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#waking up just made it harder#I am more at peace with understanding this season should end#but also sick knowing I’ll never get that again#that eye contact will never happen. I’ll never hear their voice. I’ll never sit at that table.#I’ll never be welcomed so deeply without being able to touch it#I am honored and respect the death but I’m mourning returning to a world that doesn’t want me#I’m mourning having a semblance of a support system that represented how I felt I looked and told me I had power#I’m mourning the fact it was a pair so deeply connected to the one I have as a twin#I’m sick I’ll never experience it again#even if there is a return it won’t be with the same people and it therefore won’t be the same soul#I’ll never be able to interact again not that I was brave enough in the first place#it’s just hard#and I know it’s not justified. I know I didn’t earn it. I know there are people who deserved it more than me#but I’m distraught about losing it#I woke up normal. I woke up where my tears don’t mean anything.#I woke up where I’m insignificant.#and I’m trapped here.#I understand the cycle and I understand the challenge and journey I should face before me#but there’s absolutely a part of me that feels very empty#Glindy’s Posts