every day I’m reminded that I’m never going to get married or become a mom or ever be loved truly by anyone and that my existence on this planet is meaningless.

I’m going on a DATE on Saturday 😍

This guy I’ve been talking to recently and REALLY liked all of a sudden blocked me out of nowhere and I’m really upset about it. It’s been almost a year since I’ve been in a relationship and I REALLY liked him….

Im so upset